xrosaax Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 Hey, I'm not sure whether I am posting this on the right forum. This is my first time post. I have been wanting my boyfriend to proper for over a year & it's driving me mad. We have a 11 month old daughter together (who was planned) and have been together for 3 years. He told me that he'd only marry after having a child, so I agreed. His mum & dad then got divorced and since then to me it seems like he's just putting it off. We are the only couple that arn't engaged or married. I just feel that I'm being strung along and to be honest not really sure what I should do. Has anyone else been in this situation? Am I just wasteing my time? Thanks Rosa. Link to post Share on other sites
Noahs_grandma2011 Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 (edited) HI Rosa... Hun..unfortunately...ur not alone...I have been with my ummm BOYFRIEND for 10 years! Ive known him since i was 9! We were bestfriends growing up..then he left to college...i stayed in chicago and finished highschool and hsd a baby by my highschool sweetheart. A few months into my pregnancy i left my childs dad because he cheated. A year later i was dating an old friend. We were together for 11 years and we had two beautiful daughters together. But sadly behond my back he was losing himself to crack cocaine...imy collegebound friend was always tryn to open my eyes about what he was doing but i was to Blind to accept it... Eventually i ended up leaving him..i was devastated fhat my second relationship was no better than the first... For years my childhood best friend was always there to protect me and help me with my girls...one thing led to another and we started seeing eachother and in no time found myself madlybin love with hom! HOW I DIDNT LOVE HIM LIKE THIS BEFORE IS BEYOND ME...He has all the qualities every woman wants and needs on a man! HE WAS SINGLE...COLLEGE GRADUATE...POLICE ACADEMY GRADUATE...OWNED HOS OWN HOME...BECAME A POLICE OFFICER...GENEROUS. INTELLIGENT..GIVING...HONEST...BUT HE WAS NOT EVER MARRIED NOR DID HE HAVE ANY CHILDREN SO IT BLEW MY MIND WHEN HE CHOSE TO BE MY BOYFRIEND...I COULD NO LONGER HAVE CHILDREN...(CUT MY TUBES). But that didnt matter to him. He knw that from the very beginning. After what i thought was the longest any of his relationships lasted (5 years)...he wants to have a baby! But yet i have no ring...not married and i guess he expected me to just go umder a knife to make him a dad! We have now been together 10 yrs! Still...no ring..no marriage and now IM A GRANDMA! BUT he still ants me to have his child! When i speak to him about marriage he says alot goes into getting married...then he says the reason k have no ring is because he is trying to pay down the things he had to pay for when he remodeled the inside of his home...I moved in with him last July...and i dont feel any closer to getting at least a ring than he is to even giving it to me...i feel my man is just full of excuses! It may just be time to pack my things and go...just because he doesnt think marriage is necessary doesnt mean i have to do without...i cook n clean and work a full time job and all of his needs are met daily! I guess its true what they say...Why BUY THE WHOLE COW WHEN UR GETTING THE MILK FOR FREE!!!.I deserve what i want...maybe me leaving will make him see that u really dont know what u have til its gone! I BLAME MYSELF...FOR GIVING SOOO MUCH SOOO SOON TO WHERE HE HAS GOTTEN COMPLACENT WITH JUST HAVING ME THERE AS A WANNABE WIFE!!!.IT TIME TO PUSH OUT OF THIS PLACE AND GET WHAT I AS A GOOD WOMAN DESERVE! AND SO SHUD U!!! ROSA...Hope my story helped u out some... Edited May 16, 2011 by Noahs_grandma2011 Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Hey, I'm not sure whether I am posting this on the right forum. This is my first time post. I have been wanting my boyfriend to proper for over a year & it's driving me mad. We have a 11 month old daughter together (who was planned) and have been together for 3 years. He told me that he'd only marry after having a child, so I agreed. His mum & dad then got divorced and since then to me it seems like he's just putting it off. We are the only couple that arn't engaged or married. I just feel that I'm being strung along and to be honest not really sure what I should do. Has anyone else been in this situation? Am I just wasteing my time? Thanks Rosa. What??? That's rediculous...almost like a twisted form of blackmail. Marriage should not be conditional upon anything, it should be because two people don't want to be without each other. I'm so sorry, but your chances do not look good. Your boyfriend will continue to find things that "need to happen" before getting married. Marriage proposal aside, I'd be pissed off about the fact that he tricked you into having a baby with him. It shows he's not trustworthy. Do not deny him his daughter, but seriously consider moving on without him. Good luck, and I'm so sorry you are going through this. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 He told me that he'd only marry after having a child, so I agreed. Sorry OP but this is a horrible idea! You had a child with him so that he'd marry you?? Yikes! Is he at least a good father to the child? I'm sorry but I think you would have been better off waiting for a man who wants to marry you, then having a child. Unless your bf is a really loving, amazing, devoted partner, I would start re-thinking the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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