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In response to my helpful advice about hubby running away. Again and again.


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Have tried confronting the "brick wall". Post: 6 | Quote:

 

Yes, I've tried to tell him to not walk out until we get some answers and to have actually beg him to stay so that we could resolve things. It's not easy without a referee. I'd taken some psychology in school and it just kills me inside he just sees things from his point of view and can never put himself in my shoes. He comes from a great upbringing, but I just can't help but think he was spoiled and grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth. He grew up from a very religous background. I was not, so tried to enlighten myself w/getting back to religion. But, he's more prayer than action and doesn't practice what he preaches. I practically had to force him to read the Bible daily (something HE suggested we do) because he's so tired. That's just laziness and he is using religion as a crutch. He wanted me to convert and you know, I would do anything for my man, if I thought it was the right thing. But, I see him as a very bad representative of his religion. Where in the Bible does it say to act the way he does and walk away from such a sacred committment as marriage?

 

That was one of the reasons we kept fighting too. Because it was never resolved in the first place. He had always wanted to just start over. That's great, if we were able to, but it never fails that he always brought up the past. You are right about your insight. But now I've tried, but I'm so confused as to what to do now since he physically left. He e-mails he loves me one sec, will take care of the cat, left some money for me at the apartment. Then, he's mad at me that I took my ring off and I'm either immature or planning infidelity so I should just tell him before he finds out from someone else! Wait a sec here, he left me. I didn't assume he walked out and left the marriage, he did it. But, I'm wrong in taking off my ring and leaving it at the apartment. Is it me? He's beaten it in my head I'm always wrong that I can't tell if I really am anymore.

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  • 3 weeks later...
ItsMichelle

Wow, sounds like my life.

 

I decided I have to tell my husband things in stupid terms to get him to understand.

 

Like having the same arguement over and over again. I told him it was like watching the same program on tv over and over again, if you didn't change the channel and do something different, you would forever be watching the same program over and over again........he finally understood. And when we argue I have to tell him how something he did or said made me feel whether that was his purpose or not it is still my feelings. He always wanted to start over again too. That is because of something I said to him that made him realize it WAS his fault so starting over would be forgetting. I couldn't just forget and he wouldn't admit to anything.

 

My husband and I have had a rough time. We are together now after a seperation. He is in counceling now. He seems to understand what happened between us.

 

I think I need counceling now. Everything is better than it has been since we met and dated. And now I'm the one faced with temptation and on one hand I want to go for it because of the past and on the other hand I don't because I want this to work.

 

For you, he's gone. Don't take the abuse! Yes it may hurt, yes you may miss him but until the torture and pain you had to go through is over, don't go back! And don't let him in your apartment anymore so he can check up on you. Get your own life back on track and then see how it works out. Please trust me on this one.

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