justlooking Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 I am late 30's and have been married 18 years with two great kids. (yah, I got started early, lol) I can honestly say that my wife is my best friend, we share almost everything. I have always had a huge sexual appetite. This has actually been more of a bad thing. Age old story, we meet in late teens, great sex all the time, then married, kids, then sex once or twice a week. (used to be everyday, sometimes twice or more.) Went years like this, constantly pressuring her for more. Kids are older now we have less stress and more time, consequently we have sex on average of 3-4 times a week. Everything I read says that this is more then the national average for people in similar situations, however I still crave sex non stop. There is not a day that goes by that I don't have very graffic thoughts on this subject. It drives me crazy to the point, that it interferes with my job at times and my overall attitude in life. It sucks to constantly feel unsatisfied. It's not fair to my wife and family, but I feel out of control. At times I feel like a freak because of all this. Don't get me wrong my wife is great in bed (she is very over weight but moves good for a big girl, lol) I have never cheated on her nor do I want to, but mentally my mind is all over the place. Well there it is, the first time I have ever put these thoughts into words. Is there anybody out there that can relate? mental advise? medical advise? Link to post Share on other sites
Juggs Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 Have you thought about seeing someone professionally about this? If anything interferes with your job or your life, it is usually deemed a "problem" or an "adiction". The fact that you are seeking advise and help and that you recognise that it effects your wife and family are all good signs, in my non-qualified opinion. My husband has similar issues but he refuses to see that he might be the one with the issue.... I am the one that has a problem as far as he is concerned. Not to get too personal or anything but you did not mention if you um... "take care of things yourself"... Do you? If not, that might help keep things in check. I take it you have discussed this with your wife as well... What is her take on things? Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 If this interferes with work and your attitude, it sounds like you have an addiction problem. You're not functionally well because you're thinking of sexual thoughts? Yeah, I think you need to see a professional or read up on sexual addiction. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 You're not functionally well because you're thinking of sexual thoughts? In which case every male over 12 is ill. Someone, quick! Find me an ambulance!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Women are like irons. Men are like light bulbs. You have to give her time to think about it, and want it. If you are having mental issues with dealing with these thoughts, yes, definitely see a professional. You have an addiction. 3 or 4 times a week is a great number for a long term marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Juggs Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Originally posted by Swamp Women are like irons. Men are like light bulbs. Can I use this? That's a GREAT analogy! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Sounds like an upcoming John Grey book title! Link to post Share on other sites
Aonz Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 To most people, sex has become extraordinarily important. Being uncreative, afraid, enclosed, cut off in all other directions, sex is the only thing through which most people can find a release, the one act in which the self is momentarily absent. In that brief state of abnegation when the self, the `me', with all its troubles, confusions, and worries, is absent, there is great happiness. Through self-forgetfulness there is a sense of quietness, a release; sex becomes an overwhelmingly important problem. In daily life we are mere gramophone records, repeating phrases that we have learned; religiously we are automatons, mechanically following the priest; economically and socially we are bound, strangled, by environmental influences. Is there a release for us in any of that? Obviously not; and where there is no release, there must be frustration. That is why the sexual act, in which there is a release, has become such a vital problem for most of us. And society encourages and stimulates it through advertisements, magazines, the cinema, and all the rest of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts