Alright, Sunday it is

[snug.bunny]

She has a few close friends here with whom she can stay, but I also offered her my place (and bed ), and told her that she can stay while she gets things figured out -- job + apartment.

 

Alright, at this point I'm just talking out loud. Any thoughts or ideas, please share.

 

You're crazy.

 

+1 on the cupcake idea.

[welikeincrowds]

Give her a nice foot rub while she eats her cupcakes.

 

It's like you need to apmplify emotions and add dramatic flair to everything.

 

sheesh! A cadaver?

 

:lmao:

 

@TA

 

I actually really did mention you! OK, well, I didn't say "Yeah well this girl TigressA on LoveShack said that she did it and it was fine", but I really did mention that I recalled similar situation and that it worked out well. So, thank you

@ES

 

You're right about that, but in the sense that it's just sort of how I think/talk, especially when writing. I don't think I'm running away with any fantasies or unrealistic ideas in particular, not with this girl. But you bring up a good point, I should keep the expectations and stuff in check, because I can get carried away with that and it can backfire Just going to stick with my preferred routine of deciding only the first few steps of the date, and then from there, going with the flow.

 

@MC

 

Yeah, based on your suggestion and TA's it's looking more and more like I should plan something local. I can keep it low key around my neighborhood (there's so many options). I also really like the takeout idea, although I'm leaning toward planning on leaving the house, to take off some of the pressure of "just the two of us having an intimate moment". However tired she is, getting around here is really invigorating. Warm night air and cozy little restaurants and trees and stuff. Brooklyn is not wound so tightly as most of Manhattan.

@tbf

 

I don't want to jinx anything, but so far, so good....

 

@s.b

 

 

Okay okay good, going with the cupcakes. I'm such a sweet guy

[snug.bunny]

:lmao:

 

@TA

 

I actually really did mention you! OK, well, I didn't say "Yeah well this girl TigressA on LoveShack said that she did it and it was fine", but I really did mention that I recalled similar situation and that it worked out well. So, thank you

@ES

 

You're right about that, but in the sense that it's just sort of how I think/talk, especially when writing. I don't think I'm running away with any fantasies or unrealistic ideas in particular, not with this girl. But you bring up a good point, I should keep the expectations and stuff in check, because I can get carried away with that and it can backfire Just going to stick with my preferred routine of deciding only the first few steps of the date, and then from there, going with the flow.

 

@MC

 

Yeah, based on your suggestion and TA's it's looking more and more like I should plan something local. I can keep it low key around my neighborhood (there's so many options). I also really like the takeout idea, although I'm leaning toward planning on leaving the house, to take off some of the pressure of "just the two of us having an intimate moment". However tired she is, getting around here is really invigorating. Warm night air and cozy little restaurants and trees and stuff. Brooklyn is not wound so tightly as most of Manhattan.

@tbf

 

I don't want to jinx anything, but so far, so good....

 

@s.b

 

 

Okay okay good, going with the cupcakes. I'm such a sweet guy

 

Awe someone is in wuv.

 

PS.

Red Velvet cupcakes = +2

 

[tigressA]

Awe someone is in wuv.

 

PS.

Red Velvet cupcakes = +2

 

 

YES!

 

Oh, this is so romantic. To think that you weren't going to see her again, and now....sigh. :love::love:

[kiss_andmakeup]

Wow, I hadn't seen this thread until just now, but I read the whole thing; very happy for you! Hope everything works out.

 

And, very jealous that you saw James Blake; unfortunately he isn't touring anywhere near me.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Luv is in the air :love::bunny:

 

 

No offense or anything welike but I did feel like you were being overly dramatic before when you wrote how you have one Sunday together and then that's it forever. Then also when you described the emotions you felt when this girl left after knowing her for a very short time. It's like you need to apmplify emotions and add dramatic flair to everything. I like it, I am just saying that I hope this girl lives up to the fantasy you created.

 

I get this too, but IMO he is doing all of that on a more cerebral than emotional level, and that he likes to delve into it for fun while writing (cuz he's an artist, he don't look back). Personally, I don't think he's elevated this woman to an unrealistically lofty position, in reality.

 

So, welike - which are the favored cupcakes?

[welikeincrowds]

So, welike - which are the favored cupcakes?

 

I'm going to have to go all the **** way to 86th street.

 

Yeah, getting red velvet for sure. Although IMO red velvet is overrated. I say that as someone who loves chocolate. I guess it's more that I think cupcakes are overrated. I think I might hate fun.

[welikeincrowds]

And, very jealous that you saw James Blake; unfortunately he isn't touring anywhere near me.

 

And you know, I'm sorry to say that... he's way, way better live. The songs make a lot more sense in a concert environment for a lot of reasons. Maybe you should just buy a plane ticket.

[Cee]

I am happy to hear your romance had a girl movie ending.

 

You had asked how to handle expectations when they are so high. I suggest you go with the feelings of infatuation and allow yourself to feel as "in love" as you want. If your relationship is meant to go the distance, the giddy high will be supplanted with a foundation of trust, caring and love.

 

What a great story. I look forward to next installment. Congrats!

[snug.bunny]

Yeah, getting red velvet for sure. Although IMO red velvet is overrated. I say that as someone who loves chocolate. I guess it's more that I think cupcakes are overrated. I think I might hate fun.

 

Red Envelope online sells cupcakes and I've heard they are out of this world (a bit pricey though, I've sent them to family/friends, and they said they were extravagantly delictable)!

 

Maybe save those for down the road...

[welikeincrowds]

Alright, now I've got some troubles.

 

She texted me today asking about my ring size. She wants to pick me up a turquoise ring while she's in the Native American pawn shop region of the country.

 

Suddenly my cupcake gift doesn't sound so great....

 

What should I do? Should I deviate? It is still a thoughtful gift; this is specifically her favorite bakery... but it's not jewelry.

 

(P.S. I'm traveling myself atm, so I can't really spend too much time on LS, but this just came up and I would appreciate your thoughts!)

[carhill]

Gifts aren't a contest. Do what you like. Some of the best gifts I've gotten either get pissed away or end up in the poop chute. It's the thought which counts.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Stick with the plan. Get her a more solid gift when you happen to come upon one that you know is perfect for her.

 

Are you all twitterpated?

[welikeincrowds]

Gifts aren't a contest.

 

That is an excellent point.

 

Are you all twitterpated?

 

To be honest....

 

I have been doing more thinking since my last post. I've since been able to better articulate my feelings to myself. Specifically, I want to expand on my use of the word "cadaver".

 

I have been struggling with an anxiety that I dislike myself for having. I have tried to await her arrival to actually engage this thought, because otherwise I am going on nothing... but the thought keeps creeping up. In fact I feel like ES the way I've allowed this poisonous thought get to me over this time.

 

When I thought this was just going to be a bit of fun, I kept the expectations to an absolute minimum. I anticipated a crepe dinner. I did not anticipate someone with whom I could be so comfortably myself, with whom I could be rewarded for being the person I most want to be. I know that this is incredibly rare and valuable and what people live and die for, myself included. That is why I hate these thoughts that I have.

 

I live in a city where I am regularly having my attention arrested by incredibly beautiful women. The only way to not experience this is to not leave my house.

 

I think this girl is pretty, in an objective sense. For instance, if I posted a picture of her here, I'm sure you would all say "Oh yes, she is quite pretty." But for whatever A, B, C reason, she does not have that magnetic effect on me. Her body does not light mine on fire the way other women here are capable of doing at a glance.

 

With her, I have had both moments of being not especially attracted (it is difficult to write this), and moments of the opposite. It does not help that I can't really remember what she looks like, in a precise way (my memory has been heavily supplanted by Facebook photos). But again, where I live is relevant -- I am regularly struck by intense sexual attraction to perfect strangers.

 

All that said, feelings like this were overrun by other feelings that I had for her. This is the same girl I cried into a cum towel for. Thus, my reactions are confusing to me, and I don't know what to make of all of it.

 

So perhaps this elucidates the nuance behind the word "cadaver". I am completely oblivious to the level of emotional impact seeing her will have. Not only will I not know whether I'll feel the flutter of infatuation -- but I really don't know if I'll be attracted to her, on an animal level. The fear is of feeling literally nothing, and beyond that, a mild discomfort at how much nothing I'm feeling. The fear, really, is that the cadaver will not be her, but me.

 

(Not that I consciously thought any of this ahead of time, when choosing that word -- I'm just guessing at it myself. I could very well have just been being saccharine which, actually, brings me to my point....)

 

If this is a real problem, then I don't want to lead her on. If this is not a real problem -- I'm inventing it or otherwise making a big deal of something unimportant -- then I want to know.

 

The worst part is that this amounts to arbitrary nonsense. I'm sure it's the difference of a few pounds of weight, an inch or two less of height, and having a bigger chest. What kind of 21st century Western Media piece of **** am I? You stack that next to everything else I've felt for her and that is why I hate myself for having these thoughts. How horrible would she feel if she read this? And I am a firm believer of not feeling ashamed for requiring both physical and emotional satisfaction, but I've never quite experienced a conflict like this.

 

And again, since I haven't seen her in so long, I don't really know what I feel or will feel. Who knows -- I might be insanely attracted to her when I open that door. But I have done this enough times to know that uncertainty of any kind is usually not a good sign. However, I have not done this in particularly this way, and all this long distance technology **** could have really impacted the situation. I can play ping-pong like this for as long as you'd like me to.

 

So, to answer your question: I don't know.

 

EDIT: I laughed when I posted this thread and was able to see that I had written roughly 1,000 paragraphs in response to a simple yes/no question. Aren't you glad you asked?

Edited June 27, 2011 by welikeincrowds

[Mme. Chaucer]

Okay, I just reread this thread so I could refresh my memory about all that has happened here.

 

You are messing up by even allowing yourself to "go there" to the place of comparing your lust for the New York Vixens to your attraction level for her.

 

Just don't go there.

 

All those women were walking around the club where you met this girl, no doubt. But you and she were drawn together, and you really liked what ensued. Evidently she did too.

 

There is certainly a huge risk that the "magical" congruence of events around your short relationship with her will not hold up under the scrutiny of everyday life. You know this. But you are going ahead anyway, and I believe there must be a good reason for it since I don't think you are an unreasonable guy.

 

So, I think you've already committed within yourself to walk this path for a while at least, and see where it goes. You don't have to - you can call it off if you feel that is what would be right - but I am not hearing that you wish to abort the mission! So, since you are going to walk the path, don't mess it up willfully by "stinkin thinkin."

[Mme. Chaucer]

And, I've been rethinking your special plans for her return. Forget cupcakes. I suggest that the moment the cadaver (anyway, she'll be one sooner or later so might as well get used to it now) shows up at your threshold, you sweep her off to Flyrite Tattoo and get some complementary - not matching, mind you, but something really witty and in sync - ink. On your foreheads.

 

Okay?

[welikeincrowds]

And, I've been rethinking your special plans for her return. Forget cupcakes. I suggest that the moment the cadaver (anyway, she'll be one sooner or later so might as well get used to it now) shows up at your threshold, you sweep her off to Flyrite Tattoo and get some complementary - not matching, mind you, but something really witty and in sync - ink. On your foreheads.

 

Okay?

 

Like for example, she gets "Thu", and I get "gLife", and we have to remember to stand next each other from left to right?

 

And you're saying that I'm being corrupted by Lust, and that I should stop that, basically?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Like for example, she gets "Thu", and I get "gLife", and we have to remember to stand next each other from left to right?

 

GREAT plan!

 

And you're saying that I'm being corrupted by Lust, and that I should stop that, basically?

 

Kind of. Mostly, don't let it get in the way of what might or might not be about to happen with this girl. Let that happen and see where your level of attraction really lands. It's a risk ... but lots of people don't end up with their physical ideal for a partner.

[tigressA]

So is she there yet??!! What's it like??!! I NEED TO KNOW.

[welikeincrowds]

So is she there yet??!! What's it like??!! I NEED TO KNOW.

 

Yes, she is here! She went to yoga earlier, and is now finishing up dinner with some of her friends. I just finished my whey protein shake, and am now forcing myself to finish a tuna sandwich (3k a day baby). I'm also going to tidy up my place a bit, and when she comes home we are going to crawl into bed and watch Mad Men on DVD.

 

For the most part, it has been wonderful. In my previous posts I had mentioned doubts about her looks, basically. Well, this was a ****ing stupid thing to say. If I had to compare her to celebrities, I'd say she looks like a mix between Amanda Seyfried and Lindsey Lohan. She is more than beautiful.

 

Being with her brings out a very childlike side in me. She actively encourages my goofiest qualities, and at this point, we make each other laugh pretty much non-stop. We are also very affectionate with each other, constantly touching and kissing and holding whatever we can hold. I told her that being away from her and only talking with her through technology only afforded communication with my ears and vocal chords, it was as if the entire rest of my body had so much to say, and was so eager to get it all out at once, that for a while I could not keep my hands and nose and lips away from her.

 

However, all is not perfect in WLICville. The truth is, I'm still a ****, with thoughts that would hurt her if she knew about them. I still admire other women (strangers). I have eyes for others. And although she is beautiful, her body really does not have the same pull on me as other women's do. It's something I can basically overlook when we're alone -- and sex is wonderful -- but when we're out together, and I notice other women, it makes me feel horrible. I wish she were the sole subject of my sexual attention, but she's not.

 

So... what next?

