valparaiso2 Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 Dear all. I am a male, 25 years old. I had been dating a girl for 1½ years, and broke up with her, which was quite hard for both of us. We began seeing each other again half a year later, and afterwards we began dating again, and have been together for more than a year now. My problem is that I still love her very much, but I fell so overburdened by being in the relationship. I have also been thinking about another girl (but I would never be unfaithfull). I think the bottom line is that I dont believe my present relationship has a future, but I respect her so much and even though I am not a "chicken" in most other areas of life (at least I dont think so) I just have a feeling of beeing "numb" - not able to do anything. I can not break up with her, and I can not stay in the relationship either. For the last many weeks I've just been thinking and thinking, and been postponing the break up week after week. We're both students and in some weeks from now we will both start our exam preparation, as we are both studying hard I have the feeling that I cannot break up with her before the exam, and so this comes up as another deadline, and it's all getting so frustrating. I know the proper advice is that I should break up with her for her's sake too, but still I have a feeling of being numb, and unable to do anything. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have already broken up with her before. Afterall I still like her so much, and I keep saying to myself that I must be absolutely sure before I break up, so I dont make that old mistake about breaking up, then going back again, and it all confuses me, I really have problems knowing what to do. All advice would be very welcome. Thanks alot in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 12, 2004 Share Posted April 12, 2004 I always quote this from my Mom: It's better to have a painful end than a pain with no end. You can stay for years, have children, mortgages and respective families all intertwined and STILL feel like you do now....but then have a much harder time getting out of the relationship. IF there is hesitation and you don't feel complete in this relationship.....then who are you fooling by moving forward. It isn't fair to you and it isn't fair to her. She deserves to be with someone who really wants her in their life.....not someone who is settling for her because they aren't sure how or what to do with their unfulfillment. Assess if you originally went back into the relationship because you truly loved HER as a person....or if you were tired of being alone, missed her company or were afraid you couldn't replace the relationship with someone who more met your expectations. It's in those questions that you may be able to find the answers you are seeking. Good Luck my friend!!! Arabess Link to post Share on other sites
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