WTF? What makes me sick about all these stupid porn discussions

[Sundaymorning]

I like the International male catalogue...

 

 

All I can say now is.....TAKE THOSE UNDIES OFF MEN!

 

 

Signed,

the perverted Sundaymorning...who is feeling like if her bf saw this, he would be like

[Sundaymorning]

Originally posted by Darkangelism

Porn is a tool of masturbation, like a vibrator, there is no emotional attachment, it just is an aid, when i watch porn i am not thinking about wanting to be the women, just thinking about a girl i like doing it to me.

 

 

hehehe, yeah right. I have friends who name their vibrators. They like to "play with Jim" alot. Shoot, Jim likes to eat with her...

[Juggs]

Just started watching "Real Sex" (I think that was the name of it) on HBO.... What an awesome documentary show on sex! I highly recommend it to everyone...

 

I think, yet again, that it is a perspective thing as far as watching porn goes. Women are more mentally stimulated where as men tend to (as it has been stated by many others here) get a full-on salute when the wind blows the right way.

 

Women tend to be very touchy about things like porn and strip clubs and such because we don't always understand the male perspective. I don't feel that it is an insult to me at all if my husband watches porn or goes to a strip club.... I know he does not have feelings for these women.... He just likes to watch them shake what they got... He comes home to me, he goes to sleep next to me, he cuddles with me, he loves me.

 

And also women are under a lot of pressure to look perfect. I can see how some women would be quite hurt or feel very insecure knowing their man watches the beautiful women in porn rather then seek satisfaction with their mate. But I think this is something that should be spelled out and the line drawn in the sand before marriage because it's not fare to ask a man to stop doing what he has always done after the fact.

 

There is plenty of porn out there for women, but honestly.... I don't like watching men naked having sex... I prefer hot love scenes in regular movies.... stuff that leaves something to the imagination. Something a little less animalistic...

[moimeme]

Porn is a tool of masturbation, like a vibrator, there is no emotional attachment, it just is an aid, when i watch porn i am not thinking about wanting to be the women, just thinking about a girl i like doing it to me.

 

EXACTLY! Thanks, DA

[Darkangelism]

Originally posted by Sundaymorning

 

 

 

hehehe, yeah right. I have friends who name their vibrators. They like to "play with Jim" alot. Shoot, Jim likes to eat with her...

 

That is more attachment then men have to porn.

[moimeme]

I like this International male catalogue...

 

Unfortunately, it'll probably be taken down because it's a commercial site. In fact almost all those sites have quite a bit of commercial stuff on it so posting links would be futile anyway.

 

the perverted Sundaymorning...who is feeling like if her bf saw this, he would be like

 

See? You think it's 'perverted' to look at a catalogue

[Sundaymorning]

Originally posted by moimeme

I like this International male catalogue...

 

Unfortunately, it'll probably be taken down because it's a commercial site. In fact almost all those sites have quite a bit of commercial stuff on it so posting links would be futile anyway.

 

the perverted Sundaymorning...who is feeling like if her bf saw this, he would be like

 

See? You think it's 'perverted' to look at a catalogue

 

 

I guess cause I would not want his feelings hurt or for him to feel like I desire these men. Goodness knows he does not do this, so why would I....I guess, well, I dunno. Do not want to hurt his feelings. And this looking at the catalogue is not a need, its just all in good fun, that can and will stop if he asked me to.

[magda]

I think different guys have different porn habits as far as frequency and the type they watch, so you can't say they're all innocent and any girl who has any sort of problem with it is all guilty. I think in most cases it's probably insecurity but there's usually a reason for insecurity - whether it's from her relationship with the same guy who is watching the porn or if it's from past guys who've cheated, issues with her body, etc.

 

My boyfriend mentioned, totally out of the blue with no prying from me, that when we got together he deleted all the porn off of his computer because he didn't need it/want it anymore. I never would've asked him to do such a thing, so I guess if I find some someday I'll assume that he wants it/needs it now, after all. So that will probably hurt a little, that I'm not the ultimate sex goddess, after all. I do expect it eventually.. For right now, he says I'm his every fantasy. No other woman cuts it. Because he says this, it would be a direct contradiction to see him watching porn, and for that reason it would hurt a little. But it's probably just reality that I can't be his everything fantasy... still, if he hadn't said that, it would be easier if/when that time comes.

 

As far as insecurity being "her issue, not his" well, i disagree. He's in a relationship with a girl with those issues. They're his issues. She might be way over-reacting and I don't doubt that for many women that is the case, but that's what he got himself into. He needs to either break up, make her feel more secure, or keep his porn habits a secret because for her it's a problem that isn't going to go away. And guys are clueless... Maybe she wouldn't be so insecure if he didn't sometimes have a wandering eye, didn't seem to flirt, initiated more sex with her, who knows. (I'm NOT saying "it's not her problem" I'm just saying it's a 2-way street. If she's got body issues she should improve herself, if she's got self-esteem issues she should improve herself, sex issues, relationships issues - there's always room for improvement.) Some women, no matter how hard they try, are never going to be confident - especially in comparison to her husbands favorite pornstar. Not going to happen. He's going to have to deal with that. I doubt he's got all his issues squared away either, and that's probably why they're togeter.

[moimeme]

or for him to feel like I desire these men

 

Of course! And you would tell him that you don't. And, one hopes, he would believe you. You see where I'm going with this?

[Sundaymorning]

Originally posted by moimeme

or for him to feel like I desire these men

 

Of course! And you would tell him that you don't. And, one hopes, he would believe you. You see where I'm going with this?

