fancypants Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 I am not even sure where to begin! I am 24 years old and have been divorced for a little over 6 months now. My ex and i are still fairly good friends. So in the past few months one of my gal-friends has been inviting him out to hang out with her and all of my other friends and then they don't invite me out. Before my ex and I were split up all of my friends could not stand to be around him because he was so boring and he never wanted to do anything! So he has been a little disturbed as of why they invite him out instead of me! He tells me that when they go out all of my friends sit around an bad talk me! He tries to defend me, but he just can;t get a word in! I am not quite sure what happened to make my friends want to to this to me and my ex. I know that it really bothers all of them that we are still friends and nothing more! They can;t seem to understand how we can go out to dinner and a movie together, but we can;t be married! Is that a weird thing? So anyhow all of my friends which are mostly girls tell my ex that I am a party animal now and am on my way to becoming an alcoholic and that every time we go out I am bound and determined to hookup with any guy. In all reality I go out just as much as they do and I have no more than 1 drink...if that...since I only bring $5 with me to the bar and i don't accept drinks from guys. The part about hooking up with guys is due to the fact that i am a social person. I talk to girls and guys where ever i go. I have been that way since i was a little kid. I don't know what to do. All of my friends have been accusing me of being a different person since the split up! And apparently I am different in a bad way! I don't really think i am any different than i was before. Yeah, i might hang out with my friends more, but besides that i am still the same ol person...just happier. I am not sure what to do about my friends. I am not sure if I need to find new friends or what. They like make me feel bad if I am talking to a guy when we are out. A few weeks ago i got into trouble with one of my friends at the grocery store for talking to guy about "spoiled cream cheese" It was a completely innocent conversation. I haven';t heard from her since then and she told my ex the other night that she doesn't like to be around he because I am a flirt! All of my friends are either married or have boyfriends so i don't know if that has something to with the way my friends are treating me or what! I just am not quite sure what to do about them. I love all of my friends and there isin't anything I wouldn't do for them, but i am sick of getting stabbed in the back! What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Sundaymorning Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 If you are getting backstabbed by these so called friends, they are not your friends. LEAVE these friends and find new ones who will not do such things. Take better care of yourself, dump them. Link to post Share on other sites
southernbelle2 Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 sounds like those girls are just jealous of you...? its very rude that they are pulling that on you. maybe they're trying to hook up with him. but as a friend, they should respect you, i mean its an un-written rule that you dont get involved with any of your friends past relationships (guys), its just not right. have you confronted them about any of this? if they're your friends, talking to them about something like that shouldn't be hard. there is nothing wrong with you going out to have a good time and so what if you talk to a few guys, you're not married... anymore!! its really not any of their business what you do, unless you make it their business you need to let them know how you feel about the situation and if they cant respect your wishes... poo on them, they're not your REAL friends Link to post Share on other sites
ukie-cutie Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Oh goodness gracious! It seems to me neither are friends to you. They are all friends to each other. You should let them know how you feel . . tell them they have 2 choices . . to be your friend and no talking behind each others back or lose one of their very good friends! I wouldn't even confront them about the manner, just go on with your life, they don't deserve a second chance. If they we're any kind of friends they wouldn't gossip about you & say such false things about you as a person. I've learned, & I'm sure you will as well that . . You're going to meet alot of different people throughout your life, and you're just going to have to deal with people talking behind your back. These people can see that they are getting a reaction out of you & once people see that you don't care what they say, then they will stop talking about it. And if they keep going ahead with it, it shows they are jealous of what an amazing person you are, while they are going no where in life, & will go no where with there big mouths. Oh and lastly my dear, don't make them think you can be ran over like this! You can make better friends than that. But like I always say , "Don't let this one experience be your down-fall". Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Or, what I think is happening, is that your ex is voicing his worst fears and PRETENDING your friends said that. It's very easy to voice your suspicions (especially if they're well founded) and say "someone told me you did THIS" which immediately puts you on the defensive. What I would do is let your friends know that he's been putting these words in their mouths-if they're any friends of yours, they'll be outraged and pissed. If not, find new friends. Pronto. Link to post Share on other sites
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