Sexy Timeframe

[found_it_myself]

I've been in love with Lily since August. She had a boyfriend at the time but immediately wanted me as her girl. They sort of took me on as a third party in their relationship, though Lily was clear that she wanted it to be just us (he agreed at first, then called her selfish for asking for it -- despite repeatedly cheating on her).

We had a few threesomes, but we were never allowed to do anything alone because he'd make her feel guilty for it. Now they've been broken up for three months, Lily is happier than ever, and she and I are still hanging out. Every time we do, she hints that she wants to date me, and last night she told me this straight.

I want to snatch this glorious beam of heaven without hesitation, BUT. A) When do I stop carrying the title Rebound Girl? B) Here's the stupid part: I'm way stuck on body anxiety. While I was in worse shape during our previous sexual encounters (and she was attracted to me then), I'm still not comfortable with my body and wish I could wait until I am to have sex with her. When we hooked up before, there was always a guy taking part in the festivities which certainly distracted from my body and helped me camouflage. I know I will be a much more exciting and confident lover once I make peace with my body -- the lover that I know I am mentally (kinky, energetic, intense) instead of the removed and constructed lover I am right now. I'm too in my head, obsessing and analyzing, to enjoy sex. It's awful! Should I wait to initiate physical contact until I feel more body-confident? I'm afraid if I wait much longer she might think I'm uninterested, or just move on. What can I do?