2sunny Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 she's lying. put a voice activated recorder in her car. another one in her purse... they are made to look like a pen. put a keylogger on her computer. check her car for a second "secret phone" has she provided ALL passwords to EVERY account? every little place she visits online should be full access on your end... she is supposed to be RE-BUILDING the trust she ruined- so SHE should be willing to give you any info necessary to invoke change that earns your trust back. any money spent should be accountable by her. anywhere she goes - she should be willing to tell you =where she's going, who she's with and when to expect her home. checking on her should be perfectly ok - as she has nothing to hide, correct? IF she's hiding ANYTHING - she's still cheating. and stop asking now - she slept with him. decide if YOU wish to stay with a cheater. then go from there by making sure she's willing to do full disclosure. trust is earned - IF she's not earning it - throw her out today! if she's not earning it... she's simply using you as her meal ticket while she does whatever she wants behind your back. that's not enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Author disco9000 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 I'm pretty certain she's not doing anything in the areas you mentioned. She doesn't go out, apart from with me or her parents and I work from home so I know she's not up to anything during the day. There's also nothing suspicious regarding her computer use. She said she's willing to do full disclosure and went into some detail about what they got up to. She maintains that they didn't go all the way. It doesn't make much difference to me whether they did or didn't, it's just whether she's telling me everything or not. She's doing everything else right. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 I'm pretty certain she's not doing anything in the areas you mentioned. She doesn't go out, apart from with me or her parents and I work from home so I know she's not up to anything during the day. There's also nothing suspicious regarding her computer use. She said she's willing to do full disclosure and went into some detail about what they got up to. She maintains that they didn't go all the way. It doesn't make much difference to me whether they did or didn't, it's just whether she's telling me everything or not. She's doing everything else right. you are contradicting yourself all over the place. are you sure you have clarity - or is denial so big that you: keep your wife locked up all day and night? she only sees you and her parents? that is NOT normal living. she's a woman not a dog. full disclosure wouldn't include 5 minutes of silence followed by completely avoiding and punishing you. it would include a long discussion about anything and everything you may or may not need to know = her truth - but she isn't giving you that - just giving you avoidance. she's not DOING everything right - stop lying to yourself - IF she were - you wouldn't be here, doubting yourself. YOU are in denial... you have work to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author disco9000 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 I don't keep her locked up - she's been doing that off her own back because she felt that was the right thing to do at this stage. We had the full disclosure discussion a few days back. Her truth was that they didn't go all the way. She answered any questions I had. The silence came after I called her a liar today. Link to post Share on other sites
Author disco9000 Posted May 28, 2011 Author Share Posted May 28, 2011 She's moved out. I'm done with her for good now, even if she begs to come back. I hope that doesn't change as I start to miss her. Time to focus my energy on myself and the kids. Just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone for your help and advice. The support here is awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
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