 

Well, for one thing, I'm taking it easy on the expectations of this relationship. She seems to be encouraging that as well -- for instance, I went out with her and her friends last night, but only after a lot of "you really don't have to, it's not some kind of 'test', I don't want you to feel obligated", etc. The idea is to not think too much about it.

 

I really care about her in so many ways, and so it's very frustrating that there's this one "thing" in the way, that seems to amount to nothing more than a little less flesh here, a little more flesh there and there. I also know how much pressure there is on women's bodies and so that this is what I'm identifying as a cause makes me feel quite horrible if I allow myself to dwell on it.

 

At the same time, I know that "just not thinking about it" is akin to sweeping a problem under a rug. It has to be dealt with. Either I keep gazing upon her until I notice more of the beautiful, subtle, sexual things about her that are what will drive me wild, or I have to eventually succumb to what my brain is telling me I need, and go off to practice being an alpha male somewhere.

 

I don't know...

 

But yes, TigressA, other than all that it's really very wonderful. We click so amazingly well, our bodies fit together well when we're lying in bed together (and I really just mean lying), and it's nice to fall asleep next to her at night and wake up with her in the morning. We like the way each other smells. She knows things I don't know and is very bright, and she has a way about her that makes me want to have my **** together and do more things and see the world -- and I know that she has similar feelings about me, just that I impress her in different ways (douchey philosophical stuff). She helps me force whey (and other vital iron-pumping-related foods) down my throat, and I help her not feel so lost without an apartment or job. She walks with me to look at the city skyline at night and she lays with me on the beach. She looks at funny pictures and articles on the internet with me, and, unbelievably, she laughs at my jokes. And -- warning, oversharing imminent -- she cums every time we have sex and she lets me play with her *******. All other problems aside: so far, we're making a very good team. Hmmmm....

Edited July 4, 2011 by welikeincrowds

[GildedLily]

Yes, she is here! She went to yoga earlier, and is now finishing up dinner with some of her friends. I just finished my whey protein shake, and am now forcing myself to finish a tuna sandwich (3k a day baby). I'm also going to tidy up my place a bit, and when she comes home we are going to crawl into bed and watch Mad Men on DVD.

 

For the most part, it has been wonderful. In my previous posts I had mentioned doubts about her looks, basically. Well, this was a ****ing stupid thing to say. If I had to compare her to celebrities, I'd say she looks like a mix between Amanda Seyfried and Lindsey Lohan. She is more than beautiful.

 

Being with her brings out a very childlike side in me. She actively encourages my goofiest qualities, and at this point, we make each other laugh pretty much non-stop. We are also very affectionate with each other, constantly touching and kissing and holding whatever we can hold. I told her that being away from her and only talking with her through technology only afforded communication with my ears and vocal chords, it was as if the entire rest of my body had so much to say, and was so eager to get it all out at once, that for a while I could not keep my hands and nose and lips away from her.

 

However, all is not perfect in WLICville. The truth is, I'm still a ****, with thoughts that would hurt her if she knew about them. I still admire other women (strangers). I have eyes for others. And although she is beautiful, her body really does not have the same pull on me as other women's do. It's something I can basically overlook when we're alone -- and sex is wonderful -- but when we're out together, and I notice other women, it makes me feel horrible. I wish she were the sole subject of my sexual attention, but she's not.

 

So... what next?

 

Well, for one thing, I'm taking it easy on the expectations of this relationship. She seems to be encouraging that as well -- for instance, I went out with her and her friends last night, but only after a lot of "you really don't have to, it's not some kind of 'test', I don't want you to feel obligated", etc. The idea is to not think too much about it.

 

I really care about her in so many ways, and so it's very frustrating that there's this one "thing" in the way, that seems to amount to nothing more than a little less flesh here, a little more flesh there and there. I also know how much pressure there is on women's bodies and so that this is what I'm identifying as a cause makes me feel quite horrible if I allow myself to dwell on it.

 

At the same time, I know that "just not thinking about it" is akin to sweeping a problem under a rug. It has to be dealt with. Either I keep gazing upon her until I notice more of the beautiful, subtle, sexual things about her that are what will drive me wild, or I have to eventually succumb to what my brain is telling me I need, and go off to practice being an alpha male somewhere.

 

I don't know...

 

But yes, TigressA, other than all that it's really very wonderful. We click so amazingly well, our bodies fit together well when we're lying in bed together (and I really just mean lying), and it's nice to fall asleep next to her at night and wake up with her in the morning. We like the way each other smells. She knows things I don't know and is very bright, and she has a way about her that makes me want to have my **** together and do more things and see the world -- and I know that she has similar feelings about me, just that I impress her in different ways (douchey philosophical stuff). She helps me force whey (and other vital iron-pumping-related foods) down my throat, and I help her not feel so lost without an apartment or job. She walks with me to look at the city skyline at night and she lays with me on the beach. She looks at funny pictures and articles on the internet with me, and, unbelievably, she laughs at my jokes. And -- warning, oversharing imminent -- she cums every time we have sex and she lets me play with her *******. All other problems aside: so far, we're making a very good team. Hmmmm....

