Atom Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 Hi, i am posting this thread in hopes of some good advice from someone who may have been involved in a similar situation. Here's the deal, i work at a gas station okay, i see this girl alot who lives in the same apartment building as me, i think she is beautiful so after about a month i fianlly ask her for her phone number, she replies" i live with my bf" So i am like okay thats cool. well i work on automobiles on the side, i passed out flyers to get some buisness at my complex, the next day i get a call from this woman i asked for her number, she asks about me "re-charging her a/c" so i tell her that i will need to get some prices and i will call her back, she gives me her number. well about 10 minutes later she calls back and asks me if i have any plans for that night, i said no and she invited me to meet her "friend" and go out for some drinks. well we end up going out, her friend is not my type,we end up back at my apartment, the one who has a b/f ends up in my bed! we end up having sex okay. the next moring they leave, she calls about 2 hours later to tell me that she has my work shirt in her car, she offers to bring it over, so she does, we end up having sex again! she told me that she will have to break up with her b/f if we had sex, we had sex twice, she goes home to him and tells him what she did, he apologizes for treating her like crap etc...she comes over agin the next night and wants to stay with me, so she sleeps here with me okay, we end up having sex again! she tells me that she wants to be with me okay. well the next morning we wake up and she looks sad, she says she's sorry but we need to end things okay so i'm like do whatever makes you happy. she leaves and i have not talked to her since, it's only been about 1 day, but i like her alot and think we could have a happy relationship, i think she is scared to leave him since they have been together for 4 years she needs security,and she isn't sure if things will work out with us. i foolishly told her i can't predict the future, thus prolly making her even more un-sure and less likely to leave him to be with me. so for rambling, but how can i get her back? i want to be with her, if i am distant will she be curious and call me or come over? should i assure her that things will be okay? she says that she likes me alot, i make her happy yet she seems to stay with him for security. please some good advice thanks guys! Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 but how can i get her back? You never had her. Let her sort herself out. She's confused. If she got into a relationship with you it would be an unhealthy one and more than likely it would not work out. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 Brother, I think you've been had! This chick smelled that you wanted sex, she gave it to you, and that's all she was planning on giving you. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 hurtingandconfused is spot on - it sound like it's only been a few days so your emotional feelings for her should subside quickly. Also try putting yourself in her boyfriends shoes. How would you feel if your girlfriend was sleeping around on you? Do you want to be the cause of those feeliings? Do you want to be the "other" man? How can you be sure she isn't sleeping around with other guys as well? Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 The lady is what is defined as a player. It was a purely sexual relationship on her side, and as other people have said, she may very well have done this with other guys before. She assumed you had no problems with casual sex, as she notified you in advance that she had a live in boyfriend. She's not leaving her boyfriend for anyone, including you. Think of it from this perspective--you do become involved in a relationship with her, one day she's driving around, and sees a good looking guy at a store. . . Who wants to be in her boyfriend's shoes? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Atom Posted April 13, 2004 Author Share Posted April 13, 2004 See thats the thing according to her she only had sex with one other person which is her boyfriend i was her 2nd. i believe her because most of the time you can tell if a woman is a player, but i truly believe she is not, she also said that what we did "meant something to her" thanks for all the advice guys, the truth hurts but i guess i am just confused. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 Originally posted by Atom See thats the thing according to her she only had sex with one other person which is her boyfriend i was her 2nd. i believe her because most of the time you can tell if a woman is a player, but i truly believe she is not, she also said that what we did "meant something to her" thanks for all the advice guys, the truth hurts but i guess i am just confused. You believe her? On what basis? Please - you're now being naive at best. She has cheated on her boyfriend - as harsh as it may sound, in my book that makes anything she says suspect. And of course what you did "meant something to her". Putting out the garbage means something to me and it doesn't mean that I'm in love with the garbage. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 I feel sorry for her boyfriend. Not only is she a player.....but a cheater and a user. There is no future with a person who is that selfish. The BEST thing she could've done for you is to move on and not let you get any deeper entagled in her silly self serving life. It sounds harsh....but it's just true. When it comes to your heart....it can be stubborn. It can cause you to be deaf, dumb and blind. Get BEYOND that and take a good look at this girl. You've lost nothing. Would you really want someone like this to be the mother of your children? She didn't meet you, fall in love and leave her boyfriend who is supporting her. She USED you and HIM at the same time. It's probably not the first time she's done this....and certainly not the last. Consider yourself lucky....and find yourself a decent girl with a caring heart. Link to post Share on other sites
fredrolin Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 Her relationship with her boyfriend will eventally end, and since you were a part of it all she will probably blow you off as well. You were used. She got what she wanted/needed from you and is in no condition to start another relationship. Be happy with what you got...I wouldn't complain!!! Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 Well she does what a lot of young women do when they are being treated like crap by teh guy they love. She sleeps with someone else to give her ex revenge and a wake up call. She has accomplished that and moved on. Consider yourself lucky that she did not end up yours. This way her cheating and manipulation are somoene elses problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Atom Posted April 14, 2004 Author Share Posted April 14, 2004 I know the truth hurts, i appreciate all the replies and i am glad now that she doesn't want to be together. i know alot of men prolly think i'm crazy, what more could you ask for, sex no strings attached! i mean alot of guys i know would love to have sex and then move on, but i guess i let myself get attached, but things are better now, thanks guys! Link to post Share on other sites
sienna Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 HA! Would you like to be dating with this girl for four years and have her cheat on you? You better think about her playing around like this, sounds like she wants her cake and eat it too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Atom Posted April 16, 2004 Author Share Posted April 16, 2004 No but i think that things happen for a reason, i think we were meant to meet and do what we did. i see her everyday, i feel like a woman who was just used(lol) why can't i stop thinking about her? i try to but it's so hard. just when i think anything can't be better, something bad happens and ruins it. i don't understand what she seesd in him. security prolly, why else would she stay with someone who she is not happy with. she says that he' got it out for me, yet i see him almost everyday and he doesn't say or do anything. it's so hard to meet women who are good and i actually have some common intrests, we had alot of the same intrests, blah, blah, blah. i will stop now, how do you guys suggest i get over this feeling(like a women who has been used, lol) Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 Chalk it up as an experience--maybe the sex was great, but the woman personally is a user. Their are single girls out there you could have great sex with, who don't use anyone. It's better not to get involved with someone who makes it apparent how they treat their current boyfriend. Be glad you're not that poor guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Cutie314 Posted April 16, 2004 Share Posted April 16, 2004 Atom I am sure if you just tried to go without talking to her for a week, you would see more clearly what you would be getting yourself into by persuing the relationship. I think you should really take a step back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Atom Posted April 17, 2004 Author Share Posted April 17, 2004 yeah i thought about that, but anyways your cute how old are you and are you single, i would like to get to know you. Link to post Share on other sites
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