Thinking About Ex but it is going to be okay

[9Lives]

I have learned here recently that we all struggle with thinking about the ex. I feel relieved to know that Im not the only one and it must be part of the process of going our separate ways. I get comfort from that because I felt like because I think of him then Im not moving foward and I want to move forward because he has and I must.

 

the biggest thing I realize is that he/she is going to be on your mind for a while....Its normal and you should EXPECT it. Sometimes you can feel them thinking about you as well. I know I can. We did share a lift together and it was not all bad.

 

But again, the biggest thing to realize is the person is going to be on your mind....face it!! It is normal and part of the process. But it doesnt mean that you are not moving forward with your life. It does not mean you are NOT trying to move forwarad or DOING the right things to move forward...it just means that you are thinking of that person and its gonna happen.

 

I hope this helps someone because it helped me.

[jonny78]

It does help, thankyou.

 

I still cry sometimes, it's been nearly 4 months NC for me - at times my mind still races and I can get just as upset as day 1 when I think about what happened.

 

But I know I must be making progress and moving forward, I'm 4 months NC - I am in such a better place then I was 4 months ago, sometimes I just don't realise it.

 

I heard (unintentionally) that my ex argues ALL the time with the person she cheated with and left me for and everyone thinks they are a joke. Though I didn't go looking... I thought that information like that would make me happy - I must admit all it did was set me back a bit. More reason to accept it's over if she hasn't contacted me after all that!

 

But deep down, I am glad she hasn't contacted me... There is a reason why I have her mobile number and e-mails blocked.

 

I hope that one day she grieves over me, and as harsh as it sounds, I also really hope that she feels guilty when she wakes up and realises what she did. Guess i'll never get an apology or explanation from her if I haven't in 4 months eh!

 

I have my closure though

 

Don't know what my point is in all that, just an update from myself - really happy for your post, I like the positive in it - and it makes me feel less guilty for still thinking about her even if she isn't thinking about me!

 

We don't need to feel guilty for having feelings, just proves were genuine =)

 

You sound like a great person, we'll grow stronger together, and come out on top - i'm sure of it.

 

Your friend,

Jonny.

[9Lives]

It does help, thankyou.

 

I still cry sometimes, it's been nearly 4 months NC for me - at times my mind still races and I can get just as upset as day 1 when I think about what happened.

 

But I know I must be making progress and moving forward, I'm 4 months NC - I am in such a better place then I was 4 months ago, sometimes I just don't realise it.

 

I heard (unintentionally) that my ex argues ALL the time with the person she cheated with and left me for and everyone thinks they are a joke. Though I didn't go looking... I thought that information like that would make me happy - I must admit all it did was set me back a bit. More reason to accept it's over if she hasn't contacted me after all that!

 

But deep down, I am glad she hasn't contacted me... There is a reason why I have her mobile number and e-mails blocked.

 

I hope that one day she grieves over me, and as harsh as it sounds, I also really hope that she feels guilty when she wakes up and realises what she did. Guess i'll never get an apology or explanation from her if I haven't in 4 months eh!

 

I have my closure though

 

Don't know what my point is in all that, just an update from myself - really happy for your post, I like the positive in it - and it makes me feel less guilty for still thinking about her even if she isn't thinking about me!

 

We don't need to feel guilty for having feelings, just proves were genuine =)

 

You sound like a great person, we'll grow stronger together, and come out on top - i'm sure of it.

 

Your friend,

Jonny.

 

Jonny, Im so happy it helped you!!!! Do me a favor and just dont forget that. You will need to remember this when the ex just pops up in your head at any time...any moment...any place....any second. It is going to happen ALOT. But be encouraged cause you already KNEW this would be happening. So keep doing whatever you are doing positive to move forward. Accept that THAT person is going to be living in your head for a while because they are. Just remember that!

 

But you will get thru this, it might take a long long time but it can only get better. Knowing that THAT person is only in your head for a while but doesnt mean you are not moving forward should help you with the journey of getting your life on the track you want for your future. Be prepared and this will only make you mentally stronger.

 

WE can do it.

[0hpenelope]

I have learned here recently that we all struggle with thinking about the ex. I feel relieved to know that Im not the only one and it must be part of the process of going our separate ways. I get comfort from that because I felt like because I think of him then Im not moving foward and I want to move forward because he has and I must.

 

the biggest thing I realize is that he/she is going to be on your mind for a while....Its normal and you should EXPECT it. Sometimes you can feel them thinking about you as well. I know I can. We did share a lift together and it was not all bad.

 

But again, the biggest thing to realize is the person is going to be on your mind....face it!! It is normal and part of the process. But it doesnt mean that you are not moving forward with your life. It does not mean you are NOT trying to move forwarad or DOING the right things to move forward...it just means that you are thinking of that person and its gonna happen.

 

I hope this helps someone because it helped me.

9, it's a little funny that I thought of you this week. I looked through my past posts and saw one of our exchanges in, what... 2009, 2010? We've come pretty far. I like reading my posts from that time just because I sound so put together and if I was like that, I can get back to that ol' me, too.

 

To get back on topic, I agree that thoughts of the ex are normal. What strikes me as curious is when I start reading up on people who seem to think that something "has to be done" about those thoughts, and most courses of action to take are the ones that break NC. Nope, they're just thoughts and memories. They hurt and sting for a little bit and eventually, we get used to them floating around in our brains - just like that memory of a delicious, unforgettable meal we had sometime ago or that pleasant person we met up with by chance and haven't spoken to again.

 

Someone who's made that strong of an impact on us is going to be on our minds for a while. I'm okay with that and I agree that everyone else will be too. For them, it'll just hurt for a while.

 

Happy to see you're okay!

[9Lives]

Well I'm happy you were thinking about me. I'm doing okay. I feel like this is the final step to him getting out my life. Its like a ghost who is constantly coming around. Now that I have accepted it, it probably won't be so bad. At least I don't have to try to fight what is a long battle that will one day jsut disappear for good on its own. Thank goodness. I thought because he is on my mind it meant I'm not moving forward. That has been bothering me a lot but its not so. I'm doing just fine!