 

 

yes. POint being : women over analyze things......men do not. WHERE ON EARTH were we taught to overanalyze? seriously? I keep wondering where on earth i learned it!!

[Darkangelism]

Originally posted by Sundaymorning

 

 

 

I guess cause I would not want his feelings hurt or for him to feel like I desire these men. Goodness knows he does not do this, so why would I....I guess, well, I dunno. Do not want to hurt his feelings. And this looking at the catalogue is not a need, its just all in good fun, that can and will stop if he asked me to.

 

 

HE wouldnt get his feelings hurt, he most likely would be like so whats the big deal. Its not like you are cheating on him.

[Juggs]

We are thinkers, man......

[zarathustra]

Absolutely true, magda.

 

This "debate" makes absolutely no sense when porn is ripped out of the context of the specific relationship. In some relationships, porn is about more, much more, than "APPEARANCE."

 

Discussions about porn in a relationship vacuum usually degenerate in no time to those who chorus: porn is good or neutral, and the woman's insecurity, prudishness, controlling nature is the problem; and those who proclaim: a husband's porn viewing is evil, cheating, nasty and direspectful, and the woman is the innocent victim.

 

The posts make for great rhetoric, at least initially. After a while, simple minded absolutes become boring.

 

Context matters.

[moimeme]

We are thinkers, man......

 

ooo! Now the battle begins! LOL

 

Yes, we are, but a lot of people are, it seems, pretty bad at testing their thoughts and ideas against reason; i.e.

'am I being reasonable about this?'

[Sundaymorning]

Originally posted by Darkangelism

HE wouldnt get his feelings hurt, he most likely would be like so whats the big deal. Its not like you are cheating on him.

 

 

 

wrong!

His feelings would not get as hurt as mine would, but he would be like , what is up with this?

[moimeme]

wrong!

 

See? Again - the man tells you how he feels and you call him a liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

This is exactly the reason I see behind all these porn problems. Men say it's no big deal and women refuse to believe them.

[Sundaymorning]

Originally posted by moimeme

wrong!

 

See? Again - the man tells you how he feels and you call him a liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

haha you are wrong. I tell him HE IS WRONG because HE does not know MY boyfriend. Only I do on this forum, therefore can almost accuratly tell you what his feeling or reaction will be.

[Darkangelism]

Well the guys i know dont care if their gfs look at that.

[Sundaymorning]

Originally posted by Darkangelism

Well the guys i know dont care if their gfs look at that.

 

let us not generalize all males.

[moimeme]

let us not generalize all males.

 

Yes. Let's not.

[zarathustra]

let us not generalize

 

 

What do we do, then?

[moimeme]

Believe in and trust your partner. That is, if he has given you no reason not to.

 

Which segues back to the point of this thread. Men tell their wives they love them and that the porn does not negate their love for their wives, but women don't believe it, apparently because they think that lust always trumps love and that the men lust after the porn women rather than them. Whe the men tell them this is not the case, the women don't believe it. And no, not a generalization; it's a theory on why the people who get into such battles over porn do so and pertains to them.

[zarathustra]

I deem chronic, oppositional spousal porn consumption to be a species of infidelity committed by passive-aggressive, hostile husbands. Their goal is not just to get off. Rather, these pornboys wants to get off at the expense of their loving wives' self-image, feelings of self-worth, and love. Pornboy orgasms trump their marriages.

 

 

Porn is the marital WMD.

[HokeyReligions]

What makes me sick about these discussions, well it doesn't make me sick--I actually find them somewhat interesting, but what makes me tire of them sometimes is because there is no end. There is no right or wrong that can be applied to everyone, or even to the majority. Men don't listen to women. Women don't listen to men. Sometimes we don't even listen to ourselves!

 

 

A little off topic, but I was reminded of this:

During the last few weeks as my husband and I are talking about sex and learning some new things, we went online to search for some items that the doctor recommended. He did not have websites or references as to where we could purchase these items. Well, we searched through a multitude of porn sites - with pictures and snippets of video on the introductory screen. I've seen more pornography material in the last few weeks than I ever wanted to see.

 

Well, in our computer room we have shelves near the ceiling and on these shelves are mementos from our childhood. An original erector set, games from the 1950's, old cameras (the room is done nostalgia-style with old movie posters, etc.) Anyway, on the shelf is sitting the puppet Lamb Chop (anyone remember that?) Well, after looking at all these dildos and penises, etc. I leaned back and stretched and looked up and hanging over the edge of the shelf were Lamb Chop's legs and feet ---looking exactly like two dildos! I'd never seen it that way before.

 

We were also watching Willy Wonka on TV one day and if you look at the scene with all the grandparents in bed, the headboard looks like the silhouette of breasts - with erect nipples.

 

Since we have begun our odyssey to find the instructional movies (instruction on how to safely have sex for handicapped people) we have been so inundated that we now see sexual images everywhere. I can only imagine how constant porn viewing affects people. I don't think it is quite as harmless as I used to think.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by Fedup&givingup

Also, I've been turned down plenty by Mr. Virtual-Sex-Video-Viewing SON OF A B*TCH, and THAT is a problem in itself.

Every porn-watcher's SO who feels that the reason they are being turned down for sex is BECAUSE of porn is doing themselves a disservice, it's delusional. A preference to porn over sex is a SYMPTOM of intimacy issues, not a cause.

 

Some people just refuse to take responsibility for things.

 

And I can't believe some people are actually naive enough to think that there's no male porn out there, I'm not even ever looking for it, and it's everywhere.