PelicanPete Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I'm just gonna post this for the hell of it since I'm a bit confused with what's going on here Just gonna clarify some Freudian psychology for those who are reading this Basically Freud believed there was a structure to the human psyche which is in a sense the "self". It consisted of three parts: 1. The ID - Often side by side with "The Pleasure Principle" and is looked at as a sort of primitive and instinctual unconscious desires. It knows no right or wrongs/good or bads of society and motivates basic urges like sex, violence, eating, etc. The closest you can get to understanding your ID is dream interpretation, and even then that's just scratching the surface. Think of the ID simply as "Your desires" 2. The Superego - Basically the opposite of your ID. Acts somewhat as a conscience, challenges the ID with morality, and what is "socially acceptable". Its a sense of authority, like a parent or a mentor. Think of the Superego as "What's acceptable" 3. The Ego - Ego is somewhat mashed inbetween the intimidating ID and the massive super ego to try to satisfy both as best as it can. The Ego isn't you, it can be thought of more as reason and "common sense". A lot of people have small egos, which get bullied around by their ID and Super ego and is unable to stand up for itself. In order to feel better, it uses things called Defense Mechanisms to relieve stress, guilt and anxiety. If you have a large ego, you are more accountable for your own actions and don't need these defense mechanisms to satisfy your self. Freuds Defense Mechanisms: Denial, Projection, Sublimation, Repression, Rationalization, Compensation, Fantasy, Regression, Reaction Formation. His daughter Anna was also a psychologist and added to her fathers list, but you can just look those up . Link to post Share on other sites
sinnister Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 damn..just trying to get him to see that he's being to hard on himself..if he didn't hit, yell, or drive her away being emotionally abusive...the post b/up parts are always a slippery slope...there's a lot of emotional investment/devaluation going on there and it can bring out the worst in us. Just saying he was too contrite and his worse doesn't seem near as bad as others. Link to post Share on other sites
PelicanPete Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 damn..just trying to get him to see that he's being to hard on himself..if he didn't hit, yell, or drive her away being emotionally abusive...the post b/up parts are always a slippery slope...there's a lot of emotional investment/devaluation going on there and it can bring out the worst in us. Just saying he was too contrite and his worse doesn't seem near as bad as others. True that buddy, I understand. It's common for people to beat themselves up a bit in these situations, it's a way of coping with what's happened and often just a stage. It probably is a defense mechanism because the ID wants the relationship, while super ego isn't letting them, so ego cant satisfy it therefore employs a defense mechanism - but I don't know if it is a defense mechanism which one it would be, for I don't know them well enough Link to post Share on other sites
sinnister Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 True that buddy, I understand. It's common for people to beat themselves up a bit in these situations, it's a way of coping with what's happened and often just a stage. It probably is a defense mechanism because the ID wants the relationship, while super ego isn't letting them, so ego cant satisfy it therefore employs a defense mechanism - but I don't know if it is a defense mechanism which one it would be, for I don't know them well enough worst thing is when the dumper feels the exact same way..and I can tell you their mech----PROJECTION. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EgoJoe Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 Hehe, go Pete. I know the Freudian model is fairly accurate and I'm aware some of it is a defense mechanism yet I am just trying to do right by myself. I'm not being too hard on myself, I want to be better. I wasn't "emotionally" abusive yet I was intense and pushed boundaries at bad times. Not all my fault, takes two to argue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EgoJoe Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 (edited) I'm wrapping up this thread for any who read it down the line. I did end up contacting her and it did not go well. I wasn't ready, she wasn't ready and more confusion ensued. Time and space when requested are best taken by both parties despite confusion. When you are not being treated how you would prefer you must voice it at the time of the problem and walk away. Putting space between the catalyst and your response is the most self empowering thing you can do. Will I speak to her in the future? Probably. Did I send an angry message sayig I didn't want her back? Yes. Is it true? Yes and No. The truth is my Ex is going through something I had just come out of. In her own way, respectively. I never lashed out with insults. I'm glad I didn't but I regret even the things I did and did not say. For what that is worth. It was a valuable life lesson. Edited June 15, 2011 by EgoJoe Typo. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts