casper011 Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Hi. Well I am a really shy person, which means when I first meet someone (mostly new guys) I barely talk to them or really even look at them. However once I get to know them I can't stop talking . I'm hoping to get some suggestions on how to overcome being so shy. Link to post Share on other sites
marigold7 Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 (Random Factoid: I actually tend to have the opposite problem. I am really bashful around my boyfriend of six months. It's kinda funny and annoying at the same time.) But anyway, why do you think you are so shy? Did you have a bad experience and/or have you always been shy? how do you generally try to make friends? Couple general suggestions: brainstorm and come up with some topics that you really like to talk about. when you meet someone, try to bring them up somehow. keep in mind that there is serious potential for your first conversation with someone to actually lead to a great relationship and don't be embarrassed that you're shy (if you are embarrassed that is, lol). a lot of people are shy and i bet they get through life pretty well despite that. stay strong. or there's always the internet - i'm sure there are lots of websites with general information for shy people; it's hard to help you when we don't really know you that well. hopefully this helps a little! Link to post Share on other sites
crazyd Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Casper, I am almost the exact same way! Marigold provided some useful advice. Being on the shy side for my entire life, I've come to realize it's not something that you can ever really get over. However, you can control it. Try not to over think things. When you have a conversation with someone you just met, make yourself as relaxed as possible. That's probably the key. Maintain solid eye contact, and as Marigold suggested, brainstorm some things you can talk about before hand. Oh, smile (but don't overdue it). I find smiling occasionally during a conversation puts not only myself, but the other person at ease as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author casper011 Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 ""But anyway, why do you think you are so shy? Did you have a bad experience and/or have you always been shy? how do you generally try to make friends?" Well Marigold7 I have always been a shy person, but I did have a bad experience, well two times actually, you see i had these friends but it turned out that they were just back stabbers and I have great friends now, but those experiences stayed with me. I usually am introduced to people by my friends, I don't really feel comfortable just going up to a stranger. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Casper, I sense that you are a lot more normal than you think. Firstly, if you KNOW you've got it mastered how to maintain a conversation once you get to know somebody, then you're far ahead of a lot of people on this earth. Some people just don't have the depth to keep a conversation going, so if you have that, and are confident about it, then you will be able to thrive for quite a long while with what you have. And you might pay special attention to online dating scenarios in which you can take TIME to get to know someone in some detail, before meeting in real life for the first time. That way you are suddenly armed with all of the details which will help you know what questions to ask... while at the same time he will know what questions to ask to get you thriving conversationally. There is nothing wrong with a little assistance from the 'net in the area of stepping around that initial hesitation. Link to post Share on other sites
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