thomas130 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 6 years ago I meet this girl at work who i really cared ago. She was very pretty and she knew it. She rejected me I believe because of looks issue. The reason I couldn’t let go because i felt if I fix something she would of become interested. Things were quite not that great with her felt awkward etc and she left. I haven’t seen in 4 years. I know she been in a 5 year relationship and I want to be happy and don't want to interfere. I can't get over making an idiot of myself and wish I could of being a better person to gain her affection. I miss her so much and just like to be there as a friend which i know isn’t suitable, and would be unfair on her boyfriend I achieve alot in my life the last 4 years done well for myself got my own place etc. However it feels all worthless I know people say there are other girls out there. But know of them will be her and feel my life is f**k. Don't usually post things like this but could do with some advice.. Am I weirdo for still feeling this way. Link to post Share on other sites
ummike26 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I got dumped recently for being about 20-25 pounds overweight. She left me for a personal trainer.. When you get dumped b/c of something so superficial it can mess with your head for a long time.. It's great you changed yourself and are a better person. However, you need to let the past go and move on.. Do not contact her at all. She doesn't deserve to know the new you. Find another girl who appreciates you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thomas130 Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 I got dumped recently for being about 20-25 pounds overweight. She left me for a personal trainer.. When you get dumped b/c of something so superficial it can mess with your head for a long time.. It's great you changed yourself and are a better person. However, you need to let the past go and move on.. Do not contact her at all. She doesn't deserve to know the new you. Find another girl who appreciates you. I would'nt say she does'nt deserve to know the new me. I wish what happen the past did'nt. Most of the time I am fine but say every 6 months I get really depressed over it again. I know in my head she is in a 5 year relationship she will probably most likely get married and have children with that guy, and I do want her to happy. i just selfishly I wish I was that guy I want her in my life and want part of hers. I know my feel my life is at end because I don't feel I can never be truly happen with another person. Im not saying there are'nt nice girls out there but to me they will always be second best. I wish I could of being an attractive looking guy back then because I probably would of got with her. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 It's been quite a long time mate. I know there's no time limit on healing, but I do worry that something is missing from your life that you're still thinking about this girl so much. The fact remains that you two didn't work out - maybe it was for the reasons given, but have you thought that it might be simply because you just weren't right for each other. I know it can be so hard, especially when/if two people get along so well and everything seems so right, but when things end there's often more then one reason. You need to accept that this girl was just one in 4 billion (at the last count) females out there and really may not have been as special as your mind is telling you. Like I said, try to find out why you're still thinking about her so much after so long, and don't worry about the reasons for the break-up. Just do things for you that you want to do. Accept she's gone and live your life. Believe me there is nothing worse than regret and one day you will find someone else, feel great and then look back and regret spending so long thinking about this one girl. Time to take her off that pedestal and put yourself up there instead. You deserve better, and once you accept that, you will be ready for someone new. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thomas130 Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 It's been quite a long time mate. I know there's no time limit on healing, but I do worry that something is missing from your life that you're still thinking about this girl so much. The fact remains that you two didn't work out - maybe it was for the reasons given, but have you thought that it might be simply because you just weren't right for each other. I know it can be so hard, especially when/if two people get along so well and everything seems so right, but when things end there's often more then one reason. You need to accept that this girl was just one in 4 billion (at the last count) females out there and really may not have been as special as your mind is telling you. Like I said, try to find out why you're still thinking about her so much after so long, and don't worry about the reasons for the break-up. Just do things for you that you want to do. Accept she's gone and live your life. Believe me there is nothing worse than regret and one day you will find someone else, feel great and then look back and regret spending so long thinking about this one girl. Time to take her off that pedestal and put yourself up there instead. You deserve better, and once you accept that, you will be ready for someone new. I never dated her. I think the really problem is that for me it was a looks issue that prevent her from liking me and some mistakes i made. I suppose your right about something missing in my life I started to go out more etc and most of the time Im ok. But the thing I can't get over more than the girl to be fair is I was'nt good enough for her that what really eats me up Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Whoa, who's saying you weren't good enough for her? She just didn't want to be with you. Just like I'm sure there's plenty of girls you don't want to be with. Don't beat yourself up over the reasons, it happens. You need to stop focusing on this and worrying about it. It was one girl who turned you down. Her loss, not yours. You'll never move on until you allow yourself to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thomas130 Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 (edited) Whoa, who's saying you weren't good enough for her? She just didn't want to be with you. Just like I'm sure there's plenty of girls you don't want to be with. Don't beat yourself up over the reasons, it happens. You need to stop focusing on this and worrying about it. It was one girl who turned you down. Her loss, not yours. You'll never move on until you allow yourself to move on. Alot of people said at the workplace don't you think you going for a girl out your league etc. It's still eats away at me. I know it's stupid I think that what the real problem is, not nessary my feelings for her. Edited May 19, 2011 by thomas130 Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 So, you're struggling to get over someone you were never with in any way, shape or form? You should really be worrying about women you have a realistic chance with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thomas130 Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 So, you're struggling to get over someone you were never with in any way, shape or form? You should really be worrying about women you have a realistic chance with. is that a polite way go for uglier girls Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 is that a polite way go for uglier girls not at all... just saying you're sweating someone you were never with. there are tons of women out there that you could develop an interest in. Link to post Share on other sites
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smudge21 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Alot of people said at the workplace don't you think you going for a girl out your league etc. It's still eats away at me. I know it's stupid I think that what the real problem is, not nessary my feelings for her. Ha, I love that line. People generally use it because they can't get a certain girl themselves. It's a justification for themselves. Just look around and see how many couples there are where they clearly are both in different leagues. Some women (probably most) do care more about personality then looks you know. It's eating away at you because you're letting it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thomas130 Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 You should talk to a professional about your feelings. You still haven't had "closure" after 4 years, which is far too long. Until you do so, you will feel unable to move on emotionally. I only person I like to speak to is her. Not to pursue a relationship just make my peace with her and just for her to get know me a little so she does'nt think im this crazy nutter. I have sent a message before she never responded. I just feel my life is truly f**ked. I know there more to life than just girls and there are more girls out there anyway but it's hard to explain. I don't think I can truly get over this. In my head i try and say this just another person nothing more special than the hundres I pass each day. But it does'nt work Link to post Share on other sites
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