WTF? What makes me sick about all these stupid porn discussions

[moimeme]

First off, I would like to nominate Moimeme for "Loveshack Woman of the Year"

 

Thank you kindly!

 

 

But she's a disingenuous liberal who's so far outside the mainstream...

 

disingenuous?

 

 

Not straightforward or candid; insincere or calculating: “an ambitious, disingenuous, philistine, and hypocritical operator, who... exemplified... the most disagreeable traits of his time” (David Cannadine).

 

dictionary.com

 

[Grinning Maniac]

Originally posted by Caroli

The point of my post was not to say that you thought that she was doing that for you. The point of my post was to show that if that is a turn you on for you that doesn’t matter. She is doing that for her and that is something in which you are not going to participate in most of the cases. You know, she and her vibrator, you are out of the picture. I don't think that she cares if you get turn on by that or not.

 

I understood the point you were making. My point is that I don't CARE if she cares or not about me being turned on by it. What I'm saying is, most men think women masturbating is a turn on, while for some reason it seems to be a turn off to women that WE masturbate.

 

Got it now?

[sinner]

Ah, Olivia, you still don't get it do you? To the pornboys and porngirls on LS, porn isn't the problem. Your porn addled husband isn't the problem. The problem, my dear, lies deep inside you. You selfishly expect your mate not to substitute porn-aided masturbation for mutual sexual relations with you. You're a controlling bit#h who expects your husband to honor his word when he promises you that he'll have sex with you instead of his right hand sitting in front of a monitor.

 

You must learn to let boys be boys...

[Caroli]

Originally posted by Grinning Maniac

I understood the point you were making. My point is that I don't CARE if she cares or not about me being turned on by it. What I'm saying is, most men think women masturbating is a turn on, while for some reason it seems to be a turn off to women that WE masturbate.

 

Got it now?

 

I got it, thank you for your interest in making me understand

 

For me a guy masturbating is a turn on. But a guy masturbating about porn (especially my bf) constantly is just something that can not do anything for me.

 

and I wonder sometimes why some guys want to watch his girlfriends/wives having sex with other man.

[Grinning Maniac]

Sinner: Bah! No, Olivia's husband has an actual problem. I'm not even arguing that. Her husband is a true porn addict and he and Olivia seem to have gone through quite a struggle over it. He is an exception to the rule. I just have a beef with the women who get pissed of at guys casually masterbating to porn at ALL because they feel it makes them feel ugly or something.

 

 

Caroli: Ok, but do we masturbate to anything BUT porn typically? I know I don't. It's kind of a catch-22! *laughs*

 

But yeah, anything done to excess is bad. Also...people wanting to watch their women get banged by other guys are messed up in the head, I think.

[moimeme]

I should ask the mods to change the title to add 'THIS THREAD IS NOT ABOUT PORN ADDICTIONS'

[Grinning Maniac]

Yeah, definately lol.

 

I suppose the topic was destined to drift here though, even though I would prefer to hear more about women's problems with the average guy who digs porn.

[Olivia_19742004]

Thank you Sinner for that clarification. How stupid of me. I should have realized this all along.

 

(sarcasm is the best. Thanks Sinner )

[tigeress]

[font=arial][/font][color=red][/color] I think what many are forgetting is that so many amateur sites have popped up on the internet. These women are not porn stars but regular gals. They also make it clear they are available for fun. And many of the guys who view them correspond with them also. I think this is why the porn has become such an issue for women.

 

I know I'd rather my husband look at playboy than at these amateur sites. It definitely depends on the type of porn and how it is being used and how it affects the sexual relationship of the couple involved that is the issue.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by tigeress

They also make it clear they are available for fun. And many of the guys who view them correspond with them also. I think this is why the porn has become such an issue for women.

I don't know enough about it to determine whether this is indeed prevalent, but regardless, its' defintely not the most common porn problem articulated on LS. In fact, what you're describing is an entirely different problem--when you begin to correspond intimately with the girls, you're stepping outside the boundaries of the relationship, and I think it's a way bigger case for the infidelity arguement than masturbation to nameless bodies on a computer screen.

[RoboHobo]

I don't know how relevant this is any more, I had to jump to the end after page 17504.