 

So what body type do you like exactly? (ie drives you wild to where you wouldn't look to strangers) describe; use a celebrity..and what is hers like? I'm trying to ascertain if its truly a huge difference in the type you like and the type she has.

[tigressA]

Siiiiiigh. I'm so happy. :love::bunny: For you, I mean. Happy for you.

 

That's all I can really say as I'm drunk right now. It's wonderful! Enjoy it! :bunny:

[Eternal Sunshine]

I am curious welike, in what way is her body not your ideal? Is she a bit chubby? Wrong proportions? Too small/big boobs?

[Eternal Sunshine]

P.S. In many ways my bf is not my physical ideal - and I had similar concerns at the start. Now I feel so deeply in love that nothing really matters.

[cerridwen]

Yes, she is here! She went to yoga earlier, and is now finishing up dinner with some of her friends. I just finished my whey protein shake, and am now forcing myself to finish a tuna sandwich (3k a day baby). I'm also going to tidy up my place a bit, and when she comes home we are going to crawl into bed and watch Mad Men on DVD.

 

For the most part, it has been wonderful. In my previous posts I had mentioned doubts about her looks, basically. Well, this was a ****ing stupid thing to say. If I had to compare her to celebrities, I'd say she looks like a mix between Amanda Seyfried and Lindsey Lohan. She is more than beautiful.

 

Being with her brings out a very childlike side in me. She actively encourages my goofiest qualities, and at this point, we make each other laugh pretty much non-stop. We are also very affectionate with each other, constantly touching and kissing and holding whatever we can hold. I told her that being away from her and only talking with her through technology only afforded communication with my ears and vocal chords, it was as if the entire rest of my body had so much to say, and was so eager to get it all out at once, that for a while I could not keep my hands and nose and lips away from her.

 

However, all is not perfect in WLICville. The truth is, I'm still a ****, with thoughts that would hurt her if she knew about them. I still admire other women (strangers). I have eyes for others. And although she is beautiful, her body really does not have the same pull on me as other women's do. It's something I can basically overlook when we're alone -- and sex is wonderful -- but when we're out together, and I notice other women, it makes me feel horrible. I wish she were the sole subject of my sexual attention, but she's not.

 

So... what next?

 

Well, for one thing, I'm taking it easy on the expectations of this relationship. She seems to be encouraging that as well -- for instance, I went out with her and her friends last night, but only after a lot of "you really don't have to, it's not some kind of 'test', I don't want you to feel obligated", etc. The idea is to not think too much about it.

 

I really care about her in so many ways, and so it's very frustrating that there's this one "thing" in the way, that seems to amount to nothing more than a little less flesh here, a little more flesh there and there. I also know how much pressure there is on women's bodies and so that this is what I'm identifying as a cause makes me feel quite horrible if I allow myself to dwell on it.

 

At the same time, I know that "just not thinking about it" is akin to sweeping a problem under a rug. It has to be dealt with. Either I keep gazing upon her until I notice more of the beautiful, subtle, sexual things about her that are what will drive me wild, or I have to eventually succumb to what my brain is telling me I need, and go off to practice being an alpha male somewhere.

 

I don't know...

 

But yes, TigressA, other than all that it's really very wonderful. We click so amazingly well, our bodies fit together well when we're lying in bed together (and I really just mean lying), and it's nice to fall asleep next to her at night and wake up with her in the morning. We like the way each other smells. She knows things I don't know and is very bright, and she has a way about her that makes me want to have my **** together and do more things and see the world -- and I know that she has similar feelings about me, just that I impress her in different ways (douchey philosophical stuff). She helps me force whey (and other vital iron-pumping-related foods) down my throat, and I help her not feel so lost without an apartment or job. She walks with me to look at the city skyline at night and she lays with me on the beach. She looks at funny pictures and articles on the internet with me, and, unbelievably, she laughs at my jokes. And -- warning, oversharing imminent -- she cums every time we have sex and she lets me play with her *******. All other problems aside: so far, we're making a very good team. Hmmmm....

 

This is so great! Some romance! :bunny: Even if she's not physically perfect in your eyes, even if there's a bit of doubt, that you are happy, that she is happy, is wonderful to hear.