welikeincrowds Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 So, I just got back from a show. (James Blake if you're curious; he's really amazing live!) I happened to meet a girl in a crowd. At the end of the show, she found me and gave me her number. She wrote it along with her name on an old library card, which is pretty damn awesome. Here's the thing: she told me that she's leaving the country to work with children in an international program, so she's only going to be available this Sunday -- and that's it. That is as long as I will ever know this girl. Sooooo... it's obvious what she's after. But what do you think I should do with her (er, you know what I mean)? Dinner and drinks for sure -- I have some great restaurants in mind that I could take her to -- but maybe something during the day as well? I would enjoy getting to know her for a minute. And how do I elegantly compress the "what do you like and how do you like it?" conversation in before she comes over? I should probably just be up front about it over drinks, yeah? Right before we head back to my place? It's not like I realistically run the risk of being too forward, right (I'd have to be really out of touch....)? I've had ONS, but never quite like this..... Maybe I should just make no plans at all and go with it, but I'd prefer if she had a pleasant last Sunday in the city, and I wouldn't mind a breeze of romance right about now. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 I think you should leave sex out of the equation. You know what happened last time... Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 I don’t believe in one night stands, but I do believe in hopelessly romantic situations. You like this girl right? Then just go hang out with her and enjoy the high that only comes from spending time with some one you are fully attracted to. You obviously haven’t lost interest so just enjoy yourself, you don’t have to make love. Just draw her naked. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 I struggle to understand why anyone who is fine with casual sexual encounters would be inquiring about how to handle one which was handed to them on a silver platter. OK, here's my take as someone who *never* has casual sexual encounters. Have a good time and what cums, cums. Nothing is too 'forward'. How's that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author welikeincrowds Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 I think you should leave sex out of the equation. You know what happened last time... :lmao: Yeah, I'm an idiot that way. But this can't fail the way that time did, because she's literally leaving the country afterward. So, **** it, right? Might as well make the most of it? Take it as far as it will ever and could possibly go? Link to post Share on other sites
Author welikeincrowds Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 I don’t believe in one night stands, but I do believe in hopelessly romantic situations. Thank you, perfectly put. You like this girl right? Then just go hang out with her and enjoy the high that only comes from spending time with some one you are fully attracted to. You obviously haven’t lost interest so just enjoy yourself, you don’t have to make love. Just draw her naked. OK, that's vote #2 for "No need to assume sex." Point taken, I'll try my ideal approach (that I don't always adopt ) and won't assume until a minute before it happens, if/when. I struggle to understand why anyone who is fine with casual sexual encounters would be inquiring about how to handle one which was handed to them on a silver platter. Some people were practically built for it, and I'm coming to terms with the idea that just might not be one of those people. My generation (as opposed to yours) has grown up being entrenched in that culture, but not everyone is naturally predisposed. I've had a few of these experiences but I'm still on the sidelines. Which is why I am actually going to make a thread about a blatant silver platter scenario. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 LOL, my generation pioneered 'free love', along with heroin, LSD and cocaine I'll look forward to your report. Life is about living, on your terms. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 So, **** it, right? If you think of her vag as "it," sure. I think it might go better if you think of "it" as "her." Might as well make the most of it? Take it as far as it will ever and could possibly go? Who says one night is as far as it can possibly go...?? Hmm...?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author welikeincrowds Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 LOL, my generation pioneered 'free love', along with heroin, LSD and cocaine Bahhhhh yeah, you're right. Key words here being "pioneered" and "entrenched." For you it was a new word, whereas it was already a part of our vocabulary at a very young age. If you think of her vag as "it," sure. I think it might go better if you think of "it" as "her." Yeah, but then I'd be saying "Whatever, **** her," which is totally not what I want to say at all! Who says one night is as far as it can possibly go...?? Hmm...?? I mean... she does, because she's leaving... unless you're talking about the next morning? OR... wait, you mean letters, don't you? Man, I have really bad handwriting. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 It's not like she is going to die after Sunday. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 LDRs aren't for everyone. Committing himself to one after ONE date would likely not be a very good idea. So yes, just go and enjoy yourself; having a plan for where you want to go would add to that, because there's nothing more annoying than going from fully-booked restaurant to fully-booked restaurant. You probably don't need much conversation about sex prior to the act in this case. Link to post Share on other sites
