AmericanHoney Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I have a childhood friend who went psycho on me and always wondered why I never went out with him anymore. I said I work I have a life,etc and he went all psycho on me and said well you should make time for me! I asked him politely to leave me alone and not contact me anymore and he keeps e-mailing me and says I just thought of a song I heard and thought of you. I asked him once to leave me alone but clearly he is not getting the message what should I do?? I do not think you can block e-mails can you?? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 There is way of blocking the person, look in your email options. Or, just change your email address to a new one and delete your other account so he cannot contact you anymore. This doesn't sound like stalking. Unless he follows you everywhere you go, lurks in your life, calls you alot, comes by your house, etc.. IF that is happening, then you go to your local police station and file a report. Let them talk to you about the best way to handle this and if it's bad enough, they'll put a restraining order on the guy. But, from what you've said, this guy just isn't getting the hint. Ignore him since you have told him you're not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmericanHoney Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 Let me be clear we have or will never date. By going out I meant as friends going to grab a drink or listen to a local band. He always wanted to date me but I always said sorry I do not see you that way we are friends only. It does count as cyberstalking though. If someone is watching every move you make on your facebook or e-mailing you all the time it could be considered cyberstalking. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Let me be clear we have or will never date. By going out I meant as friends going to grab a drink or listen to a local band. He always wanted to date me but I always said sorry I do not see you that way we are friends only. It does count as cyberstalking though. If someone is watching every move you make on your facebook or e-mailing you all the time it could be considered cyberstalking. Do you have him on your friends list? If so, delete and block him so he can't see your facebook page. Or if he isn't on your list, you can still block him..or change your privacy setting to friends only who can see your page. You say he's a childhood friend (has he been in your life growing up as well?) and if you know him well, then be totally upfront and harsh with him to leave you alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AmericanHoney Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 I guess I need to be harsher. I am not sure what is going on his life but he used to be so cool and nice and then he went psycho and demanding. I ignored his last e-mail so hopefully he will get the hint and I blocked him on FB but maybe I need to change my settings so he can't see what I write on my wall. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I guess I need to be harsher. I am not sure what is going on his life but he used to be so cool and nice and then he went psycho and demanding. I ignored his last e-mail so hopefully he will get the hint and I blocked him on FB but maybe I need to change my settings so he can't see what I write on my wall. Then ask him wtf is going on and why he's changed so much? Does he suffer from bi polar? Is he depressed? maybe there is stuff going on in his life you don't know about and it's affecting how he is overall. If you have blocked him, he won't be able to see your wall at all, infact he probably isn't on your list anymore, you can't see him, he can't see you. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 The right word would be "harrassment", which equates to "repeated and unwanted". If you are tormenting the neighbor's cat every day on the way home from school, you are harrassing it. Whether or not said cat has the capacity to dial (what would be) "People Control" does not change that reality. The OP should keep printed copy of requests made by her for him to leave her alone. Those can be offered to authorities as helpful evidence in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I disagree with the cyberstalking comment. If so I would be guilty , for each day I see my friends online and keep in touch, or email them. I do not consider a person who writes a note- Hey I thought of you when I heard a song , is anywhere near Stalking online or offline. Yes, the dude is a wee bit dense at getting the message that she wishes to discontinue the social friendship, but I've yet to be convinced by any Legal standards that this qualifies as CYBERSTALKING. Nor is it harrassment. He isn't sending her emails that contain threats or inappropriate gestures/statements. SHe CAN change her email account and be done with that form of communication. She can block him from online sites. She does have options. Link to post Share on other sites
Fugu Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 (edited) It's borderline illegal, if not outright illegal. If you have made it clear that you don't want to be emailed or contacted, that is harassment, and that is illegal in many states, and it's also breaking federal law, depending on the circumstances. At the very least, you can get a restraining order placed against him. Just brace yourself if you take action: you don't know what he is or is not capable of, especially since he doesn't seem to respect personal boundaries very well. I might just give him a warning that you reserve the right to take legal action against him and see what his response is. You might want to let others around you know - friends, family - so that they'll be on alert for any suspicious persons or behavior. But you don't have to put up with this. The other option is, maybe a big bad-ass ex-marine friend of yours could show up at his doorstep one night and have a, uh, chat with him. Edited May 18, 2011 by Fugu Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Block him on facebook. Also make it so only friends can see your facebook account. That way there is no way for him to see that stuff anymore. You can and should also block his emails. If he finds a way to msg you after this. Then just let him know “I don’t want to talk to you anymore, please leave me alone. If you have any respect you will just stop.” If he continues sending you msgs after this then threaten him “I will take legal action if you do not leave me alone including police.” Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 Nor is it harrassment. He isn't sending her emails that contain threats or inappropriate gestures/statements. You are simply wrong. Harrassment is merely "repeated and unwanted". Your vague reference to inappropriate may be more in relation to "Sexual harrassment", but this is unquestionably still harrassment. Nothing need be illegal, threatening or 'inappropriate' beyond it merely arriving after such time as when it was clearly communicated by the recipient that it was unwanted. There is certainly no prerequisite that harrassment constitute "e-mails". Admittedly it takes significant levels of harrassment to get various authorities involved. In the workplace it doesn't take much, but when we speak of private matters handled by the police, then there is perhaps an unwritten level of concern to reach before the harrassment is punishable. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Sheesh. The word "stalker" sure is thrown around lightly these days... Link to post Share on other sites
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