how to??

[new to this situation]

as are many other people on this board--I am also one who has lost a girlfriend because of getting "too close too fast" and not respecting her "personal barriers". I have read many of the posts and replies and see what mistakes I made--as well as I have a greater understanding of why some girls dont' like that.

 

my question is this---I understand that "game playing" is not always wrong, sometimes it may be needed in certain sitiations (my own opinion is "game playing" is only "game playing" when it is done intentionally for someone's amusement). I see my ex once or twice a week. Is it better for me to keep my distance and simply show her I can live without her but be nice about it? Or should I actually appear to be a SLIGHT bit upset with her and---while not going out of my way to be rude--not be nice to her when we do see each other?

[Tony T]

Game playing in many cases is just fine on the terms you described. But in the case of this particular girl, you just need to get out of her life. You hav already played your cards and she has opted out of the game. She will not make a good friend, either, because you are infatuated with her and she is looking for romance out there from someone who will be a challenge to her.

 

Consider this whole thing a lesson and make the necessary changes. Don't fall so fast. Be a challenge. Go slow. Be unpredictable. Only the most insecure of women will want you to fall in love with them instantly. Most want to be courted by an unpredictable, aloof, confident guy who can life with or without them. They know that true love takes some time.

 

So as far as this girl goes, just forget about keeping your distance or whatever. You need to stop seeing her on a regular basis. There is simply no point to it, no reason for it...unless you are a glutton for hurt. Write her off your list of romantic potentials. Then deal with her in whatever way you see fit. Yes, do be nice about it but NOT TOO NICE!!! Be a man!!! There is a slight chance that once she sees you absolutely could care less about her and that you have a great life beyond her, maybe she will be attracted to that. Who knows and who cares???

 

The time you are spending with her is time you could be looking for and finding the woman of your dreams. And when you do, GO SLOW!!!

[billy the kid]

Ok so do you or do you not want to be with this girl???? if you do then do it.. be with her... If not then live your life to the fullest, do things, go places, meet new people, but above all do not hate her, love her for being a part of your life and teaching you something...

as are many other people on this board--I am also one who has lost a girlfriend because of getting "too close too fast" and not respecting her "personal barriers". I have read many of the posts and replies and see what mistakes I made--as well as I have a greater understanding of why some girls dont' like that. my question is this---I understand that "game playing" is not always wrong, sometimes it may be needed in certain sitiations (my own opinion is "game playing" is only "game playing" when it is done intentionally for someone's amusement). I see my ex once or twice a week. Is it better for me to keep my distance and simply show her I can live without her but be nice about it? Or should I actually appear to be a SLIGHT bit upset with her and---while not going out of my way to be rude--not be nice to her when we do see each other?

[Deejette]

I agree with Tony. Don't see this girl again. It's over! Being available to her as a friend won't change the way she feels about you. Being the nice guy to whom she can talk about other boyfriend problems (potentially) is only painful. Sometimes we must have the discipline to not act on our impulses, but to stand back and say, "I am a person with dignity and rights that deserves the kind of love I need. I will not hang around trying to revive an old corpse. I will move on to someone who is looking for what I can provide and will be grateful for it.

Game playing in many cases is just fine on the terms you described. But in the case of this particular girl, you just need to get out of her life. You hav already played your cards and she has opted out of the game. She will not make a good friend, either, because you are infatuated with her and she is looking for romance out there from someone who will be a challenge to her. Consider this whole thing a lesson and make the necessary changes. Don't fall so fast. Be a challenge. Go slow. Be unpredictable. Only the most insecure of women will want you to fall in love with them instantly. Most want to be courted by an unpredictable, aloof, confident guy who can life with or without them. They know that true love takes some time. So as far as this girl goes, just forget about keeping your distance or whatever. You need to stop seeing her on a regular basis. There is simply no point to it, no reason for it...unless you are a glutton for hurt. Write her off your list of romantic potentials. Then deal with her in whatever way you see fit. Yes, do be nice about it but NOT TOO NICE!!! Be a man!!! There is a slight chance that once she sees you absolutely could care less about her and that you have a great life beyond her, maybe she will be attracted to that. Who knows and who cares??? The time you are spending with her is time you could be looking for and finding the woman of your dreams. And when you do, GO SLOW!!!