 

I personally don't like porn, I feel that it is degrading to women, all they are turned into is an object that is meant to please them. As a guy I know that a lot of guys do watch or look at porn, and this has warped their sense of what a woman is. For them, okay most of them not all, the female becomes an object an nothing more. I agree with an earlier comment from honey, it perverts your view of the world. The viewer doesn't look at porn to release sexual tension, they look at it to create it, and it makes them feel empowered. Guys are seen as dogs for a reason, most of them are. Not all but most.

 

Okay this is just my opinion, but isn't sex supposed to be an intimate and fun experience between two people who want to share themselves with each other completely? Sure sometimes we get a huge rush of hormones that excite us, and at time sex just isn't a possibility and so masturbation re-leaves the frustration. Some people prefer to ignore the feelings and concentrate their energy on other tasks with is just as fine. Why go and watch some thing that is going to make you horny if you are currently mellow? If you are horny do you really need to look at porn for stimulation to find relief?

 

We can all admire a beautiful body, male or female, but why does it have to go beyond appreciation? If a girl or guy has a great body can't we appreciate it in the same way that we would a gorgeous sunset or beautiful flower? I studied art and as such I had to draw many nude females, but there was never any sexual tension because of it. Bodies in all shapes and sizes are all equally beautiful. I think its because the body is how the mind interacts with the world. It gives us clues to what is in the persons mind.

 

I guess my point is if you are itchy there is no need to look at feathers before scratching the itch. I would never ever think of anyone besides my ex in a sexual context because for me sex is about sharing myself with the person completely, and only the person who I love deserves that much from me. I'm not by any means saying that I am innocent, curiosity get the better of most of us, but the very little I did she was enough to put me off. Besides in my eyes my ex is far better than any beauty queen or porn star, and she always will be.

 

Perhaps I'm just weird, but it's my opinion. Take it or leave it.

[Butterfly_Queen]

I read a few posts but not all, too many..lol..Alot of the time people that view porn alot, its not even about sex, its about something alot more deep rooted that may be going on in their lives. If someone has already posted this, sorry didn't read all the posts. Just my 2 cents.

 

 

________________________

 

All that glitters, isn't always gold!

[InmannRoshi]

The viewer doesn't look at porn to release sexual tension, they look at it to create it, and it makes them feel empowered.

 

Thanks for telling me what goes through my head.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by RoboHobo

Okay this is just my opinion, but isn't sex supposed to be an intimate and fun experience between two people who want to share themselves with each other completely?

You're making the same mistake that women have countless times. You're confusing masturbation, a personal relief of chemical tension, with sex, a mutual celebration of intimacy.

Some people prefer to ignore the feelings and concentrate their energy on other tasks with is just as fine. Why go and watch some thing that is going to make you horny if you are currently mellow? If you are horny do you really need to look at porn for stimulation to find relief?

You're really a guy? Honestly? You've gotten an erection and said, "Oh dear, my pants are getting tight, I think I'm going to go knit a shawl."

[sinner]

Hey, I like to knit, dyer.

[dyermaker]

Erect?

[sinner]

Only semi...

[RoboHobo]

dyermaker: I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with masturbation, I know the difference between it and sex. If you read my post again you will see that I don't have a problem with masturbation. What I am saying is that if you are erect and ready to go do you really need porn to help you? Yeah, I am a guy. If I feel frustrated I can feel just as relaxed after play sport as another might after masturbation. No knitting wouldn't do it for me. This is the case with most of my friends as well. If not sport then another hobby. Some people don't agree with masturbation, for them it's their will-power that they rely on. I say good for them, if it works for them it doesn't make them any more or less human in my eyes. But as I said before, I'm not against masturbation.

 

InmannRoshi: I'm sorry if I offended you. I generalized from my experience of what guys have said in conversation. I went to a boys only high school and the topic came up often in the time I was there and that was the opinion of many. Sure, there are some who are different, there always will be.

 

About it making the viewer feel empowered, that is part of the lure of pornography. I doubt how willing you will be to perform if it made you feel worthless. Look at the headlines and listen to the dialog, tell me that it isn't created to give the reader/viewer power over the model. "She's waiting for you to watch her do what ever you want" and "Yeah b****, do me like...." aren't exactly statements that empower women. It degrades them and makes them seem more obtainable in my opinion. Okay, it's only an illusion of power, but all it has to be is an illusion. What about the difference between nude and naked. A person who is nude still maintains their power, and a person who is naked has had their power taken from them. It's not about building one person up, it's about bringing another down to give the illusion of power.

