Mauschen Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Listen - she isn't able to keep the kids from you - it is called alienation. Document this every time it happens. Proof of this won't be good for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilovemywife7 Posted June 3, 2011 Author Share Posted June 3, 2011 ok just to update…i backtracked on 180 very badly last weekend! After asking my wife for a fairer distribution of the finances which she has now agreed to she was annoyed to find out I had moved without telling her.. She then told her mother she wanted rid of me and agreed with her mother that the marriage was dead…her mother seems to be almost encouraging her?...then her mother told her that my niece had seen that I had set my facebook status to single last February when we were still living together….next thing my wife is wailing in floods of tears crying why didn’t he want me, what was wrong with me!!!! and to top it all I never set my status to single I just removed the married link as my wife had removed herself from facebook..i never use facebook, which anyone can see… So I spoke to my sister in law who told me if I want my wife back I have to understand that she has a broken heart and although she is along way down the road to leaving I should be trying with her, by showing her love and trying to win her heart back…the theory is that although she is very angry and wants to leave me etc they think she still loves me…im not so sure but some of her actions are a bit inconsistent…she seems to get jealous if she thinks I may be with other women, she has kept my wedding rings but given me back all other jewelry which I thought was odd as she said she was going to sell it all (they are cheap rings), she is very angry all the time with me and told me she only stopped wearing her rings to annoy me..im not sure these things are enough really but another female friend who knows the circumstances (but not my wife) has also said she thinks she still loves me…they think moving back into house would be a bad move, as it will just pi** her of more with me… So sat night i asked her to write down the things where I had gone wrong to help me in future relationships..she said it was a waste of time and wasn’t going to do it..and then she reeled of the usual list angrily; I wasn’t supportive enough (I don’t think is true) I didn’t show enough affection (this is probably true) She gave me her heart and I broke it, she cant trust me with it again She thinks we should both move on now So I told her I loved her and said I didn’t want us to separate…she put her head down and rushed out past me saying she didn’t love me anymore…so I said I just wanted you to know how I feel about you and then I left Then Monday morning she sends an email saying we should sell the house as soon as possible…so I reply with a long email trying to explain im sorry and to think about what she is doing, not that I expect us to reconcile but for her to forgive me and us be friends etc citing examples of times in our past when we were happy…I tried not to be patronizing or whingy..but I did explain I had spoken to my sister in law..and she sends this back.. That was awful to read….I am busy at work. I can’t say I am surprised that you would believe someone else and suddenly understand after someone else has talked to you about it, but never when I tell you. I suspected as much after your drastic turn around in attitude on saturday. You cant tell me anything that I cant already remember myself! But I want to move forwards with my life not look backwards. I am sick and tired of being miserable, you are like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde swinging from one emotional extreme to the other. I am more relaxed and happier than I have been in years. You cant persuade me into taking the course of action which you’d prefer. You need to stop focussing on this and give yourself a greater length of time to adjust. theres been no contact since really… my sister in law thinks I should just ignore her saying these things and just be patient and keep just saying nice things and trying and then maybe her heart will start to melt, especially once the nights start to draw in and she may start to feel lonley? uhm…suggestions anyone???.. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 So I spoke to my sister in law Sister in law? Would that be your wife's sister, or your brother's wife? If the former then I would take her advice with a HUGE pinch of salt. She is totally biased. theres been no contact since really… my sister in law thinks I should just ignore her saying these things and just be patient and keep just saying nice things and trying and then maybe her heart will start to melt, especially once the nights start to draw in and she may start to feel lonley? uhm…suggestions anyone???.. Dude. That is a complete load of utter romanticized bull crap. That is the kind of advice that comes from too many chick flicks with Hugh Grant and happy endings. Real life is not like that at all. If you follow this advice then your wife will see you as a complete wuss, doormat and not a MAN at all. Nobody respects a doormat, they just wipe their feet on it. Have you seen a lawyer yet? I think this is a lost cause to be honest. Even if you are still trying to work things out, it can't hurt to take some legal and financial precautions. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and all that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilovemywife7 Posted June 3, 2011 Author Share Posted June 3, 2011 its my brothers wife i guess it does look like a lost cause..just find it hard to understand why she is so determined to do it when there hasnt really been anything that bad happen, just alot of stress over the last few years and some badly chosen words i am at the stage now where im abit fed up with her BS to be honest, but just dont want to go and blow it by doing something rash...i read somewhere that time is your friend in these cases, so i guess patience is the way forward where possible i think she is going to want to talk about sellingt he house though this weekend.. im in two minds whether just to say ok, let s do it and do whjats best for me now...or just wait and see if she actually does anything...shes great at talking but a bit slower on action usually Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilovemywife7 Posted June 3, 2011 Author Share Posted June 3, 2011 yes, my brother and his wife are both solicitors so covered there they dont actually like my wife that much!..but they know i want her back really and think its better for the kids She has some experience of medioation in separation cases and when we spoke she seemed to see things in exactly the way my have had described them..i.e. having a saturday free now while i have the kids seemed to be a big deal to my wife, but as myself and my brother said why couldnt she do that before or even now and stay together...but his wife explained that my wife would see it differently and the way she put it was exactly as she had said...so it seemed there was some female intuiution that i was missing? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 i think she is going to want to talk about sellingt he house though this weekend.. Do not agree to any major decisions, and certainly do not sell the house, until you've taken legal advice. If your brother is a solicitor then he may be able to help but he would still need to know all the details before he is able to advise properly. Every situation is different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilovemywife7 Posted June 3, 2011 Author Share Posted June 3, 2011 yea, i will try and not rush into anything regards selling the house for now..thanks for the advice Link to post Share on other sites
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