brokendreamz Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 You're probably a mess right now - hurts doesn't it? It almost makes you feel better by thinking it's all your fault, you might even be blaming yourself... WELL DON'T!!! You are not in a position to make this assumption. NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU THINK YOU WERE, DO NOT MAKE ANY DECISIONS BASED ON THIS. I am 4 months out. It still hurts, I miss her like crazy but I know I'm getting better - I'm nothing like I was at the beginning, when I was beating myself up and kicking myself etc etc, and she was letting me!!! Only now am I getting a clearer perspective... IT DOES TAKE TWO TO TANGO. Go NO CONTACT. Work on yourself (you are the only one you can trust) and wait before you make any serious decisions. Oh! and good luck - time really is the only thing that'll help. Link to post Share on other sites
BlindRage Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Hey brokendreamz, It's good to hear you are doing well. I remember how you were doing a while back -I was doing the same -. Great piece of advice for the newly singles. It does work to go NC, it lets you heal and never put the blame on yourself. As you've said, " it takes two to tango". Link to post Share on other sites
NicoleM Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 I wish I had followed NC but now I am telling everyone to please go NC. I technically never got dumped but one day he just stopped responding to my texts,emails, etc. I contacted him after not hearing anything and asking him just to tell me it was over and he never had the courage to tell me and it hurt 10 times worse knowing he didn't really seem to care. Link to post Share on other sites
Pikachu Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Almost 3 months here and I have to agree that time really is the only healer. I still miss my exe everyday.....pretty much all day but its nowhere near the way I was in the beginning. It is amazing how different your mind operates over time, even if your not even trying. I beat myself up over the breakup like crazy afterwards but now feel like no matter what I did I never deserved what she did to me. The worst part is now I regret how pathetic I acted towards my exe at the end. The begging and pleading. But we all do it (at least most do), so Ill just look at it as a learning experience. I still struggle with NC everyday but after awhile I did start feeling like she chose this and if she wants to talk to me she will contact me. Now only if I could get out of the rut ive been stuck in since the breakup maybe I could go on with my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Renard99 Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I'm on 4 months out myself and I'd just like to add to the great advice Brokendreamz has posted. There WILL be set backs on the way to recovery. I had a big one recently that nearly put me back to square one, but, knowing what I know now, I'm getting back up on my feet quicker than before. It can be simple things like seeing her in the street that set your emotions tumbling (I work in the building next door to my ex so this happens often for me) but It WILL get easier Link to post Share on other sites
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