Friends with benefits - How does such a relationship start...how is it brought up?

[blue16]

For anyone who has a friend with benefits, how did these relationships start? Who brought up the subject?

[reasontosigh]

In my case, neither of us brought it up. We had been close friends for a few years at the time we first slept together. So I guess you could say it evolved naturally in this case.

[Rightlymia]

We were in college classes together and became friends first but there was always a sexual attraction to one another, then one night we went out together and it was all over after that.

[Arabess]

I would never promote this kind of relationship because generally....they can end up being very painful if being used in hopes of it leading to a different level. Truth is....they generally begin and end on a sexual tone.

 

In my case, I was so devastated over a broken relationship that I near tears all day at work. It was just pathetic. A good friend who didn't work for my company, but we worked close together said he could provide the 'distraction'. And he did....and did it well. The daily flits and evening romps....were wonderful.

 

There was a time though when it became healthier for me to end it. BUT I will never minimize the role he played in helping me get over a bad situation and being one of the best buddies I ever had in my life. I will forever cherish his friendship.

[End of my rope]

He was a friend of the family for a long time. There was sexual tension between us you could cut with a knife. We found ourselves single at the same time. We found ourselves alone at my step dad's house. He pushed me up against the wall and kissed me and we had sex for the first time and then continued to do so two or three times a week thereafter for a year. He was the most amazing lover I've ever had. We tried to have a relationship but we didn't connect on any level other then sexually...but it was amazing while it lasted. He's still my "inspiration" sometimes.

[Fedup&givingup]

I'm with the notion that it will end badly, that someone will get hurt. Usually, one wants more and continues to participate with the hopes that more will transpire. That doesn't happen, and then they end up feeling very used.

[fredrolin]

I had a relationship with "Gina" for 5 years. We lived together and even planned marriage, but I cheated on her and it fell apart.

The whole 5 years we were together we were young, stupid and had no communication.

 

Years later we started to talk and became the best of friends who could tell each other anything.

whenever one or the other was horny we would just hook up and f*ck, even if we were in relationships.

We had this unbelievable bond and trust and to this day it has never been betrayed.

 

As a couple we sucked, but as friends with benefits we were great together.

 

After we both got married the friendship died.

[reasontosigh]

One thing to note here: everybody else is speaking in the past tense. that should tell you something right there, I suppose.

 

Yes, mine is still ongoing, but that is an exception - a very rare one, I'd say.

[sami]

Friendship never thrives on sex alone. It will eventually die.

[reasontosigh]

Quite true, sami.

 

'Tis why it's called friends with benefits, right!?

[sami]

I personally don't know exactly what that " Friends with Benefits" means. Who is the beneficiary?.

[Regulus]

it just happens... chemistry and the right situation collide from time to time. but it's never an ongoing steady thing...for me at least (i wish)

 

sami: both parties

[CurlyIam]

If it just happenes, that's it. But don't try tomake it happen.

 

Console yourself with the idea you'd be giving up a friendship for some interesting horizontal (or not ) activities. The later sounds like lots of fun, lasts shorter and has a tremendous potential of getting you hurt.