Woggle Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 As most of you I know I switched jobs late last year and I am loving my new job. After working with a bunch of miserable with a boss who couldn't manage his way out of a paper bag I love working with great people and a boss who knows what he is doing and lets me do what I do best instead of making me run around while accomplishing nothing. That being said we are more friends or equals than a boss and an employee. I worked for him a while ago when I was still with my ex and after my divorce and in some ways I consider him a mentor. He was there for me during my divorce and we became very close. Working for him gave me a self esteem and confidence I never knew I had. When he left the place it went to pieces but we got back and he offered me the job I currently work at. Today he offered to let my wife and I stay at a cabin he has in the Pine Barrens. I mentioned to him that we wanted to try camping in the woods at least once because it is something we never did and he offered to let us stay there for free for a weekend as long as we leave the place clean. Is it a good idea to take him up on his offer since he never treats other employees like this? Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Yes, of course it's okay! I am close with my boss. We vent and bond over our mutual hatred for the owner of our company. Take him up on his offer- just the fact that your boss sees you as an equal says a lot about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 He is the owner of the company so there is nobody higher to go to. I just wonder if my coworkers might start to resent it. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Woggle, this is how it is with me: I am great friends with my boss, and his sister is a close colleague of mine. But to all intents and purposes, we have agreed to separate friendship from a working relationship. you (both) have to develop a "Worzel Gummidge" attitude. Worzel Gummidge is a British children's fictional character who originally appeared in a series of books by the novelist Barbara Euphan Todd. A walking, talking scarecrow, Gummidge has a set of interchangeable turnip, mangel worzel and swede heads, each of which suit a particular occasion or endow him with a specific skill. Work when it's work, not-work when it's not work. When you're at work, he's your Boss. A professional and mature, almost impersonal atmosphere has to be developed. When you're outside work, then it's a no-holds-barred buddy-buddy friendship. I was, and am still, very good friends with my ex-boss. We got on like a house on fire, and had so many laughs together. but she knew about 2 weeks before it happened, that I was going to be made redundant. She never gave me a hint, or a clue, or any inkling that I was about to lose my job. And I completely respect and admire her professionalism. Can't fault it, she was absolutely right to withhold that information. My 3 cousins work together in a family business. at work, they're colleagues. at home, they're siblings. And they make it work wonderfully. you can, too. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 He is the owner of the company so there is nobody higher to go to. I just wonder if my coworkers might start to resent it. So what if they do. My immediate boss still directs me, and still confronts me when she needs to. Despite the fact that we are friends- I let her do her job with me, I don't use our friendship against her. That's why we became friends in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 That's precisely the working relationship I am advocating. Really though, your boss should also be "taking note" of this. If he practises favouritism, it may prove to be disheartening to his other employees, and they might also resent him. He should show impartiality at work, no matter what his preferences outside of work.... Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 While this seems harmless enough, I would have to say that my gut reaction is that your boss may be crossing some boundaries here. It's one thing to be friends with your boss, such as go out to lunch/dinner together, invite boss to parties. It's quite another to accept "gifts" to speak that are just offered to YOU, and nobody else. That could be viewed as favoritism, and yes the other employees could begin to resent that. As D-Lish stated, that technically IS on them, but it could effect your relationship with your coworkers AND their relationships with your boss. It might make for a hostile work environment. I was in a situation like this at my old job, my boss was very good freinds with a coworker who pushed the limits of her job, slacked off,displayed unethical actions. Had it been anyone else, we would have been fired, but because my boss was friends with her, she could not bring herself to fire her. That in turn made us all pretty much resent our boss and effected our working relationship with her as well. It seriously did effect the way our unit ran. So in short Woggle, while this doesn't SEEM like that big of a deal, it could potentially cause some negative aftermath, as well as your boss continuing to blur boundaries such as asking you to do something unethical or illegal to cover for him. Not saying that your boss would do that, but blurring boundaries-even slightly-can lead to more serious issues in the future. Just saying. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Is it a good idea to take him up on his offer since he never treats other employees like this? yea i guess its ok but if he ever corners you in the bathroom with a tube of ky jelly you may want to reconsider Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 As long as you're in the private sector, I see no problems with this. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 i think it is fine. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 it all seems good! don't tell anyone about staying there. then they will never know. no reason to give out that info if it may cause any ill feelings. and leave the place spotless - then buy him a gift card to a restaurant or concert. that is the way gratitude looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Afishwithabike Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 It's a slippery slope. How would you feel if another co-worker got such benefits and you didn't? My gut reaction also is that your boss is crossing a line here. I've seen this happen at my workplace. At the last department I worked at, there was a supervisor who showed favoritism to a subordinate employee of his. She didn't openly talk about the benefits she received, but people knew. People find out these things eventually and the boss wasn't very good at being subtle. Other employees resented their co-worker because of the "perks" she got that others didn't. It wasn't that the others necessarily wanted those perks, but they felt it should have been offered to everyone or no one at all. People felt that she wasn't getting the difficult or tedious projects because of her friendship with the boss. Under their breaths and at the water cooler, people would make comments to each other about her. Eventually when our annual workplace survey came out, someone made anonymous comments about the situation and the entire agency of 500 people could see what was going on. It embarassed both of them, but a lot of people were glad that someone finally said something about the favoritism. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Take him up on the offer, Wogs! He obviously respects and trust you, otherwise he wouldn't allow you access to his place like that. If you turn down the offer, he might feel you don't trust him or whatever. Talk to him about your concerns. No harm in that, and he'll respect you all the more for being up front with him as well as your consideration for how the other staff in the office might feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 I took him up on the offer. Him and I already have a history that goes back before I started working her so people probably think there is favoritism already. He went with us to help us by a boar since he is an expert on them so the perception is already there. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Buy a 'boar'....? Have you any idea how big those things get - ?! And their dental hygiene leaves a lot to be desired.... couldn't you just buy a cat, like other people?? (Ok, ok....I think you mean 'boat'.... although of course, I have been wrong before!) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 I meant boat. He is an expert on them and knows his stuff so he helped us pick one out. I have no desire to own a boar. A cat is good enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts