not susure where to start...

[Graceful]

her freind contacted me today about unrelated small talk. not sure whether to respond.

Hi Luke,

What friend and what is unrelated small talk? Just asking how you are, that sort of thing?

 

For now, don't respond. You can't take back anything you say, so just keep silent.

 

Is it one of her girlfriends? Contacted you out of the blue? Please lay low, okay?

Grace

[Downtown]

I have no clue what to do.

"What to do" is a no-brainer, Luke. You get out of the service, go to college, and write professionally for a living. You are a natural born writer and are exceptionally gifted. I've been reading posts on several different forums every day for five years and have never seen anything with the flow and impact of your first post above. Although the punctuation and spelling and grammar are sloppy (i.e., just stream of consciousness writing), you have the rare gift of being able to capture feelings and imagery and deliver it with such attention to details that it all packs a wallop.

 

As to the girl, Luke, you are so young at 19 that the GFs should be coming and going for several years at least before you settle down. In contrast, your writing ability, together with your ability to read other people, are treasures that should be with you for a lifetime. Please nurture them. What a waste it will be if you squander your rare combination of having keen self awareness, awareness of your surroundings, and an incredible ability to describe it with such clarity and impact.

[Graceful]

I wouldn't be so quick to encourage him to leave the service. Why? Because if he plays his cards right, he can get college tuition paid for by the government in due time, if he stays in, that's why. And the military is the discipline he needs and craves. As for the writing, I told him the same thing. Is he ready for college just yet? How can anyone tell from afar. But I don't think so. His life in the service is only going to make him a more prepared person for college later. He's not squandering anything, but for all we know, he'd squander a college education right now.

 

I know a guy who was in the Marines in his twenties, he's now 27, going to college, and loving every minute of it (while working) -- guess who's paying?

 

It's called a plan.

 

Otherwise, I could not agree more.

[NSDNQ]

Hi Luke,

What friend and what is unrelated small talk? Just asking how you are, that sort of thing?

 

For now, don't respond. You can't take back anything you say, so just keep silent.

 

Is it one of her girlfriends? Contacted you out of the blue? Please lay low, okay?

Grace

 

her closest girlfriend. they've been best friends since like the third grade or something. she was the one that was at the party where I met her and that she gossiped with about me. my freind posted pictures of me doing a drunken stunt on facebook and she messaged me asking if I got in trouble for it, if I got hurt, how I went about it etc etc etc

 

"What to do" is a no-brainer, Luke. You get out of the service, go to college, and write professionally for a living. You are a natural born writer and are exceptionally gifted. I've been reading posts on several different forums every day for five years and have never seen anything with the flow and impact of your first post above. Although the punctuation and spelling and grammar are sloppy (i.e., just stream of consciousness writing), you have the rare gift of being able to capture feelings and imagery and deliver it with such attention to details that it all packs a wallop.

 

As to the girl, Luke, you are so young at 19 that the GFs should be coming and going for several years at least before you settle down. In contrast, your writing ability, together with your ability to read other people, are treasures that should be with you for a lifetime. Please nurture them. What a waste it will be if you squander your rare combination of having keen self awareness, awareness of your surroundings, and an incredible ability to describe it with such clarity and impact.

 

thats the first time I ever wrote like that. I tried writing a short story or two in highschool but got D's on them. I dont usually have any dramatic flair like that. she always brought that out of me. Aside from the occasional witty retort I dont even really speak that much.

 

I wouldn't be so quick to encourage him to leave the service. Why? Because if he plays his cards right, he can get college tuition paid for by the government in due time, if he stays in, that's why. And the military is the discipline he needs and craves. As for the writing, I told him the same thing. Is he ready for college just yet? How can anyone tell from afar. But I don't think so. His life in the service is only going to make him a more prepared person for college later. He's not squandering anything, but for all we know, he'd squander a college education right now.

 

I know a guy who was in the Marines in his twenties, he's now 27, going to college, and loving every minute of it (while working) -- guess who's paying?

 

It's called a plan.

 

Otherwise, I could not agree more.

 

your right. the temptations of a college campus are a bit much for me at the moment. and honestly, I ****ing love my job. where else in the world do you get payed to jump out of a plane or repel down a 50 foot wall, or piss out of a helicopter?

 

I smiled for the first time in a while today. and I'm eating again, which is good. still not sleeping much, but then I never really did. I'm actually starting to feel like I can survive without speaking to her on a regular basis. I used to pick fights with her back when we where together becuase as much as it hurt, it was better then no missed calls and silence while I lay in my room at night thinking about her.

 

I still think about her all the time, I still miss her like crazy. but for some strange reason it doesnt rip me apart at the seams as much when I do that anymore.

Edited May 22, 2011 by NSDNQ

[Downtown]

NSDNQ, thanks for the update. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better even though you still miss her.

[Graceful]

Hi Sunshine

 

Thanks for the update.

 

Aside from the occasional witty retort I dont even really speak that much.

You know, this is one of the great parts of online communication. You find out things about your ability to communicate and express yourself that are very different from your verbal speaking patterns. I've known loads of people online who say the same thing about being one way online, and another in person. But you're also still going through a maturation process, and your verbal skill set may be changing, too. As for me, I like interacting with you a lot, and I really mean that.

 

your right. the temptations of a college campus are a bit much for me at the moment. and honestly, I ****ing love my job. where else in the world do you get payed to jump out of a plane or repel down a 50 foot wall, or piss out of a helicopter?

I know, and you seemed to express this in earlier posts, and this is something that you should be very happy and proud about, that you've found a place for yourself, where you can be successful. This doesn't mean that you've got your entire future nailed, but it's a good start to love what you're doing and have it be such a good fit.

 

I smiled for the first time in a while today. and I'm eating again, which is good. still not sleeping much, but then I never really did. I'm actually starting to feel like I can survive without speaking to her on a regular basis.

This is nice, real nice to hear. And yes, you can find a sense of calm inside of you, by doing the right thing. That's what is happening. What did you smile about, or were you just feeling good about yourself and the idea that you felt better?

 

I used to pick fights with her back when we where together because as much as it hurt, it was better then no missed calls and silence while I lay in my room at night thinking about her.

 

I still think about her all the time, I still miss her like crazy. but for some strange reason it doesn't rip me apart at the seams as much when I do that anymore.

When you picked fights, it was basically like saying you wanted negative attention, as that was better than no attention at all. Well, now you know it's not better. Negative attention that is brought on by anger will only make you feel bad inside, and it drives people away, it does not bring them closer. Anger repels. Being loving is what brings people close to you. So you're learning. You can miss her and think about her, but notice the peace that you are feeling by staying quiet and maintaining your equilibrium? Think about how good you feel. And appreciate what you're doing to feel that way, okay? What you're doing is good, real good. Stay NC, will ya? Grace

[NSDNQ]

thank you grace, you've been an enormous help. I'd still be texting her all day alternating between begging her to come back and screaming at her for leaving me If it was'nt for finding this site and you on it. thank you.

 

I'm begining to look at NC as a way of life now and not just a tool. if she ever comes back to me, it will be months or years down the road. I cant lose that valuable time in my life just becuase I'm not sharing it with her. It didnt matter if my phone rang before I met her, why should it now? at least thats the thoery lol. I think I am ready to honestly try and make the best of it... to get my life in order.

 

she contacted me today.

 

asked me to mail her some of her stuff.

pretty much was the all buisness like attitude she has kept for the past three months whenever I was'nt getting a rise out of her.

when the conversation turned to her freind sending me the message it got warmer and personal for a second. then she started to bring up the past. closure stuff I guess. all this was a little akward but civil and polite. when it was time to say goodbye I akwardly hung up (idk why) and texted her:

 

Me: "I'll send you a post card from khandahar or something, till next time sunshine"

 

Her: "dont do anything stupid over there weekend warrior"

 

Me: "You do realize weekend warrior is an insult right?"

 

Her: "yes, its what you are right now"

 

Me: "hahaha. well whoever told you what weekend warrior means tell'em not to be mad I get laid more then they do, and I always come out on top, dont you worry about me"

 

Her: "*******. I can think for myself. go **** yourself. bye"

 

(the "getting laid" remark was'nt anything angry or hurtful, its my standby comeback for the rare moments I cant come up with a good one offhand and she knows this, what I'm wondering is if she was just teasing me or actually trying to be hurtfull for no reason)

 

Me: I never meant to imply you couldnt. If anyone knows how independent you are its me. if its me being with other girls your worrying about... I might have a girl here and now to keep me from getting lonely but your the one I'm never going to forget saydee

 

Her: I dont care. I didnt ask like you always do. go **** yourself. bye.

 

At this point I lost it. I got pissed and fliped some furniture around inside my apartment, but I kept my finger off the send button. I took the battery out of my phone, left it on my bed and ran some errands for an hour or two. after I cooled down I sent one last reply"

 

"right. we cant talk about it without fighting becuase we dont care. that makes perfect sense. shoot me a text when you stop being a bitter person"

 

she's never instigated like this before. I've always been the one to curse first and start the fight. maybe this is some sort of saftey net thing? like she took it for granted I would always be there when she wanted me and now that I'm starting to move on she's freaking out?

 

In any case, I have to work on me right now. maybe it will all make sense after a deployment or two.

[NSDNQ]

I just cant understand where she's coming from and that kills me. we used know exactly what the other was thinking.

[NSDNQ]

and I smiled becuase my little sister cuaght me brooding, tilted her head, and started copy cating the look on my face, which looked unbearably cute on her lol

[NSDNQ]

I really wish I could get angry right now. I wish I could get pissed and start blaming her for the betrayals, nasty words, I wish I had more in me, I wish I would snap and flip furniture again or break something.

 

becuase being calm I am missing her dearly, and I am reminded that she is not missing me. that she no longer loves me, and may never really have.

 

this cuases alot of pain I dont know what to do with.

 

hell id even settle for when I was breaking down uncontrollably, becuase then when I shut my eyes tight enough and let out sobs so long that I ran out of air and couldnt breath, in that moment of so much pain it was almost like I wasnt really there, like there was no me to feel the pain anymore.

 

but now... I cant stop myself from fondly remembering the good times and how happy we where. and there is nowhere left to run from these memories.

 

In a strictly rational sense I guess its good I dont have access to liquor right now.

[Graceful]

I really wish I could get angry right now. I wish I could get pissed and start blaming her for the betrayals, nasty words, I wish I had more in me, I wish I would snap and flip furniture again or break something.

 

becuase being calm I am missing her dearly, and I am reminded that she is not missing me. that she no longer loves me, and may never really have.

 

this cuases alot of pain I dont know what to do with.

You are a total surprise, know that? Woah. Let me tell you a little something about anger, because you are right on the money with how you feel and the reasons why. Anger masks real feelings. Duh, right? So in not letting anger get the best of you, you're feeling your true feelings, your heart, and your heart aches, and this is the pain that you would not feel if you were running around being angry and taking it out on your ex.

 

As far as her not missing you, I wouldn't speculate on that, as that's not something you know one way or another.

 

hell id even settle for when I was breaking down uncontrollably, becuase then when I shut my eyes tight enough and let out sobs so long that I ran out of air and couldnt breath, in that moment of so much pain it was almost like I wasnt really there, like there was no me to feel the pain anymore.

Well, in private, there's no reason you can't cry on your own, and break down, just let it happen. If you have nice memories, that's tough to handle, sure, but I keep telling you, that's much better than anger, madness, drama, bitterness, and tension. People think that it's "easier" to get over someone when you leave off with anger and bitterness. Newsflash: No it is not. Nope. You cannot imagine how much better you're going to feel inside having a sense of calm, goodness, and fondness inside of you. And it's much better for your overall state of mind.

 

In a strictly rational sense I guess its good I dont have access to liquor right now.

Should I admit you have me cracking up here. Uh, yes, it's best you're not drinking, I agree. But I like your humor. You're handling yourself with real awesomeness. I'll be back tomorrow -- got a few more things to say, for when ever you get back. Until then, take care. Grace

[NSDNQ]

You are a total surprise, know that? Woah. Let me tell you a little something about anger, because you are right on the money with how you feel and the reasons why. Anger masks real feelings. Duh, right? So in not letting anger get the best of you, you're feeling your true feelings, your heart, and your heart aches, and this is the pain that you would not feel if you were running around being angry and taking it out on your ex.

 

As far as her not missing you, I wouldn't speculate on that, as that's not something you know one way or another.

 

Well, in private, there's no reason you can't cry on your own, and break down, just let it happen. If you have nice memories, that's tough to handle, sure, but I keep telling you, that's much better than anger, madness, drama, bitterness, and tension. People think that it's "easier" to get over someone when you leave off with anger and bitterness. Newsflash: No it is not. Nope. You cannot imagine how much better you're going to feel inside having a sense of calm, goodness, and fondness inside of you. And it's much better for your overall state of mind.

 

Should I admit you have me cracking up here. Uh, yes, it's best you're not drinking, I agree. But I like your humor. You're handling yourself with real awesomeness. I'll be back tomorrow -- got a few more things to say, for when ever you get back. Until then, take care. Grace

 

Hi grace

 

joined a boxing gym today so I think I've found a healthy outlet for the short temper. god knows I've been in dire need of punching someone in the face for a while.

 

but honestly I'm not sure if I want to lose it. the entire relationship was really unhealthy. without that anger I dont know what would stop me from taking her back in a heartbeat and being a doormatt.

 

I would love nothing more then to be her best friend and lover again but shes just burned me too many ****ing times for me to really trust her. we would really have to work **** out for it to be worth while.

 

but I know the second I look into her eyes again and smell that ****ing vanilla perfume I'm going to get weak at the knees like i always do and be all pining for her.

 

she knows this and takes itt for granted. which is why while shes admitted to being in love with another man our whole relationship, and tells me **** like "hes the only one I want to hold me at night" she'll also say things like "we'll be together someday in the future, I'm not sure when or where but I know it will happen"

 

dont be so ****ing sure woman... dont be so ****ing sure

 

I need a drink

[NSDNQ]

guess who's back?

 

figured I'd drop in and give ya'll an update so you don't think I took a long drive of a short peir or something

 

but hey funny story (you'll love this sh*t):

 

get released from the reserves to go on active duty (because lets face it anyone who's been in the reserves know's it sucks) and try out for special operations assessment and selection (its called something else but this title saves me an explanation) as long as I re class as a medic. and I have until may before I ship out. which means I have a considerable amount of time to kill, and decide to get my EMT certification at the local community college to prepare myself and save a few weeks of AIT. so I sit down in my first anatomy class and low-and-F*cking-behold, guess whos sitting right next to me? that's right. the ex. she probably would have thought I was stalking her if she didn't see how surprised I was (almost sh*t my pants) that mr. prince charming she was so in love with cheated on her and left her for someone else (ironic right?) so we talked about trying to rekindle sh*t and we made out but there was no spark. it was weird. like nothing. felt absolutely nothing. that kinda set me free in a lot of ways.

 

last I heard from her shes in another relationship and talking about getting married, to a woman. not as happy for her as I was sorry for her when she got dumped (don't ask me why) but hey, just the way the cookie crumbles

 

I'm doing a lot better now. way better in fact. lost track of how long I've been NC so that's a good sign. still think about the ex once or twice a day, but its not really painful like it used to be, and I'm not obsessing over her anymore. I'm focusing on my career. turns out I'm really good at medicine. like the paramedic version dr. house good at medicine. go figure right? I feel like me again. and it feels good.

Edited January 22, 2012 by NSDNQ

[Graceful]

guess who's back?

 

figured I'd drop in and give ya'll an update so you don't think I took a long drive of a short peir or something

 

Nope. Never thought that at all. I stopped coming to LS on a regular basis myself a few months ago. I drop by every now and again, but I'd say it's just a bit uncanny that I dropped by today and you're here. What am I supposed to make of that?

 

I am crazy happy to see you, you son of a *&^%@%#.

 

Seeing your OP ... brings it all back, doesn't it?

 

 

as long as I re class as a medic. and I have until may before I ship out. which means I have a considerable amount of time to kill, and decide to get my EMT certification at the local community college to prepare myself and save a few weeks of AIT.

 

This sounds awesome for you. You know, I read a book about a woman who became an EMT, and it made a true impression on me. She was a very unlikely candidate for the work, too, which made the book very funny and poignant all at once. Seems to be a real bond among EMT's -- it made me wonder what it would be like to be an EMT myself. Great stuff.

 

so I sit down in my first anatomy class and low-and-F*cking-behold, guess whos sitting right next to me? that's right. the ex. she probably would have thought I was stalking her if she didn't see how surprised I was (almost sh*t my pants) that mr. prince charming she was so in love with cheated on her and left her for someone else (ironic right?) so we talked about trying to rekindle sh*t and we made out but there was no spark. it was weird. like nothing. felt absolutely nothing. that kinda set me free in a lot of ways.

 

Truth is always stranger than fiction, you know? And this is just another instance of "you can't make this stuff up" -- sounds like she quit the class? Either way, this was just the medicine the doctor ordered, isn't it?

 

With distance and time, she became "someone you used to know" and someone you had a history with --- and that door you thought was open really had closed.

 

The past is *never* in the past, now is it? It's on your shoulders, it's in your head, and it's part of who you are. So to say that your past is something you can just get away from, or move on from -- kind of impossible, isn't it?

 

What you got is a chance to really close the chapter, though. You can see your ex, even have a little compassion for her, and keep the thoughts framed in your mind, and have the emotional and mental freedom that you didn't think you'd ever find after that breakup.

 

Eh. No surprise to me. I knew you'd get there.

 

way better in fact. lost track of how long I've been NC so that's a good sign. still think about the ex once or twice a day, but its not really painful like it used to be, and I'm not obsessing over her anymore. I'm focusing on my career. turns out I'm really good at medicine. like the paramedic version dr. house good at medicine. go figure right? I feel like me again. and it feels good.

 

As for marking time -- I can relate. Doesn't have any meaning after a while, you're just on with your life.

 

All I can say is, if I were in a situation (God help me, but you never know) where I needed a paramedic, and you showed up, ala "House style" personality (let alone smarts and looks -- I like scruffy, scrappy men ...) I'd probably be hoping you'd ask me for my phone number before I passed out.

 

You're a sight for sore eyes, and I for one, am glad to know you're not only okay, but never been better. You're goin' places, just trust yourself. You made my day.

 

And be true, ya here me? Your friend always, Grace

Edited January 22, 2012 by Graceful

[NSDNQ]

Nope. Never thought that at all. I stopped coming to LS on a regular basis myself a few months ago. I drop by every now and again, but I'd say it's just a bit uncanny that I dropped by today and you're here. What am I supposed to make of that?

 

I am crazy happy to see you, you son of a *&^%@%#.

 

Seeing your OP ... brings it all back, doesn't it?

 

 

as long as I re class as a medic. and I have until may before I ship out. which means I have a considerable amount of time to kill, and decide to get my EMT certification at the local community college to prepare myself and save a few weeks of AIT.

 

This sounds awesome for you. You know, I read a book about a woman who became an EMT, and it made a true impression on me. She was a very unlikely candidate for the work, too, which made the book very funny and poignant all at once. Seems to be a real bond among EMT's -- it made me wonder what it would be like to be an EMT myself. Great stuff.

 

so I sit down in my first anatomy class and low-and-F*cking-behold, guess whos sitting right next to me? that's right. the ex. she probably would have thought I was stalking her if she didn't see how surprised I was (almost sh*t my pants) that mr. prince charming she was so in love with cheated on her and left her for someone else (ironic right?) so we talked about trying to rekindle sh*t and we made out but there was no spark. it was weird. like nothing. felt absolutely nothing. that kinda set me free in a lot of ways.

 

Truth is always stranger than fiction, you know? And this is just another instance of "you can't make this stuff up" -- sounds like she quit the class? Either way, this was just the medicine the doctor ordered, isn't it?

 

With distance and time, she became "someone you used to know" and someone you had a history with --- and that door you thought was open really had closed.

 

The past is *never* in the past, now is it? It's on your shoulders, it's in your head, and it's part of who you are. So to say that your past is something you can just get away from, or move on from -- kind of impossible, isn't it?

 

What you got is a chance to really close the chapter, though. You can see your ex, even have a little compassion for her, and keep the thoughts framed in your mind, and have the emotional and mental freedom that you didn't think you'd ever find after that breakup.

 

Eh. No surprise to me. I knew you'd get there.

 

way better in fact. lost track of how long I've been NC so that's a good sign. still think about the ex once or twice a day, but its not really painful like it used to be, and I'm not obsessing over her anymore. I'm focusing on my career. turns out I'm really good at medicine. like the paramedic version dr. house good at medicine. go figure right? I feel like me again. and it feels good.

 

As for marking time -- I can relate. Doesn't have any meaning after a while, you're just on with your life.

 

All I can say is, if I were in a situation (God help me, but you never know) where I needed a paramedic, and you showed up, ala "House style" personality (let alone smarts and looks -- I like scruffy, scrappy men ...) I'd probably be hoping you'd ask me for my phone number before I passed out.

 

You're a sight for sore eyes, and I for one, am glad to know you're not only okay, but never been better. You're goin' places, just trust yourself. You made my day.

 

And be true, ya here me? Your friend always, Grace

 

 

The whole bond thing is a lot different in EMS than it is in the military. its hard to explain but the mentality is different. but the work is a lot more rewarding than training to shoot people in the face all day.

 

and we just both stuck it out until the semester ended. i think it was just as awkward for her as it was for me.

 

I read a few pages out of that book you recommended to me when I first showed up. soon as I manage to find another copy you'll be hard pressed to get my nose out of it. as long as we're recommending reads check out "hunting the jackal" by Billy Waugh. I just finished it myself, not sure if its up you're alley but its a good book.

 

Thank you grace. you're advice kept me (relatively) sane and kept me from making some really stupid decisions. I owe you for it.

 

your faithful friend,

 

Luke.

 

PS: don't go hurting yourself just to give me your number now! if that's the case I'd be morally obligated to give you mine

Edited January 22, 2012 by NSDNQ

[Frank13]

NSDNQ, thanks for coming back and updating us. Weird how things worked out.

 

This is interesting for people to see that you made out with her but felt nothing. Sometimes people think they are over their ex but the feelings come back when they break NC. Your update gives hope to those suffering right now.

 

The fact you lost track of how long you have been NC shows you are really over her and not having feelings when you made out proves it.

 

It sounds like she got hers too. Must have been sweet to hear her guy cheated on her and left her for someone else.

[NSDNQ]

NSDNQ, thanks for coming back and updating us. Weird how things worked out.

 

This is interesting for people to see that you made out with her but felt nothing. Sometimes people think they are over their ex but the feelings come back when they break NC. Your update gives hope to those suffering right now.

 

The fact you lost track of how long you have been NC shows you are really over her and not having feelings when you made out proves it.

