Guy I'm dating wears a pinky ring cut down to size from his former wedding band

[amandan940]

CAN ANYONE GIVE ME THEIR OPINION ON THIS MATTER. I HAVE JUST STARTED DATING SOMEONE I HAVE PLATONICALLY KNOWN FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HE WAS MARRIED FOR A FEW YEARS THEN FOUND OUT SHE WAS CHEATING ON HIM AT WORK ( THEY WORK TOGETHER AT A LARGE MANUFACTURER). IT WAS AN UGLY NASTY DIVORCE AND NOW AFTER ABOUT A YEAR HE IS HAPPY AGAIN. HE IS CLOSE FRIENDS WITH A FAMILY MEMBER OF MINE WHO KNOWS HIM WELL AND SAID THAT HE IS NOW ADJUSTED AND HAPPY (AS HE HAS DATED A FEW OTHERS BEFORE ME). THE PROBLEM? (OR IS IT?) HE WEARS A PINKY RING THAT WAS HIS WEDDING RING (CUT DOWN TO SIZE OF COURSE). IT IS A LOVELY RING. HE WEARS IT ON HIS LEFT HAND. I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS AND NOT ABOUT TO SAY ANYTHING TO HIM. IS IT JUST A PIECE OF JEWELRY OR A SOMETHING MORE?

PLEASE HELP WITH SOME SAGE ADVICE. THANK YOU

[Tony T]

You'll have to wait until you've dated him a while to say anything. Meanwhile, take a course on how to type using caps and lower case so your posts will be easier to read...thanks. He'll love you more and so will I.

[Arabess]

I can understand where this would bug you .....but it probably means nothing to him. Maybe later, you could suggest he trade it in on another one.

[Crys0369]

I disagree...it probably does mean somethin' to him but you should wait to ask...

 

Although I do agree on the caps thing...

[dyermaker]

Or, you could have some gawdamn trust in a man to sort out his feelings. If you think, that after a 'NASTY DIVORCE' and infidelity, that he's still attached to his ex-wife, you don't belong in a relationship with him. Leave his ring alone. People have 100% volition over their own feelings. Don't be the arbiter of someone elses.

[reasontosigh]

I have a friend who was once engaged - he bought a ring (to the tune of 1100 bucks!) for himself to wear during that time. They have since broken up entirely, but he liked the ring so much he simply wears it now on his other hand.

[moimeme]

I still wear my old engagement ring. It's a beautiful ring, doesn't look like an engagement ring, and has zero sentimental value. I just really like it.

[UCFKevin]

Guys shouldn't wear pinky rings. Period.

[MustBeGoingCrazy]

I think he wears it to remind him of previous experiences. I don't think there is a problem with remembering life, but at the same thing, there is a problem with dwelling on certain sectors. It sounds to me like he wishes to move on from his ex, but not forget entirely about the whole thing, so he wears it as a reminder of what they had (they were obviously in love at one point)

 

I wouldn't have a problem with it unless you were a serious couple... when you first start dating, it would be a grievance, but I wouldn't see a need for him to change what he did until it was more of a serious point.

[ThisGirlNameKD]

Maybe he just likes the ring. He picked it out, probably paid alot of money for it, I think that's pretty resourceful to cut it down to size and still wear it. The fact that he cut it down and is not wearing it on the ring finger should let you know it ain't no thang.

[bluechocolate]

There could be all sorts of reasons why he's continuing to wear his wedding ring. Maybe it's there to remind him how NOT to go wrong with his next relationship. In which case you could be pleased that he's wearing it. If it indeed was a NASTY divorce I doubt he's wearing it to remind him of his ex-wife - or perhaps it's there to remind of how she was before the divorce so he doesn't get mired down in feelings of hatred and bitterness. Or perhaps, as some have already pointed out, he simply wears it because it is a nice ring (you've said so yourself).

 

Regardless - it's just a ring - a thing - a lump of gold. Of itself it has no emotional value whatsoever - only what he, and more importantly in this case you, attach to it.

 

Anyway, you state that you've just STARTED dating - so who knows? You may discover that you're not right for each other. In which case the entire issue becomes irrelevant. Wait and see how things are going and then one day, if it still conerns you, gently ask him about the ring. You may be surprised by his answers and you may be even more surprised when he offers to take it off if it bothers you!

[wideawake]

Originally posted by UCFKevin

Guys shouldn't wear pinky rings. Period.

 

Damn...that was going to be my only comment on this.

[FreeMe]

Originally posted by Tony

Meanwhile, take a course on how to type using caps and lower case so your posts will be easier to read...thanks. He'll love you more and so will I.

 

ROTFL - Tony, you slay me!!

 

amandan940 -- I think he probably just felt it was the practical thing to do with the ring. Why let it sit in a drawer somewhere going to waste? I would have done the same thing.

 

To those who said guys shouldn't wear pinky rings, that's just ridiculous!

[tattoomytoe]

It is classier than a notch in the bed post!

 

Maybe he is just marring for jewelry.

[HokeyReligions]

The only person who knows why he wears it is him. Ask him.

 

When I had my wedding ring reset a few years ago I took the side diamonds out of the engagement ring I had from my first fiancee to use in the setting, then I had the old ring made into a brooch with the center diamond. I'm not going to waste good diamonds and platinum!

[brashgal]

I still wear my wedding ring on my right hand occasionally, and it isn't because I feel ANYTHING the least bit nostalgic/romantic for my ex. It's a beautiful ring just going to waste in a drawer otherwise.

[FolderWife]

His old wedding ring? Maybe he calls it his divorce ring Maybe he wants a reminder of his mistake

[tattoomytoe]

oh i got it!! That is how he keeps his ex-wife Wrapped around his little finger!

[Amen!]

Originally posted by UCFKevin

Guys shouldn't wear pinky rings. Period.

 

That's for damn sure!

[Amen!]

Originally posted by UCFKevin

Guys shouldn't wear pinky rings. Period.

 

That's for damn sure!

[Aire]

I'm sure the ring means something to him as the relationship did at one time but I don't think it is something you should worry about. It's just part of his past.

[dizi]

Originally posted by brashgal

I still wear my wedding ring on my right hand occasionally, and it isn't because I feel ANYTHING the least bit nostalgic/romantic for my ex. It's a beautiful ring just going to waste in a drawer otherwise.

 

However, would you feel that it's appropriate to wear your wedding ring around your ex and his fiance just because it's beautiful? Do you think that would be disrespectful? Couldn't you wear a different ring for such an occasion? I could use an opinion. Thanks!