WTF? What makes me sick about all these stupid porn discussions

[moimeme]

KD - to be unimpressed that ANYONE can claim she knows what all men think and to make a remark to that effect is not an 'attack'. I could have said it much less kindly, but basically to think you know what every man thinks is inane.

 

I did not answer for myself, either, KD. I said, in exactly these words, Go back and read the men's answers to this question and pay attention to what they said. And maybe, just maybe, believe they are being honest.

 

What you are mad at is that you think they desire the women, possibly more than you. The men say this is not the case. THAT is the point I am getting at.

[ThisGirlNameKD]

Well said Jenk. I know alot of guys that don't like porn.

[Fedup&givingup]

Originally posted by moimeme

KD - to be unimpressed that ANYONE can claim she knows what all men think and to make a remark to that effect is not an 'attack'. I could have said it much less kindly, but basically to think you know what every man thinks is inane.

 

I did not answer for myself, either, KD. I said, in exactly these words, Go back and read the men's answers to this question and pay attention to what they said. And maybe, just maybe, believe they are being honest.

 

What you are mad at is that you think they desire the women, possibly more than you. The men say this is not the case. THAT is the point I am getting at.

 

But isn't it you, Moi that suggested to find out why men view pornography, AND yet with the same breath you are already petitioning that you yourself know WHY they view it, thus defending them, saying it's harmless. How would YOU know it's harmless if you are also not a mind reader and already allude to the fact that YOU know why they view it?

 

And who are you to assume that you know why someone else is mad, per sae? I think that sounds like YOU being a mind reader yourself.

 

Realize and accept the fact that not everyone thinks the same way you do, and realize and accept the fact that because they don't, they aren't inferior to you.

[ThisGirlNameKD]

And my point is that all men don't feel that "that is the case". Some men do actually want the other woman. Every man in the world is not answering this post, so it's pretty hard to assume that all men feel like the guys that are posting here.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by Fedup&givingup

The fact is that for me, I find it destructive to a relationship, because the man is reliant upon something ELSE, which is also someone else to bring sexual satisfaction.

Oh, bullcrap. He's not reliant upon something else, I'd love to see a man get sexual satisfaction from watching porn with his hands in the air. Porn is a tool. If your man listened to music while he worked on the car, is he reliant on the music?

 

Porn-watchers are reliant on their hands. Not on movies, nor actresses. YOU can't accept that it's a personal thing, it's pure thought control.

[End of my rope]

Originally posted by dyermaker

Oh, bullcrap. He's not reliant upon something else, I'd love to see a man get sexual satisfaction from watching porn with his hands in the air. Porn is a tool. If your man listened to music while he worked on the car, is he reliant on the music?

 

Porn-watchers are reliant on their hands. Not on movies, nor actresses. YOU can't accept that it's a personal thing, it's pure thought control.

 

If it's pure thought control then why does he need to watch the porn? Can't he just think it up instead?

[Darkangelism]

its more work, this is a idea maker, hell sometimes i just listen to the moaning, makes my faantasies more real.

[GeorgiaSongbird]

Originally posted by UCFKevin

But you just don't and can't understand it, moi.

 

They should want ME instead of watching porn! I'm naked and waiting in the bed for them, they shouldn't have to watch porn! Am I not good enough? Not sexy enough? It's not fair!

 

No, wait....

 

Kevin!!!

 

Don't go getting a girl's hopes up!!

[moimeme]

its more work, this is a idea maker

 

It takes me so long to conjure up a fantasy that I bore myself to sleep!

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by End of my rope

If it's pure thought control then why does he need to watch the porn? Can't he just think it up instead?

Why do you drive to work, when you could just walk instead?

[Arabess]

Originally posted by moimeme

its more work, this is a idea maker

 

It takes me so long to conjure up a fantasy that I bore myself to sleep!

 

That's not true for me at all. If I was a porn film producer....I could come up with the BEST ones!!!! I've actually watched them thinking if they would NOW do THIS...it would be REALLY good. I think they are too generic.

[meanon]

That's not true for me at all. If I was a porn film producer....I could come up with the BEST ones!!!!

 

LOL ME TOO!!!

 

Your employment dilemma is over, Arabess. Let's go into Business! Now all we have to do is think up a name for our production company...... No not THAT one, it's already taken

[Thinkalot]

I haven't even read this thread...way too many replies on a topic which we've discussed so much....but meanon and Arabess, let me know if you decide to go into business...I'm sure I would be just right for a starring role of course.

[meanon]

A star is born!!!!!! As leading lady you can, of course, help select the other star. Is Bunny boy up for it or shall we audition the male LS contingent??????

[Pyrannaste]

Originally posted by moimeme

Interestingly enough, if the shoe were on the other foot, and all of us women were looking at other naked men and had virtual sex videos to watch with men in them, all the men would be harping on here.

 

No, because they would understand that, as Arabess said, they understand that looking is not loving.

 

I once asked my boyfriend-who has tons of porn stored on his computer- what he'd feel like if he found me masturbating in front of pictures of handsome naked men with big penises. It was more out of curiosity than anything.

He would understand but he'd feel *bad*. He is not comfortable with his body size himself.

I don't even consider buying playgirl magazine (just to tease him on the rare occasions his porn habit annoys me) because it would be like backstabbing. He'd feel like sh*t.

[Pyrannaste]

Originally posted by End of my rope

If it's pure thought control then why does he need to watch the porn? Can't he just think it up instead?