 

It sounds like she got hers too. Must have been sweet to hear her guy cheated on her and left her for someone else.

 

see that's the thing, i imagined that moment in my head millions of times the reality was'nt even close. that whole "bitch I told you so!" feeling last for all of about 30 seconds before you realize their hurting just as bad as you where not to long ago. i don't care how bad they hurt you, if you ever loved them half as much as you said you did, its actually going to hurt seeing them in that kind of pain, even if its not because of you.

 

and I wouldn't say I'm over her really. there's still a huge soft spot for her, she still crosses my mind every day. I think about how things could have worked out differently, have reconciliation fantasies, and reminisce about the sex. it's just not to point where it used to be where I would have played Russian Roulette with 5 chambers loaded just to get her back.

 

come to think of it, there's a lot of grimey **** she did to me and never apologized for, and until I get the sincere apology I deserve I'm not interested in hearing what she has to say to me.

 

That panic of not knowing if that pain in your chest is going to ever go away is more scary than actually losing them, especially if its your first time around. and you never wake up one day and say "hahaha I'm better now!" your brain is going to fight its own recovery e... v... e... r... y... s... t... e... p... o... f... t... h... e... w... a... y...

 

it never gets easy bro, just easier...

 

but, every breath I take proves I can live without her.

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

and I wouldn't say I'm over her really. there's still a huge soft spot for her, she still crosses my mind every day. I think about how things could have worked out differently, have reconciliation fantasies, and reminisce about the sex. it's just not to point where it used to be where I would have played Russian Roulette with 5 chambers loaded just to get her back.

 

I think we all could relate to that feeling. Although my thoughts were more along the lines of playing Russian Roulette with a single-shot shotgun or with all 6 chambers loaded... and praying for a misfire

 

it never gets easy bro, just easier...

but, every breath I take proves I can live without her.

 

I can drink to that.

 

Thanks for sharing your success story.

[Graceful]

Agreed. When you reach indifference, or get to the point where you can acknowledge that the love you felt for someone has faded, and you're finally looking in the rear view mirror, you don't really feel any satisfaction hearing of their pain. Time, distance, and perspective. Putting yourself first. Seeing the light. It's all there.

 

That's why the past is NEVER in the past -- the trick is to have no regrets about the past. There is no going forward in life with regrets. What's done is done. We're here to make mistakes, learn from them, and if that involves getting hurt, take it on the chin and know it's all in the grand scheme of things.

 

You get out what you put in. Put effort into your healing and recovery, put yourself first --- it's amazing what that will accomplish.

 

And, UH, if I do say so myself, a little bit of HUMOR helps. :laugh: That's why you and I get along.

 

I read a few pages out of that book you recommended to me when I first showed up. soon as I manage to find another copy you'll be hard pressed to get my nose out of it. as long as we're recommending reads check out "hunting the jackal" by Billy Waugh. I just finished it myself, not sure if its up you're alley but its a good book.

 

Thank you grace. you're advice kept me (relatively) sane and kept me from making some really stupid decisions. I owe you for it.

 

You started reading the TB? That is awesome, Luke, and I hope you get back to it. I am truly touched that you took that to heart -- it's YOUR story, from the sound of it, in so many ways -- and you can extrapolate from it.

 

In your honor, I will re-read it. I LOVE reading memoirs, when you really get inside the heart and soul of the writer's life. That's what you did when you first posted here. You're not the average bear, that's what I saw in you from day one.

 

I would love to read the book you recommended to me here, have heard of it, and will give it a shot. Someone I met last year wanted to be a CIA agent when he was younger, I wonder if he read it --- I'll have to ask.

 

PS: don't go hurting yourself just to give me your number now! if that's the case I'd be morally obligated to give you mine

 

Oh, really?? Heh. Now that's my idea of romance, Luke.

Edited January 23, 2012 by Graceful

[NSDNQ]

You're not the average bear, that's what I saw in you from day one.

