gaius Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 i live in the uk and have never been able to drive its never been a problem really. i see my friends who have cars end up using them to go to the corner shop thats a 2 minute walk away. unless you have a job that requires a car because you work far away i dont see why it would be of importance? I haven't had the pleasure of visiting England yet, but I understand you have some very good public transportation. Generally in the US there are very few people who live within walking distance of their workplace, and even if they do they can't walk to other places they have to go on a regular basis (ie grocery store, doctors office, etc etc). Being able to drive is pretty essential to being independent in 90% of the country, especially when it comes to being partner in a household that has 2 kids. It's also a cultural thing. If you don't have your own car or at least regular access to one you will get branded as a loser by many people. Americans value independence highly. Link to post Share on other sites
samspade Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 it really annoys me too.i think what makes someone beautiful is there personality... it doesnt matter how good you look on the outside if your a nasty person on the inside you will become more ugly Men are attracted to women based on looks to a much larger degree than vice versa. This is how it is, not how people wish it were. We are fare more superficial when it comes to initial attraction. Obviously, there are other factors. But if how you look on the outside doesn't matter, then why do we have anti-wrinkle creams, Weight Watchers, and Botox? In the sexual marketplace, women compete based on superficiality. The first thing a woman says to me when she meets a GF is usually "she's pretty." The first thing a woman says about another woman she hates or is jealous of is usually "she's ugly" or "I don't think she's hot." And I know a lot of women believe they are forced to look good because men control this industry or that, but the fact is that all women could stop using makeup and revealing outfits tomorrow and men would still judge their looks and select the best looking women first. And this is to say nothing of the fact that obesity is not compulsory. I'm only saying all this to tell it like it is. For men, looks matter. I've definitely met beautiful women that turned uglier once I got to know them, and vice versa. But, objectively, there are standards, just as women have standards for men (which are different). Women can attack that all they want, and men can pretend it's untrue, but it's the elephant in the room in a lot of these discussions and I'm not afraid to admit the unvarnished truth. SS PS, most of the people who work in fashion/cosmetics/womens magazines are either female or gay men. They're the ones perpetuating supposed "unattainable" bodies that often look like 12 year old boys. Most straight men want breasts and hips. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 my partner is certainly no oil painting. And neither for that fact, am I. But we have a really special thing going. I love his Mind - he loves mine.... He might love your mind, but must enjoy the rest of you as well. There has to be some sort of physical attraction for it to work so well. Link to post Share on other sites
SteveC80 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Men are attracted to women based on looks to a much larger degree than vice versa. This is how it is, not how people wish it were. We are fare more superficial when it comes to initial attraction. This is a huge myth ive been with tons of women intimalty and on a friendship level have allot of sisters and have heard womens thoughts and seen their actions women are just as visual and into looks as Men if not more they just hide it better Link to post Share on other sites
perfectlyunique Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Men are attracted to women based on looks to a much larger degree than vice versa. This is how it is, not how people wish it were. We are fare more superficial when it comes to initial attraction. Obviously, there are other factors. But if how you look on the outside doesn't matter, then why do we have anti-wrinkle creams, Weight Watchers, and Botox? In the sexual marketplace, women compete based on superficiality. The first thing a woman says to me when she meets a GF is usually "she's pretty." The first thing a woman says about another woman she hates or is jealous of is usually "she's ugly" or "I don't think she's hot." And I know a lot of women believe they are forced to look good because men control this industry or that, but the fact is that all women could stop using makeup and revealing outfits tomorrow and men would still judge their looks and select the best looking women first. And this is to say nothing of the fact that obesity is not compulsory. I'm only saying all this to tell it like it is. For men, looks matter. I've definitely met beautiful women that turned uglier once I got to know them, and vice versa. But, objectively, there are standards, just as women have standards for men (which are different). Women can attack that all they want, and men can pretend it's untrue, but it's the elephant in the room in a lot of these discussions and I'm not afraid to admit the unvarnished truth. SS PS, most of the people who work in fashion/cosmetics/womens magazines are either female or gay men. They're the ones perpetuating supposed "unattainable" bodies that often look like 12 year old boys. Most straight men want breasts and hips. i know how it is, just makes life suck a little bit lol also yes you can find someone who is attractive but that doesnt automatically make them dating material... ive found loads of good looking blokes to be total and utter pigs ..because of that i start finding them unattractive Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 She is pretty in the face but has two kids and plus size and because I don't drive she stopped texting and calling me. She knows why because since i live in a area where people RENT CARS and don't drive due to parking fees. But this is FUNNY and defintely a first because normally a woman with two kids knows that she is in no position to be picky-lol Now if she was CHILDLESS then I would not make a big deal but it's clear even with her plus size she has tons of options. Just because a woman is plus sized and has kids, doesn't mean they'd go out with anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
chuckles11 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 She is pretty in the face but has two kids and plus size and because I don't drive she stopped texting and calling me. She knows why because since i live in a area where people RENT CARS and don't drive due to parking fees. But this is FUNNY and defintely a first because normally a woman with two kids knows that she is in no position to be picky-lol Now if she was CHILDLESS then I would not make a big deal but it's clear even with her plus size she has tons of options. If you thought she was so undesirable, why did you bother to contact her in the first place? It must have been a pretty big ego blow to find out that you didn't even meet the standards of someone you thought should feel lucky to get any attention at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhillyDude Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 If you thought she was so undesirable, why did you bother to contact her in the first place? It must have been a pretty big ego blow to find out that you didn't even meet the standards of someone you thought should feel lucky to get any attention at all. Yes that is exactly right Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Ah, there you go. Sorted. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Yes that is exactly right Please tell me you are above 6ft tall but under 6'5, make 6 figures, own 3 houses, own your own business, have a garage full of cars, have rock hard abs, **** gold bricks and have a dick sculpted for the gods. Please get in your head that no one is lucky of your attention or anyone elses. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Sometimes women who have kids are actually more picky. Firstly, there's no pressure on them to find a man to reproduce with because they had their kids already, so they can take their time. Secondly, they're aware that they're not just choosing a boyfriend, they're also choosing a daddy for Junior, so they are more selective. Such women tend not to have a realistic idea of their own desirability (or lack of), and their standards can be completely unrealistic. In any case, she doesn't sound like a great catch anyway, so why are you even bothered? The kid already HAS a father! Some women get pickier... I know a few that learned from a bad baby daddy experience. I also know a woman currently living on alimony and child support 45k/yr... who has recently moved in her convicted child molester BF. Her boys are 5 and 8. She claims to be pickier than ever... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 dude you were rejected by a fat woman with 2 kids?? wtf? Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhillyDude Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 dude you were rejected by a fat woman with 2 kids?? wtf? I know right, I was doing her a favor-lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhillyDude Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 So maybe she's had some bad experiences with having to do all the driving to see a guy, who knows? I'm sorry you got ignored after the car thing (and maybe there were other issues besides the car that she didn't talk about.) Although I understand the frustration of being rejected for something that you wish people would look beyond, just as she is probably rejected for, it's still kind of petty of you to come on here and dis her for being a plus-size, single mom afterward. I experienced something like that with online dating -- I responded to an e-mail from a guy in a wheelchair, but I got no response from him after I mentioned I wasn't a Christian. So it's kind of like "Okay, thank you for pre-judging me...." But religion and disability are pretty big issues, and it likely wouldn't have worked out anyway. He was supposed to be on a disabled dating site not a regular dating site. So i don't think you were wrong in not wanting to take things further Link to post Share on other sites