 

That's exactly what I thought.

Of course, same thing applies to romance novels to us girls.

 

BTW, anyone woman here has ever been caught by her significant other while masturbating to a romance novel? or to pictures of favourite movie star?

I usually don't read romance so it never happened to me, but if anyone had this experience I'd love to know what the reaction was.

[morrigan]

Porn is depersonalizing--it's not about the actual individuals, it's way to enhance the viewer's personal sexual stimulation. Books with sexual scenes are the same way--allowing the reader to place themselves in a similar scenario.

 

Many people who have problems with a partner using it think that said partner is personalizing it, that is, comparing the people in the pornographic material to the other person. That probably isn't the case.

 

Not every man has a big stash of porn in the closet anyway--some guys are more interested in car or fishing magazines.

 

My only problem would be if my boyfriend was foolish enough to leave any materials out where I could see them, or do anything when there is the potential for me to walk in on him.

[moimeme]

or shall we audition the male LS contingent??????

 

All right, then. I'm definitely on the production team

[HokeyReligions]

Moimeme: 'Because it makes me feel bad' isn't good enough.

 

That IS good enough. It needs no further explanation. If one person does something that makes the other feel bad, then it should stop. They don’t need to analyze the ‘why’ all they need to know is that it is hurtful.

 

Analysis and understanding the reasons behind an emotion does not always change the emotion. They can still say “Oh! Now I see it from your point of view and I understand your point, but it is STILL hurtful to me.”

 

 

 

Moimeme: Forget the cause

 

Oh no. Nosirree. That, IMHO, is the very worst thing people can do. If you have a problem, you *need* to uncover the cause otherwise you'll go find the wrong solution.

 

The simple solution if one person’s use of porn hurts their partner is to discontinue the porn use. That is NOT a wrong solution, IMO, in many cases. If the person is unable to stop using pornography then I agree that the root problem needs to be discovered.

 

Moimeme:

It's not about winning or losing, echo. It's about trying to provoke different ways of approaching problems. A lot of people stick to their own perspective and won't consider any other. Other folks are willing to look at problems and their solutions from different angles. This thread is about some of those different angles.

 

Good points. I have certainly looked at things from other angles – it doesn’t always change my mind though. I can be open-minded and understand someone else’s POV but I may still stick to my own perspective – we all do that a lot. As you said – it is the WILLINGNESS to look at problems from another POV.

 

 

Dyer: The point I was trying to make was that it's NOT the indulgence that causes the problem, it's the problem that causes the indulgence.

 

Not necessarily. When I mentioned that I had to search through a LOT of porn to find something and then after seeing all those images, I began to see the images in every day things. It’s not because I’m new to all of this stuff. I’m not a naive virgin and I’ve seen porn and even though I have not participated in the act in a while- I’ve still participated in discussions and relational stories. It’s because as humans we relate things we see to current events.

 

There was an episode of Friends where Joey & Chandler got free porn on TV. They watched it all the time and they realized that they were watching too much of it when they ordered pizza and the pizza delivery girl didn’t come in and have sex. Their perspectives were skewed because of the heavy porn use. How many times have you bought a new car and then suddenly you start seeing the same model all over the road? They were there before but you never noticed them until you owned one. I can see how even casual use of porn can influence a person’s lovemaking. Maybe their expectations for themselves or their partner are changed and they can be more demanding of themselves and their partners or they can be disappointed. Unrealistic images and expectations from porn can be damaging to a persons own sex life. The causes & timing for arousal can be dramatically changed. There are a lot of different ways porn influences people. It’s not all bad and its not all dramatic or obsessive, but there is an influence and it CAN be the cause of problems that may be minor or may escalate into something that the couple breaks up over. Porn can be the trunk of the tree with other problems stemming from it, or it can be a branch stemming from other problems. But don’t discount that pornography can be a root cause too.

[End of my rope]

Originally posted by dyermaker

Why do you drive to work, when you could just walk instead?

 

because it would take to long, and I wouldn't get to sleep as late!

[zarathustra]

HokeyReligions, an absolutely superb post. The fact that you're right makes your post even better.

 

Well done.

[Fedup&givingup]

Originally posted by dyermaker

Oh, bullcrap. He's not reliant upon something else, I'd love to see a man get sexual satisfaction from watching porn with his hands in the air. Porn is a tool. If your man listened to music while he worked on the car, is he reliant on the music?

 

Porn-watchers are reliant on their hands. Not on movies, nor actresses. YOU can't accept that it's a personal thing, it's pure thought control.

 

 

Being reliant on the visual stimulation of watching another woman is disgraceful. It's going elsewhere to get his sexual satisfaction met. Is it a tool? Yes, it is. I agree with that, but it's a tool that I feel is off limits.

[Fedup&givingup]

Originally posted by moimeme

its more work, this is a idea maker

 

It takes me so long to conjure up a fantasy that I bore myself to sleep!

 

Then, you lack imagination.

[Juggs]

Originally posted by Fedup&givingup

 

 

 

Being reliant on the visual stimulation of watching another woman is disgraceful. It's going elsewhere to get his sexual satisfaction met. Is it a tool? Yes, it is. I agree with that, but it's a tool that I feel is off limits.

 

 

With the above in mind, does that mean vibrators are on the no-no list as well?

[Fedup&givingup]

Originally posted by Juggs

With the above in mind, does that mean vibrators are on the no-no list as well?

 

No, nor are "sleeves" that men use to aid them in achieving thier orgasms.