 

Nah, I'm just a guy with the same flaws as everyone else lol

 

Oh, really?? Heh. Now that's my idea of romance, Luke.

 

ok, I was just looking for an excuse to flirt. ya caught me.

[Chi townD]

Relationships and the military are like water and oil. They don't mix well together. It takes a very special kind of lady to put up with the military lifestyle. Believe me, I know. I was in the Navy but assigned to the Marines as a Corpsman (medical). These girls get swept away by their man in uniform like a Knight in shining Armor. But, then reality kicks in and they have a hard time with the long deployments. Oh, they know they're coming and they know that you're going to be gone 12 months or longer. But, they don't realize the work-ups to these deployments. Several weeks in the field, gone for a month or two for training here and there.....THEN, the long 12 month deployment. If you look at your SNCO's, a lot of them are probably on their second or even third marriage already. So, I standby my orginal statement. It takes a very special kind of girl, and your Ex isn't it. Sorry.

 

Oh, and whoever told you that seeing medical or a Psychologist is a career killer is full of ****. You won't become a section 8 for mild depression or coping issuse. Section 8 is for VERY pronounced psychological disorders like schizophrenia. Hell, a lot of service members are currently seeing psychologists for PTSD. They're still in and you're Medical record has NO BEARING on the cutting score for rank. ALSO, the military does adhere to HIPPA. Therefore, NO ONE has the right to know you're current medical status (except if you're on light or limited duty) and what you are being treated for EXCEPT your CO and he or she has to request it specifically and with good reason. If you're still "iffy" about seeing medical, then talk to the Chaplin, that's what they're there for. To lend support and for them to be a ear for you.

 

Good on you for thinking of being a Medic. For me, being a Corpsman opened my eyes on what direction I wanted to go with my life and I stuck with medicine (I teach it now). And go to College, hell you get TA, might as well use it! And medics are...okay. I think they need more formalized training...but if your go 18-Delta, that's a good choice. They know what the hell they're doing!

Edited January 23, 2012 by Chi townD

[NSDNQ]

Relationships and the military are like water and oil. They don't mix well together. It takes a very special kind of lady to put up with the military lifestyle. Believe me, I know. I was in the Navy but assigned to the Marines as a Corpsman (medical). These girls get swept away by their man in uniform like a Knight in shining Armor. But, then reality kicks in and they have a hard time with the long deployments. Oh, they know they're coming and they know that you're going to be gone 12 months or longer. But, they don't realize the work-ups to these deployments. Several weeks in the field, gone for a month or two for training here and there.....THEN, the long 12 month deployment. If you look at your SNCO's, a lot of them are probably on their second or even third marriage already. So, I standby my orginal statement. It takes a very special kind of girl, and your Ex isn't it. Sorry.

 

Oh, and whoever told you that seeing medical or a Psychologist is a career killer is full of ****. You won't become a section 8 for mild depression or coping issuse. Section 8 is for VERY pronounced psychological disorders like schizophrenia. Hell, a lot of service members are currently seeing psychologists for PTSD. They're still in and you're Medical record has NO BEARING on the cutting score for rank. ALSO, the military does adhere to HIPPA. Therefore, NO ONE has the right to know you're current medical status (except if you're on light or limited duty) and what you are being treated for EXCEPT your CO and he or she has to request it specifically and with good reason. If you're still "iffy" about seeing medical, then talk to the Chaplin, that's what they're there for. To lend support and for them to be a ear for you.

 

Good on you for thinking of being a Medic. For me, being a Corpsman opened my eyes on what direction I wanted to go with my life and I stuck with medicine (I teach it now). And go to College, hell you get TA, might as well use it! And medics are...okay. I think they need more formalized training...but if your go 18-Delta, that's a good choice. They know what the hell they're doing!

 

Negative on the 18D. 68W and volunteering for Ranger Regiment. same portions of SOCM minus the veterinary stuff from what I'm told.