OliveOyl Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I know right, I was doing her a favor-lol Maybe she picked up on the fact you wanted to pity-date her. And that wasn't terribly attractive to her. I have 2 kids, not only that, one of my kids is disabled. The guy I'm seeing now, not only is he glad to be dating me, he tells me repeatedly he feels like a very lucky man. Could you ever see yourself being able to say that about her? Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I see the PC police have already smacked you around and let you know the way of the world. Because all these women are chasing fat guys with kids :laugh:. Cut the guy some slack. I get it...you though this was a sure thing and even that didn't work out. Happens all the time. I actually find the women I want the most want me the most and those that I am not truly interested in are not interested in me either. I can score an attractive woman with a six-figure job and no kids regularly. I have never gotten so much as a response from an uneducated woman. Link to post Share on other sites
SteveC80 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I see the PC police have already smacked you around and let you know the way of the world. Because all these women are chasing fat guys with kids :laugh:. Cut the guy some slack. I get it...you though this was a sure thing and even that didn't work out. Happens all the time. I actually find the women I want the most want me the most and those that I am not truly interested in are not interested in me either. I can score an attractive woman with a six-figure job and no kids regularly. I have never gotten so much as a response from an uneducated woman. Sometiems ugly or mediocre looking women or women with baggage are more picky then pretty women with their sh-it together becasue theyre insecure and want to valdiate themselves through their mate and hes looks and status Link to post Share on other sites
lolo1234 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 You sure you didn't do or say anything else to turn her off? How do you know it was because of the car issue? That being said, the fact that you have obviously labeled her as "undesirable", may have left her wanting more. I am not plus size but I do have kids. I definitely look for the qualities of a decent provider even though I don't feel like anyone else needs to provide for me or my kids. I just don't want another person to take care of. I'd prefer for security and stability issues to be on par with mine Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhillyDude Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 You sure you didn't do or say anything else to turn her off? How do you know it was because of the car issue? That being said, the fact that you have obviously labeled her as "undesirable", may have left her wanting more. I am not plus size but I do have kids. I definitely look for the qualities of a decent provider even though I don't feel like anyone else needs to provide for me or my kids. I just don't want another person to take care of. I'd prefer for security and stability issues to be on par with mine She claimed that it was because I seemed like I was looking for a phone friend. We had one phone conversation that lasted 2 hours and I never brought up meeting because it was the first conversation. Of course it was a lie Link to post Share on other sites
Sabali Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 She claimed that it was because I seemed like I was looking for a phone friend. We had one phone conversation that lasted 2 hours and I never brought up meeting because it was the first conversation. Of course it was a lie Your first conversation on the phone lasted 2 hours? Wow. That is a long time for a first conversation. It's better to keep it shorter and leave some excitement for the first time going out. In any event, "plus size" women with kids still get action, believe it or not. Don't fall into the trap as if you are doing these women a favor. Men still go after these women in a decent number. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 (edited) But this is FUNNY and defintely a first because normally a woman with two kids knows that she is in no position to be picky-lol Well... I guess she is in a position of good self esteem and thinks enough of herself and kids to know that she doesn't need to lower her expectations and go out with someone who would treat her less than stellar.. Good for her... Edited May 19, 2011 by Art_Critic Link to post Share on other sites
Sabali Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Well... I guess she is in a position of good self esteem and thinks enough of herself and kids to know that she doesn't need to lower her expectations and go out with someone who would treat her less than stellar.. Good for her... Yeah, man, and the kids really are not all that much of a factor for many men including me. A woman with kids looks no more less desirable to me than a woman without them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PhillyDude Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 Your first conversation on the phone lasted 2 hours? Wow. That is a long time for a first conversation. It's better to keep it shorter and leave some excitement for the first time going out. In any event, "plus size" women with kids still get action, believe it or not. Don't fall into the trap as if you are doing these women a favor. Men still go after these women in a decent number. Yeah for sex. Men tend to do that in all states Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 She wasn't out of his league... if anything it turned out to be the other way around Link to post Share on other sites
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