Author welikeincrowds Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 I'll look forward to your report. Life is about living, on your terms. Good luck Well, that was interesting. We ended up scheduling for last night instead of today. We had the most painfully romantic evening: dinner at a cozy family-owned french crêperie; cocktails at one of my favorite bars; a walk through a nearby park at night, which, by the way, was fresh and glistening, as it had just rained. She spent the night. We kissed while listening to James Blake, who is the performer we saw the night we met. Yes, candlelight. And Van Morrison, I'm not even joking -- ****, I don't usually do any of this, but I just had to, isn't this why Into the Mystic was written? And then we fell asleep in each other's arms, to the rain tapping lightly against my window... For one night, we basically lived one blatant cliche about romance in the city, and it was so great. I just got back from taking her out to breakfast at a local diner. I kissed her goodbye in front of her train station. And now she's gone! I'm just not built for ONS. The bittersweetness of it all is probably what really made it, but at this point I just see it as a gimmick. I'm not saying we would have been anything more, but the extremely ephemeral aesthetic life is just not for me. We really got along, and it seems pointless to be unable to explore that more. But that's how it is. Back to reality: working on the weekends and being frustrated and dismissive to the notion of love. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Into the Mystic gets me every time. It's a panty dropper. Link to post Share on other sites
Author welikeincrowds Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 Into the Mystic gets me every time. It's a panty dropper. Yeah, it really is. Not that I needed the help Although I will say that I essentially took your advice. We didn't have sex. I actually think it was a better night for that. Neither of us felt at all unfulfilled. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Yeah, it really is. Not that I needed the help I'm sure you didn't. Although I will say that I essentially took your advice. We didn't have sex. I actually think it was a better night for that. Neither of us felt at all unfulfilled. I wish more people would listen to me more often! Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 Awww, reading your post brings back bittersweet memories of the times my bf and I had back when we were LDR. And I realized, as much as I hated the distance and the long waits between meetings and cramming everything into the space of a week or days... there is nothing quite as poignant as the romance of that last night together, when you know he/she will be leaving the next morning and you spend every second of the night together in wistful embrace. It's the stuff movies are made of, and an experience of its own, really. And I think it's a great thing to have been able to experience it. Chin up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author welikeincrowds Posted May 20, 2011 Author Share Posted May 20, 2011 So, update: The other day I sent her a message on FB, and she messaged me back admitting that she wanted to see me again. Turns out while she has left the state (storing stuff at her parents' place), she has not yet left for good. She has a reason to come back into the city this upcoming Monday. Guess who has a date on Sunday? I'm almost a little nervous, because considering the circumstances, the pressure is on a bit -- unlike last time, which had pretty much the least pressure anyone could possibly ask for. I feel like we had a connection, and connections don't often just disappear, but still -- how disappointing would it be if this date sucked? It's not a huge consideration of mine but it's interesting how there feels like a little more at stake, a little more expectation, but hopefully it will merely translate into a little more excitement and electricity. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Hehehehehehehe! Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 What the hey? She sought you out and wants to go to your house right after meeting you? You tiger, you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author welikeincrowds Posted May 20, 2011 Author Share Posted May 20, 2011 What the hey? She sought you out and wants to go to your house right after meeting you? You tiger, you! I know, somehow I fooled her into thinking I'm likable just have to keep the illusion up for one more day! Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I know, somehow I fooled her into thinking I'm likable just have to keep the illusion up for one more day! Don't forget to fan each other with feathers and finger feed her grapes. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I know, somehow I fooled her into thinking I'm likable just have to keep the illusion up for one more day! Aww, but you ARE likable! There's no trickery necessary! Link to post Share on other sites
Author welikeincrowds Posted May 20, 2011 Author Share Posted May 20, 2011 Aww, but you ARE likable! There's no trickery necessary! Fooled another one :cool: Link to post Share on other sites
Author welikeincrowds Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 Getting ready to leave, have to go pretty much now to make it on time, just Sonicare-ing my teeth before I go, nbd. Time slowed as I witnessed a giant glob of Arm and Hammer Advance White vibrate its way out of my mouth and plop liberally in the direct center of my WHITElong-sleeve t-shirt. IT'S ALWAYS ****ING SOMETHING. Just when I think I'm out, they PULL me back in.:mad: P.S. The "mad" smiley face was, incidentally, the only one that didn't show up in that little smilies box, so I actually had to press "More" to find it. UGH :mad::mad: Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Have funnnnnnn, dude. Hehehehhee. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts