Author vweb1218 Posted May 20, 2011 Author Share Posted May 20, 2011 Oh my goodness you got 2 extra mouths to help you... eeww. Opps, months !! Link to post Share on other sites
Mimolicious Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 What is emotional cheating? This type of affair is often characterized by: Inappropriate emotional intimacy. The partner being unfaithful may spend inappropriate or excessive time with someone of the opposite or same gender (time not shared with the faithful partner). He or she may confide more in their new “friend” than in their partner and may share more intimate emotional feelings and secrets with their new partner than with their existing spouse. Any time that an individual invests more emotionally into a relationship with someone besides their partner the existing partnership may suffer. Deception and secrecy. Those involved may not tell their partners about the amount of time they spend with each other. An individual involved in this type of affair may, for example, tell his or her spouse that they are doing other activities when they are really meeting with someone else. Or the unfaithful spouse may exclude any mention of the other person while discussing the day’s activities to conceal the rendezvous. Even if no physical intimacy occurs, the deception clearly shows that those involved believe they are doing something wrong that undermines the existing relationship. In other words, if there was really no harm in meeting with a friend, both parties would feel comfortable telling their partners the truth about where they are meeting and what they are discussing. Increased fighting. When a person becomes emotionally involved with a third party, they may view the new person as all good and their committed partner as all bad. This person may blame their interest in the third party on their committed partner, which will lead to increased fighting and strain on the relationship.[8] An emotional triangle. One that may only be known to the unfaithful, who then struggles to keep the other two from knowing of the impact of one upon the other. Denial will likely characterize the unfaithful person's response to an invitation by their spouse to reflect on the competing demands of the relationship with the other person. Sexual and emotional chemistry. Sexual and emotional chemistry can present itself based on a physical attraction one might feel for another person. In addition, it can also be related to an increase in dopamine, a hormone that produces feelings of pleasure, and norepinephrine, which is similar to adrenaline and causes an increase in excitement. This may or may not lead to physical intimacy, however, if nurtured it may present itself. The time between the first meeting and a first kiss can often be very lengthy, but the time between the first kiss and sexual intercourse may be very short. In most of these affairs, however, an unspoken attraction exists. A partner may spend extra time getting ready before seeing this "friend" or may buy new clothing or change their appearance in order to seem attractive to them. They may obsess anticipating phone calls, emails or text messages. Denial. Denial of the presence of sexual behavior, sexuality or even of an atom of limerence. "Limerence is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state in which a person feels an intense romantic desire for another person. It is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual." This denial can be exhibited by the cheating partner and/or the partner being cheated on, especially if the partner cheated on is male. If the cheating partner accepts that the element of sexual attraction exists, however, and physical contact starts, it can cause the current relationship to start collapsing. Betrayal. There is an implicit betrayal of values, believed to have been shared, about the sanctity of a relationship based on love, of the idea of a soulmate and of being faithful to fundamental agreements underlying intimacy, that are perceived by the spouse not involved in the affair to be a core of their committed relationship and world view. Why Is It Bad? Some may argue that since emotional affairs fall just short of physical cheating they aren’t really all that bad. But this is incorrect. Emotional affairs can hurt just as much as physical cheating and sometimes even more. When one partner replaces time, feelings, and intimacy with someone other than their partner it hurts the relationship between them and their partner. Emotional affairs involve all the lying and mistrust that physical affairs do, and their damage often takes much longer to overcome. How bad is emotional cheating? Well, how important is love to you? What bothers most people about emotional affairs is that there is intimacy, friendship, an emotional connection, and maybe even love in the affair, all of which is supposed to be reserved for your partner alone. People in relationships are more than lovers, they are best friends and sources of emotional comfort far deeper than a platonic friendship level. It can be very painful to feel replaced in this regard. Now how bad is emotional cheating compared to a physical affair? Physical cheating can often be just casual sex with no deep, emotional connection. While this is still far from a good situation, some people feel it's better than emotional infidelity. They feel somewhat comforted if there was no love or emotional intimacy involved, and it was only a physical act. These two forms of infidelity are not mutually exclusive, however. If you're suspicious of an emotional affair, be prepared for the possibility of it becoming physical. This doesn't always happen, but the emotional affair affair may be worth looking into if you have that suspicion. Emotional affairs can certainly run deeper than physical ones for many people. But the thing about them is they're easier to catch! Think about it. Text messages, phone calls, emails, etc. all leave a written record. You can get solid proof and catch your cheater! Don't let yourself get hurt anymore, click here! Later !! Oh I see you have also learned how to copy and paste! Good girl! Link to post Share on other sites
