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OM Wants to Resume R, I Don't


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bentnotbroken
I don't understand you at all. You say you absolutely cannot tell your husband about the affair, but then you keep saying you try to bring it up. Why would you bring it up if you're sure you can't tell him? Just tell the poor guy or stop half-bringing it up! You're probably making him crazy.

 

I also don't understand why you say you need to be done with your OM but then you message him all night long. I think you just like playing games with people's heads. :-( What a very sad way to live. :-(

 

 

This is not a problem. She is scared, she is anxious and she wants to maintain some form of control over the situation:sick:. But it isn't hard. You can't try...you do. Open mouth, say the words "I cheated" and let the chips fall where they may.

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whichwayisup
I don't understand you at all. You say you absolutely cannot tell your husband about the affair, but then you keep saying you try to bring it up. Why would you bring it up if you're sure you can't tell him? Just tell the poor guy or stop half-bringing it up! You're probably making him crazy.

 

I also don't understand why you say you need to be done with your OM but then you message him all night long. I think you just like playing games with people's heads. :-( What a very sad way to live. :-(

 

It's that type of gaslighting game behaviour that drives other people to DO things.. Like the OM deciding to tell her H..Or her H to have an emotional breakdown.

 

I agree with Bent, just say the actual words "I cheated" instead of being passive and hinting at it. Your H KNOWS already! HE isn't stupid...He's waiting for you to come clean and JUST SAY IT!

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whichwayisup
LOL. I'm obsessing over this too much. It's over.

 

What's over? Contact with the OM? If so, how is that possible when you keep allowing him back into your life and talking to him? Your way of doing NC..Kind of sucks.

 

What's over? Your marriage?

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