 

I don't think I'm being unrealistic if I say that most people will become curious and see porn once or twice, but for it to become such a big part of someone's life seems kind of wrong to me.

 

It doesn't matter if it's male or female pornography, it's always the viewer that is most important because he or she is the one with the money. I'm not trying to insult anyone, do what you feel is right for you. I was just giving my point of view.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by RoboHobo

dyermaker: I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with masturbation, I know the difference between it and sex. If you read my post again you will see that I don't have a problem with masturbation.

You brought up the intimacy of sex--all I was saying is that sex is completely different from masturbation and they shouldn't be compared like that, as, in terms of intimacy, masturbation would be on the same plane as urination or itch-scratching in terms of intimate actions.

[Olivia_19742004]

You brought up the intimacy of sex--all I was saying is that sex is completely different from masturbation and they shouldn't be compared like that, as, in terms of intimacy, masturbation would be on the same plane as urination or itch-scratching in terms of intimate actions.

 

You keep pointing out the difference between sexual intimacy and masturbation as though there isn't any relation between the two. However, I have yet to see an explanation of what you mean when you say sexual intimacy. Maybe you could explain how you're interpreting the term and it would be easier to understand your point.

 

As it stands now you're equating masturbation with urinating and my husband urinating every night didn't deprive me of sexual contact. His masturbating to porn every night did.

 

When he stopped for two weeks he had an erection every day. Multiple times a day. And a nice libido that he claimed never existed. There is a correlation between sex drive and masturbation and if you have no sex drive you have no sexual contact and if you have no sexual contact you have no sexual intimacy.

[sinner]

As it stands now you're equating masturbation with urinating and my husband urinating every night didn't deprive me of sexual contact. His masturbating to porn every night did.

 

When he stopped for two weeks he had an erection every day. Multiple times a day. And a nice libido that he claimed never existed. There is a correlation between sex drive and masturbation and if you have no sex drive you have no sexual contact and if you have no sexual contact you have no sexual intimacy.

 

 

Olivia, I salute you. An absolutely brilliant rebuttal.

 

Checkmate.

[Olivia_19742004]

Olivia, I salute you. An absolutely brilliant rebuttal.

 

Why thank you, Sinner

[Mr Spock]

Everyone's situation is different Olivia. Obviously, your husband pounding one out once a day decreased his libido. My ex could masturbate (and did) multiple times daily and still be good to go. I think all we can do is go with what we feel-if you're being ignored for porn, that's not good. But if he's got a few spank magazines tucked away for when he gets the need to do some self loving I don't see anything wrong with that. It's more honest than reading the sears catalouge underwear section in the bathroom.

[Olivia_19742004]

Everyone's situation is different Olivia. Obviously, your husband pounding one out once a day decreased his libido. My ex could masturbate (and did) multiple times daily and still be good to go. I think all we can do is go with what we feel-if you're being ignored for porn, that's not good. But if he's got a few spank magazines tucked away for when he gets the need to do some self loving I don't see anything wrong with that. It's more honest than reading the sears catalouge underwear section in the bathroom.

 

 

I think I've been quite consistent in my debate regarding porn as a natural part of life. I think it's perfectly healthy to take a look an porn and masturbate if one so desires. I think the biggest issue I have is that many men/women have experienced the normal side of pornography. They have experienced it in a way so that it didn't have a negative affect on the relationship. Under those terms, I agree with the argument that there is nothing wrong with viewing porn and masturbating.

 

However, what some aren't recognizing is that some of us that are experiencing porn in our lives aren't experiencing the normal healthy side of it. We are experiencing the negative affects and it's having quite an impact on our relationships.

 

If someone came on here and said their husband was drinking three times a week after work with some friends no one would claim that this person was an alcoholic. However if someone came on here and stated that their husband was drinking every single day, multiple times a day, neglecting his wife and hiding his alcohol, most would claim he was an alcoholic. Now consider instead of alcohol it's porn.

 

Viewing porn so that it doesn't affect your relationship is acceptable. Viewing porn to the degree that it affects your relationships isn't. Why is that so hard to understand? We're not talking about our lover just picking up a magazine once in a while to get off. We're talking about our lover masturbating daily over long periods of time. Years! So much to the point that they have very blatantly chosen masturbation to shared sexual contact.

[Mr Spock]

I do agree Oliva. I think this post may have been started on the one poster who didn't want her BF masturbating at all, much less to porn... which I found silly. She felt it was an insult to her.