photogeek Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 I have this old mentality that a friendship is a two way process. You are each there to help each other. You stick your neck in their life every once in a while to check up on them. But I have this one friend, I would say she has become a good friend over the years in the last 2 years that I have known her. We each have shared some personal things about our lives, and so I thought she could be there for me if there were things going on- someone to vent to. She does that to me, she will sometimes come to me with her problems, venting about life, work, and anything going on. She appears to only call me now when she wants to talk about her, if only it's about her, but this all seems to have progressed recently. For example, last night she messaged me on facebook to talk about some things since she just moved. She kept going, and I posted that I was looking for a new job because I was tired of my job. She replied "Me to" and then continued talking about herself. Of course that was one of many instances. It irks me a little, but the time I have put into the friendship (and she is pretty cool to hang around) But I don't know how much longer I can stay since I feel like someone she just uses. Link to post Share on other sites
Badenov Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Been there, done that. The only advice I can give is that if you just want to hang out with her, don't let her talk about her problems. Change the subject or say "let's not talk about depressing things." There will never be any quid pro quo, so find someone else to vent to (these forums are a good start). You'd waste your time telling her how you feel, because she's too selfish to care. I know it sucks, but I've had a lot of friends like this, & if you let her go on using you the resentment will just keep building up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author photogeek Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 Oh yeah, I have found other people to talk to, and these forums! It just initially caught me off guard. Even if it's not depressing things she is talking about, but just everything is about her. What she did, what she did at work, etc.. But for sure, ill try that next time.I do agree though, there has been some sort of resentment building over the last couple of months. Link to post Share on other sites
Datura Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 Well for one, maybe you should ignore her when she messages you on facebook, and keep your responses curt over the phone when she's being egotistical. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 You say this is something that has only progressed recently. I wonder if there is something going on with her that maybe you don't know about. You could try mentioning to her that she doesn't seem like herself lately and seems unhappy a lot more than usual and ask her what is up with that. She may not realize how she is acting. If that doesn't work, then I would just spend less time with her. Link to post Share on other sites
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