Ex is dating a girl w/ a kid

[nrskrs28]

I posted this earlier and no one was responding so I posted it again to see if anyone would reply!!!

 

I am a college student and was dating a guy for 4 years. We talked marriage and I was going through a program to become Catholic, mostly because I wanted to but partially to allow us to plan a family together under a similar religion (he was Catholic). We started dating my senior year in high school and I was his first love, he went to an all male school. We really thought we were going to get married and he talked about the fact that he thought about us having kids and stuff but it was rare when he would be candid about marriage because most of the time he shied away from it and admitted he was too immature at this point (he's 21). So, anyways, we had been fighting for about 2 months because he was spending too much time w/ his friends (and had kinda put me on the back burner for 4 years b/c he wanted to hang out w/ his friends and stuff). So, I sent him on spring break by himself w/ his friends (I was invited to go but didn't) b/c I wanted him to get it all out of his system and I figured it would help our relationship out. This was about 2 weeks before I was going to get baptized (a very important time in my life). So, three days passed while he was in Florida and I got no calls from him. Finally I got a hold of him and ripped into him b/c I felt that since he hadn't called then it was like a statement of the fact he didn't miss me. So, I told him it was over, but I really didn't think that...it was more a threat to get him to wake up. Well he didn't call the rest of the time. He came back and we basically broke up. We saw each other 2 days after we broke up, he took me out to eat and he cried the entire time. He said it was hard for him and asked if he could still come to my baptism (he was my sponsor, so I had to find someone else a week before to stand in for him). So, anyways (and I know this is really bad) but I snooped into his emails b/c I had a feeling he wasn't quite being honest w/ me. It winds up that he is now in a relationship w/ a girl who has a kid. This girl went to spring break w/ him and his friends (there were like 6 guys and 3 girls). This is the guy that had told me he was too immature to get married (he wanted to wait at least 2 more years). He was talking all sweet to her...how beautiful she is and how much she makes him happy...well now he's thinking of staying at our college town rather than going home after we graduate (we both planned on going home and continuing our education then getting married)...he's only known this girl 2 weeks!!!! On top of that his mother is very conservative and would flip out if she found out he's dating someone w/ a kid (no offense...my sister has a kid out of wedlock...so I don't have an opinion on it one way or the other)...he is hiding it from her. I asked him while we were breaking up if he had become attracted to one of the girls down there and he adamantly said, "No, one just got out of a long relationship and the other has a kid." and I asked him if he was planning on dating and he said he was done w/ girls for awhile. So, he didn't show up to my baptism when just a week ago he was asking if he could come... I'm so confused and hurt and I don't think this girl knows about me either...It seems like he is really falling for her but I don't know how to analyze the situation. Any ideas as to why he's now dating a young girl w/ a kid (and he's only 21) and why he changed from crying so hard last week (and was he lying about getting in a new relationship?!?!?!) over us being over to now practically falling in love w/ a girl (at least that's what it sounds like)?!?!?! Guys feel free to comment on this cuz I don't know if the ladies would have any clue either....

[Sundaymorning]

I did not read the whole thing but 2 things stand out to me.1) he is your ex, that is his business, not yours.

2) move on, you two are not together. Leave him alone, his choices are his choices, good or bad.

[hurtingandconfused]

I don't know how to analyze the situation.

 

Don't. It's over between you guys, if you start to "analyze" your situation you will get even more hurt.

 

I'm so confused and hurt and I don't think this girl knows about me either

 

I'm sure that she does not care even if she did know about you.

 

Any ideas as to why he's now dating a young girl w/ a kid

 

Because he's young and immature. (I am the same age )

 

why he changed from crying so hard last week (and was he lying about getting in a new relationship?!?!?!)

 

He felt bad for what happened between you guys and he didn't want to hurt you.

 

 

I honestly do not think that he's "in love" with this other girl. Maybe they had something going on during his break and it lead into something that he enjoyed. If you didn't break up with him he would have. So you did yourself a favor. I know it hurts right now, and you will realize it later...you don't need this guy.

[clia]

So, anyways, we had been fighting for about 2 months because he was spending too much time w/ his friends (and had kinda put me on the back burner for 4 years b/c he wanted to hang out w/ his friends and stuff).

 

So he's had you on the back burner for FOUR YEARS? And you stuck around? Wow. I guess I'm curious what you mean by back burner?

 

So, I sent him on spring break by himself w/ his friends (I was invited to go but didn't) b/c I wanted him to get it all out of his system and I figured it would help our relationship out.

 

You sent him? Who are you, his mom? You wanted him to get what "all" out of his system? Fun? Spending time with his friends?

 

Finally I got a hold of him and ripped into him b/c I felt that since he hadn't called then it was like a statement of the fact he didn't miss me.

 

Ouch. Just remember that while you were ripping into him for not calling, that other girl was likely being a sweetheart to him. Three days is nothing--he was on vacation. You shouldn't have flipped out.

 

So, I told him it was over, but I really didn't think that...it was more a threat to get him to wake up. Well he didn't call the rest of the time.

 

Ooh...lesson learned, huh? Don't make threats like this...because obviously he was okay with it.

 

He was talking all sweet to her...how beautiful she is and how much she makes him happy...well now he's thinking of staying at our college town rather than going home after we graduate (we both planned on going home and continuing our education then getting married)...he's only known this girl 2 weeks!!!! On top of that his mother is very conservative and would flip out if she found out he's dating someone w/ a kid ...he is hiding it from her.

 

What he's doing now is none of your business. You are acting like he's proposed to her!

 

I asked him while we were breaking up if he had become attracted to one of the girls down there and he adamantly said, "No, one just got out of a long relationship and the other has a kid." and I asked him if he was planning on dating and he said he was done w/ girls for awhile.

 

He may have changed his mind since you broke up two weeks ago...or maybe he just didn't feel comfortable telling you the truth.

 

I'm so confused and hurt and I don't think this girl knows about me either...

 

What's to know? You two are broken up.

 

It seems like he is really falling for her but I don't know how to analyze the situation.

 

Stop analyzing it. It no longer involves you. He can date who he wants now, but more importantly, so can you.

 

Any ideas as to why he's now dating a young girl w/ a kid (and he's only 21) and why he changed from crying so hard last week (and was he lying about getting in a new relationship?!?!?!)

 

I'm sure calling it quits to a four year relationship was emotional and difficult, hence the crying. Maybe he felt guilty about you converting to Catholicism now that you two are no longer together. Who knows?

 

over us being over to now practically falling in love w/ a girl (at least that's what it sounds like)?!?!?!

 

His feelings for her are irrelvant for you now.

[sportsloving]

You broke up with him ... sorry to say, whether or not you really intended for it to happen it has. Playing games never gets you anywhere in relationships.. a lesson you had to learn the hard way.

 

What he does or does not do with the new girl is none of your business. Her having a child, again, none of your business.

 

It is time for you to do as he has, let go and move on... and remember that you are the one who called it quits (while he is on vacation that you could have went on and had fun but didn't).

 

I wish you luck~