About 4 months NC

[Layzie89]

She broke up with me about 5 months ago, I begged, pleaded, did everything I could to try and get her back for a whole month all to no avail. After a month of that I decided enough was enough and went full NC. It's been about 4 months since that day (she's only tried to contact me once since I started NC, about 3 weeks into it..I did not budge) and I just wanted to give a little update of how I feel today, the progress I've made and how my life has changed since.

 

What I did to help myself move on and heal:

-Started NC and stuck with it no matter what.

-Deactivated my Facebook.

-Read countless threads on LS that encouraged me to keep looking forward.

-Went to the gym alot more

-Bought a mountain bike and have been going riding every weekend.

-Started hanging out with friends more often, giving myself the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends

-Gone on a few dates, had alot of fun.

 

Today I feel so much better than I did 3-4 months ago:

-She isn't the first person I think about every morning when I wake up.

-She isn't the last person I think of before I sleep.

-I'm able to keep my mind occupied on other things going on in my life rather than her.

-When the phone rings or I get a text message for a SLIGHT second I do wish it's her but I am no longer saddened by the fact that it isn't her.

-I hold no anger towards her and the pain she put me through, I have completely forgiven her for everything and anything.

-Thoughts of her, although still fairly frequent, are much more brief.

-I hardly dream of her but when I do it's always of us happy and back together. It used to kill me waking up realizing it was only a dream but now days, it doesn't hurt me at all. I look at it as days happily spent, and my mind just reminiscing. It actually puts a smile on my face, remembering those good old days.

-I can HONESTLY say that I hope she's happy wherever she's at, whatever she's doing and whoever she's with. I love her still and I always will, I'm happy for the time that we shared together but that's that. No regrets, no bad vibes.

 

If for some reason she decided to contact me today or in the near future to reconcile, I would certainly have the strength to say no to her. The truth of the matter is, I don't know her anymore. She's a stranger to me, and were two entirely different people now. I fell in love with the girl she was not who she is today and vise versa as well. And I'm perfectly okay with that.

 

It's only been four months since I've started NC and I know I still have a long way to go. I know for a fact I'm still not ready for any kind of friendship with her if the opportunity arises. Not that I have any lingering anger towards her, but just that I've come this far with NC and I guess I'm kind of scared? Scared that if I start talking to her I would be set back in healing. I'd rather not take that risk until I know for sure I can handle it.

 

I was put to the test today actually...I signed on to MSN Messenger (I never use MSN, I just went on to chat with someone after I bought something on craigslist)...5 minutes later she signed on. It didn't surprise me when I had absolutely NO urge to talk to her. If we went back 2-3 months I would have jumped on the opportunity in a heartbeat to talk to her. But not today. It felt good knowing that I'm TRULY moving forward.

 

I guess I'm writing this for all of you whose just starting NC and are having doubts about whether or not it works. I'll tell you now NC is the best thing I've done since the breakup. I'll admit, my intentions of NC at first was not in the right place...I was hoping that it would actually get her back. But if you give it enough time you realize the way NC works is it allows you to be content WITH or WITHOUT your ex. Sure I miss her, sure I wonder how it'd be if we were back together. But NC has allowed me to be perfectly fine without her. I cant stress enough how necessary NC is for a dumpee.

 

For all of those that havent started NC - START. For those just starting NC as well as those that have been doing NC for a while now - KEEP AT IT! I promise you all, you WILL feel better eventually. You just have to allow yourself time.

 

To everyone here on LS, thank you all for all the advice and tips you have given me since day one. You're all ***n great people and I owe it all to you guys.

[2011]

I've been doing it a similar amount of time and like you my intention was to get her back but I do not think she wanted that as she never contacted me again, that was nearly 6 months back although we have spoke early on on MSN and that - now I avoid that generally as it pains me if we speak because she is always hostile and a sort of low-level aggression, which I feel is totally selfish and unjustified.

 

You are right it is the best thing to help you move on and distance yourself from them but the first few months for me anyway were hell absolute hell. I would jump every time my phone pinged thinking this may be her but it never materialised and well that's six months now so take the hint mr lol! Met someone else now and this also helps you move on.

 

2011