WiselyNaive Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 today made 60 days nc...& i can say i feel better..i feel so numb though...i still think i havent gone through my emotions yet....today for the first time i was consistently pissed and angry about it all day(not meaning i thought about ti all dya but meaning when i did i felt no soft spot for him)..it started to hit me like..how or why would u ever do that to someone...i still cannot fathom...60 days nc is supposed to be of some significance...i think it may have been for me...i was angry...and i realized im too far in..i can NEVER break nc now...i also realized he wont either....yes he did unmentionable things that can never be forgiven but he is obviously okay with that..& if he can live with it then so be it....i really feel i deserve an apology but i realize i'll never get 1....so many things i found out after the breakup that i never got to be angry at him for....i never got to express it..and im sure he knows i know by now...if 60 days nc was the point of no return for me...it probably was 30 days nc for him...by not expecting an apology i may feel a bit better....majority of the hurt i felt was post break up..it was kind of like beating a dead horse..i just stood there & took it trying my best to show no emotion...i hate him I HATE HIM....i know this means im not over yet because only when i am fully indifferent will i be over it...but im okay..with how i feel right now...im hoping in the next month at 90 days there will only be residual feelings because only then may i have to worry about seeing him....i hate him...i hate him....i really hate him...and although this may hurt me more than him..i will NEVER forgive him. i hate him. this was just a vent.... Link to post Share on other sites
Aqua066 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I myself am at day 46 of NC and still have occurrences of anger towards my ex. In the beginning I honestly thought that she would reach out to me... She hasn't and I don't expect her anytime soon if at all. Maybe that has sparked my anger towards her even more I dunno. I do agree with a few things you've said though... After going 60 days you can't break NC now! No matter what. You should be proud of that accomplishment. Breaking NC would give them another victory... showing that they still have power over us. Don't ever give that back to them and besides breaking NC now would start the whole process of healing all over again. Again, great job on 60 days! Next thing you'll know it'll be 90 days, then 120, then you probably won't give a crap anymore... Stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
Author WiselyNaive Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 I myself am at day 46 of NC and still have occurrences of anger towards my ex. In the beginning I honestly thought that she would reach out to me... She hasn't and I don't expect her anytime soon if at all. Maybe that has sparked my anger towards her even more I dunno. I do agree with a few things you've said though... After going 60 days you can't break NC now! No matter what. You should be proud of that accomplishment. Breaking NC would give them another victory... showing that they still have power over us. Don't ever give that back to them and besides breaking NC now would start the whole process of healing all over again. Again, great job on 60 days! Next thing you'll know it'll be 90 days, then 120, then you probably won't give a crap anymore... Stay strong! thankyou & congrats at 46 ! you are almost there! Link to post Share on other sites
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