FieldFlower Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Field, she won't answer questions like this. She'll tell you he has no legs or something of equal value. She probably is not 37, I really hope she is not. She's just messed up. She'll seek real help or she won't. Nothing anyone can do here or should put their energy into trying. Yeah I know, but the more I become convinced that this is just a bunch of horse****, the more I want to punch little holes in the "happily ever after" mantra. I'm not the greatest in the spelling department, and I'll admit that my grammer can be atrocious, but there are just certain typos that I can't reconcile with someone who claims to have this great education, then again if it were not for spell check, my credibility would seriously be in question too. Like whatever is not what ever, and so on. Just little things like that. Also, at the risk of not posting any personal information, I do have first hand knowledge that when people throw around the "R" word, and after getting backlash for it, they immediately launch into the "I have worked with special needs", is just a means to justify, and rarely is the truth. Also, someone that has worked extensively with special needs people, know that it's not all sunshine, and they are not always the sweetest of people. They are just like us, and their moods can swing wildly from day to day, even hour to hour. It takes an enormous amount of paitence, and she can't even handle one post that isn't slapping her on the back saying good job. vweb, I'm done posting to you, which I'm sure won't bother you one bit, but I hope that if you are legit, that you at least appreciate those who have taken time and responded to you. If your not, well let's just say I think you know what you can do there too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vweb1218 Posted May 21, 2011 Author Share Posted May 21, 2011 Yeah I know, but the more I become convinced that this is just a bunch of horse****, the more I want to punch little holes in the "happily ever after" mantra. I'm not the greatest in the spelling department, and I'll admit that my grammer can be atrocious, but there are just certain typos that I can't reconcile with someone who claims to have this great education, then again if it were not for spell check, my credibility would seriously be in question too. Like whatever is not what ever, and so on. Just little things like that. Also, at the risk of not posting any personal information, I do have first hand knowledge that when people throw around the "R" word, and after getting backlash for it, they immediately launch into the "I have worked with special needs", is just a means to justify, and rarely is the truth. Also, someone that has worked extensively with special needs people, know that it's not all sunshine, and they are not always the sweetest of people. They are just like us, and their moods can swing wildly from day to day, even hour to hour. It takes an enormous amount of paitence, and she can't even handle one post that isn't slapping her on the back saying good job. vweb, I'm done posting to you, which I'm sure won't bother you one bit, but I hope that if you are legit, that you at least appreciate those who have taken time and responded to you. If your not, well let's just say I think you know what you can do there too. I never said I worked extensively with special needs people..It was one class for one semester. And they did love me everyday... I am real and thats all I have to say..I never said things were Perfect with my MM. I do go through ups and downs with him and the situation. Just happy how ever it turns out and that is my original post !! Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Red Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 Posting style is totally bogus and screams troll on all levels. Peeps don't waste your time. Read posting history. But isn't that what you did with your posts? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 It worked pretty well actually .. could tell he missed the contact even said he thought I died. !! He thought you were dead??? And what did he do about that thought? "Hm...she's not answering the phone... I guess she's dead... Oh, well... Honey? Can you get me a beer?... (yawn).":D You all hate me and think I am stupid.. Bash what you feel is a lack of intelligence. Call me a troll and figure I will get outed. Call me a bad Mom. Etc, etc , etc.. But all of you keep coming back to post over and over again! So who is the lonely, pathetic and desperate one(s) now ???? Seriously? Why do YOU keep coming if you think everybody hates you and thinks you're stupid. You know, I might be gullible but I choose to trust you're a real person. I think coming back to a thread where you think everybody hates you speaks of an issue of getting attached to people who berate you. This is not good or bad, not your fault,but if you recognize this pattern, you should try to avoid people who will hurt you - and I am talking about men, not about posters here. This is guy is not chasing you - YOU are waiting for HIM to give you the cxrumbs of his love, can't you see it????? Oh my goodness you got 2 extra mouths to help you... eeww. What are two extra mouths? I thought men hated enough the fact we have ONE mouth, somebody has three? Link to post Share on other sites
Rayne03 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 So you know enough about the internet to say you want to start your own forum but you don't know what a troll is? AND your older male best friend decided to investigate the medical condition of the wife of the MM you are having an emotional affair with. AND your MM that you are having a text/email/cybersex/ emotional affair with has never expressed a desire to divorce or leave his wife. AND even though you have told us that you are oh so very sexual, you don't want to have sex yet with this man who is so perfect for you. But you just know he is going to leave. BTW I don't think anyone posting here is angry. I know I am not. I'm rather amused. I am only half way through reading this thread, but Phoenix, if you are not already one .... i'm telling ya, you'd make a good Attorney!! Link to post Share on other sites
Rayne03 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 Whoa !! Is pretty much all I can say to this. Vweb, you may laugh now, but you sure won't be the one laughing when this all comes to an ugly end... but then alot of people have to learn the hard way. I wish you the best, but you really do seem to be on some seriously delusional ride here and when reality does set in, you'll most likely wish that you at the very least took the time to read and consider some of the advise given here. You may want to slow down enough to at least consider the other side of this journey you're on. Link to post Share on other sites
summerdowling87 Posted June 12, 2011 Share Posted June 12, 2011 This situation sounds like a very bad Talyor Swift song to me He could get divorced if he wanted to since they haven't been married long. But why would he. I'm mean since he's getting what he wants from both sides believe it or not. He is. Sounds like he like the attention from a cougar maybe that's what he wants. Link to post Share on other sites
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