MM has another OW?

[TMCM]

Frank Pittman is considered an expert on infidelity -- was often quoted during the Clinton/Monica Lewinsky situation. He's a therapist with decades of experience and said something incredible in one of his books. If I recall correctly, he believes 90+ percent of all divorces are related to infidelity, whether the betrayed party is aware of it or not.

 

Not saying Pittman is the final word on this, but his comment took me by surprise.

 

Infidelity is like an iceberg in that we only see the tip but not the larger part underneath it. So Frank Pittman's statement may very well be true.

[ladyinlimbo]

Still separated... but starting to think I should try to work it out with Hubby. It couldn't be a worse situation. Or maybe even be alone for a while.

 

OMG, do you even realize how cold-hearted and selfish you sound? You snuck around behind your husband's back for 6 years.........you ironically find out your MM is cheating on you (go figure LOL) and now you think that maybe you'll just toodle on back to the fall-back guy, your husband? Like he's just some convenient option? Divorce the poor guy, leave him alone, he deserves to have a woman in his life who makes him her #1 priority - not a Plan B when their MM lets them down and lies to them.

[greengoddess]

OMG, do you even realize how cold-hearted and selfish you sound? You snuck around behind your husband's back for 6 years.........you ironically find out your MM is cheating on you (go figure LOL) and now you think that maybe you'll just toodle on back to the fall-back guy, your husband? Like he's just some convenient option? Divorce the poor guy, leave him alone, he deserves to have a woman in his life who makes him her #1 priority - not a Plan B when their MM lets them down and lies to them.

 

Could not agree more. People are so self centered. SAD.

[erica01]

It seems very odd that a man would move out simply because his wife didn't have a job.

 

Usually when a spouse moves out it's because there are some very serious issues in the marriage, such as domestic violence, substance abuse, emotional abuse, etc. Also if there is somebody else that he/she has started an affair with and has fallen in love with.

 

 

 

I think you're right but if he truly felt bothered by it, wouldn't he had brought it to your attention?

 

Do you have any suspicions that he had or might be having an affair of his own?

 

Like I said, I never really got a direct answer on that. I think it was some combination of all 3. My H has a lot of issues when it comes to commitment and staying settled. In the marriage, at 1 job, at 1 house, etc. When we were together/living together I did my best. I knew MM prior to that and we were friends, but I had no contact with him until H moved out. I guess that's when MM decided to make his move.

 

When we were living together, I had suspicions about H having an affair but never really knew for sure. I also suspected that could be his reason for moving out.

 

Very true but take another look and you'll note that I added 'etc.'

 

Nevertheless, something is odd with erica01 H's motives for separation.

 

I can't say with any certainty what he was thinking. I can only tell you what I've been told. Suspicious or not, that's all I know.

 

OMG, do you even realize how cold-hearted and selfish you sound? You snuck around behind your husband's back for 6 years.........you ironically find out your MM is cheating on you (go figure LOL) and now you think that maybe you'll just toodle on back to the fall-back guy, your husband? Like he's just some convenient option? Divorce the poor guy, leave him alone, he deserves to have a woman in his life who makes him her #1 priority - not a Plan B when their MM lets them down and lies to them.

 

MM was my friend for years prior to me and H getting married and H knew that. It didn't become a problem for him until we moved in together and then got married. So because it was a problem for H, I only spoke to MM at work. Eventually I was laid off from that job so the issue with MM was no longer a problem.

 

I didn't speak to him until again until after H moved out, and that's when it went further. I never hid the friendship from H, then and now. It's only the physical part that started since our separation that he had never heard outright from me.