KellyD Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Since I first met my good friend's husband he gave me a bad vibe. They came over to my house for a get together with other friends but if I left the living room and went into the kitchen there he was. He seemed to be "following" me from room to room. I noticed it and kept trying to either leave that area or get someone else's attention to come join the "conversation" as a way to not be "alone" with him. As the years have gone on I have had different encounters with him but overall have completly tried to avoid and type of "couple" get togethers becuase he makes me so uncomfortable. Once I went to their house to watch a fight and other friends of ours were there as well which is why I decided to go. He kept making me drinks and "sampling them" and my other friends that were there were noticing and thought it was strange. At one point in the night he was sitting by me at the table and stroking my hair. I as did my friends made comments to him about it and he just said my hair was sticking up or something ridiculous like that. once everyone was getting ready to leave I was going as well, and the husband kept almost blocking me saying I wasn't leaving yet. It was all done in a "joking manner" but I was not liking it. I had to kind of divert his attention and dart out the door. One of the tings that is also truobling is that my frind is always artound, always there when these things go on and doesn't seem to mind at all! She even will leave a chair open for him to sit by me or stand on the other side of him so he is always standing by me. We recently went to an amusement park and every single line we stood in she stood behind him I was getting super pissed and not wanting to make a scene I just asked that she stand by me becasuse I really want to stand by my friend! It didn't last. And the most recent incident was where my friend and I were going to have a drink after work and she asked if her husband could join us, I agreed and while we were there my sister called and invited me over and then incvluded them as well when I told her I was with them. AS usual he was sampling my drink (from my straw!!!) My sister asked me to stop by the store for her on my way over and so my friend and her hubby followed. At the store he was (as usual) standing by me .....and while I was trying to decided what to get I had a deep itch in the top middle of my back I was trying to get at. He asked me what I was doing and I sarcastically said I'm scratching my back. The next thing you know he sticks his hand up the back of my shirt and started to try to get the screatch for me! I snapped get your hand out of my shirt and he didn't stop. I literally had to move my whole entire body away from him to get his hand out of my shirt. My friend is standing there watching this and then she says to me "that's how he scratches my back" and I sais I DONT CARE HOW HE SCRATCHES YOUR BACK HE'S YOUR HUSNBAND NOT MINE!!!! I was so upset and then they were still going to follow me to my sister's house. once there we went out back and were joining the rest of the group and she was once again going to leave the chair by me for him to sit in and she was going to sit on his other side. I snapped at her and demanded she sit by me! now she has been trying to get me to go out with them relentlessly and I keep saying no way and its as if she is trying to get a reaction from me instead of just being direct and asking me if there is something wrong. I don't feel comfortable talking about it with her because i don't see any way she can take this well and our friendship not be affected. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Who knows? Maybe in some way known only to that couple you're functioning as the H's 'fluffer'. I've seen stranger things go on in marriages my exW and I interfaced with. I ended up in a couple of situations similar to you, with the genders reversed. Heck, it often was going on in plain view of my exW and the woman's spouse. I still get confronted with this type of thing, though am better at diffusing it politely, generally by starting a conversation with the woman's spouse. If you feel uncomfortable, maintain a polite distance, even if it means shelving the friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Pretty obvious here that they are a swingin' couple and want you to be part of their fun. That is why the wife is encouraging/not stopping his behavior, probably because she wants a 3-way. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I don't know what is going on with this friend of yours, but it's really screwed up. She obviously knows that her husband likes you, and she is encouraging the two of you to be around each other. Maybe they want to have a threesome with you. Not that there's anything wrong with wanting a threesome but you've made it clear that you're not interested. It's rude of them to keep up their behaviour. Maybe that just turns them on even more though. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Is there any 'chance' that your 'friend' would like you to join her and her husband in the bedroom? I mean, it could easily be that she is the creepy one in all of this. Although some allowance has to be made for the mere possibility that she wants you sexually and has no idea how to even ask whether you'd be interested, let alone facilitate the possibility. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Yes, he's a creep. I don't know what's going on with your friend but maybe she's into threesomes or maybe she's completely under this guy's thumb and daren't cross him. She seems to think he's acting innocently but you don't feel that. It's good that you stopped him scratching you like that. That was drawing a boundary. I'd advise you to draw clear boundaries and not take anything from this guy. Stop him from sampling your drink, for example, and sit away from him regardless of what your friend suggests. It's very weird that your friend seems to be pushing you together. Maybe you could ask her why she's so keen you sit near her husband. Ask her what she thinks of him sampling your drink. It would be interesting to see what justifications she gives. Say you would rather sit near her than her husband. I think if you make it clear to her and she still ignores it, then there's something wrong in your friend's head! Do you have to meet your friend with her husband? If you are not happy with this situation and don't feel comfortable with enforcing boundaries with him, just don't visit them or agree to meet up with them outside. Maybe you'll have to lose these friends rather than put up with a creep. Link to post Share on other sites
Entropy3000 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Creepy -- Check Runaway Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 welcome to LS- First post and all this advice and no response from the OP. Interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Jade 02 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Pretty obvious here that they are a swingin' couple and want you to be part of their fun. That is why the wife is encouraging/not stopping his behavior, probably because she wants a 3-way. I just read this thread,and totally agree with you guy!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Beyond creepy, including your friend's positive reaction. Don't be afraid to assert yourself. The next time he stands next to you just say directly to him "Just stay away from me, you're creeping me out". Link to post Share on other sites
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