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someone help me get over this feeling...


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theelementsofstyle

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and 7 months. About 10 months into our relationship, I experienced a panic attack which led me to doubt my love for him and our relationship in general. It was a really hard time, but I struggled to get over it. Ever since then, I have overanalyzed every aspect of our relationship, how I felt when he touched me, just making sure that I was still in love with him. He left for college shortly after my panic attack, and that has only added to my frustrations. Things have changed a lot, and I think my initial problem was triggered by the fact that, as a senior, he had gotten out of high school earlier than me and I was at school alone(I had the panic attack within that first week he no longer went to school with me). A lot of our moments are wonderful, but I think I am constantly held back by this fear that maybe something was lost in our relationship from that time. He recently came home from college and our first night was absolutely wonderful, and then I had another sort of panic attack. It makes me physically ill to think that we could no longer to be together. I miss the way things used to be at the beginning of our relationship, before he went to college and everything. I cannot really imagine myself with anyone else, but I need this feeling of uncertainty to go away, and I just cannot figure out how. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!

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average guy

Is there something specific that causes the panic attack? Did he say something that caused it? Or that you were thinking about when it happened? I have panic attacks and I know the can be horrible, but usually something triggers them and you need to find out exactly what cuases it before you can deal with them.

 

As far as him going away to college and your wanting everything to be like "way things used to be at the beginning of our relationship" I'm not sure the ever will be again. It does not mean they will be worse or better, just different, you are both still growing and discovering who you are as people.

 

I would hang in there if I were you - learn to recognise what triggers your panic attacks and handle them (deep breathing, etc.) but do keep an eye on him as university is a big new world, and I don't want to make you parinoid, but he will meet other people, and I'd hate to see you get blind-sided by him moving on. You may already sense this and that is what is causing your panic attacks. (Have you made plans together for you to follow him to the same college or town?)

 

Anyway, let us know how it goes and I'm sure someone here can help you :)

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