Need some "good" advice

[Joe]

Recently me and my girlfriend of three years had a big break up. We lived together for 2 1/2 years of the relationship. I'll try to keep this short as possible. About a month ago she told me she had been cheating on me for 5 months and the next day she dumped me for the "scum bag" roommate!! I had to witness her having a relationship right in front of my eyes for three weeks, because we shared an apartment. Now I'm out but I feel like hell, I've never been so hurt in my life. Here's the twist. She tells me two days later after the breakup that she felt trapped with me and I was too serious but I'm the one she wants to marry and maybe we can get back together in a year. But now she is living with this scum they go everywhere together, she has no friends that aren't his, neither of them trust each other. Her family has told her they want nothing to do with her as long as she is with this guy. He's been in trouble all his life with the law, he's jealous, he lies, he's a manipulater. I just want to get her away from him and so do all of her friends. She is not even allowed to go out with her friends without him, why is she letting him control her like this???? I gave her all the freedom she wanted. I feel like this is my fault. I think part of problem was my grandfather, who I was very close to, died in December and I kind of went into my own world and kind of shut her out. But instead of her communicating to me if I needed help or she needed attention she went out and cheated on me. I still love her and care for her. I don't want her back in my life right now. I just want to get her away from him he is just going drag her down.

[Tony T]

This girl cheats on you with your roommate in the same apartment, right in your face, and continues to carry on with him right in your face after you find out...and you want her back??? EEEEWWWWWWW...you have got a long way to go in life.

 

This girl is a cheap imitation of a scuzzbucket. So you don't pick roommates or girlfriends very well, but there is hope.

 

Unless you just hate yourself totally and want to condemn yourself to a life of shear hell on earth, you will move on and forget this chick.

 

Don't blame the death of your grandfather. Those special people in your life are supposed to be there for you to help you deal with situations like that. If I had to bet, I'd put my money that your grandfather's spirit is shining down upon you to help get this worthless female out of your life.

 

This girl has done so many rotten things to you, has shown you she has no consideration, loyalty, respect, morals, etc. and could care less about your feelings and you actually want her back. I'm really sorry but it would be against every molecule in my body to help you get someone back who would continue to destroy you.

 

I really hope others who post here will give you some helpful hints on stealing this girl back and making her once again a part of your lifeyuk, I actually wrote that.

[Brayden]

wow man, that letter really hit home. It sounds VERY familiar. You are doing the right thing in my opinion.

 

Brayden

Recently me and my girlfriend of three years had a big break up. We lived together for 2 1/2 years of the relationship. I'll try to keep this short as possible. About a month ago she told me she had been cheating on me for 5 months and the next day she dumped me for the "scum bag" roommate!! I had to witness her having a relationship right in front of my eyes for three weeks, because we shared an apartment. Now I'm out but I feel like hell, I've never been so hurt in my life. Here's the twist. She tells me two days later after the breakup that she felt trapped with me and I was too serious but I'm the one she wants to marry and maybe we can get back together in a year. But now she is living with this scum they go everywhere together, she has no friends that aren't his, neither of them trust each other. Her family has told her they want nothing to do with her as long as she is with this guy. He's been in trouble all his life with the law, he's jealous, he lies, he's a manipulater. I just want to get her away from him and so do all of her friends. She is not even allowed to go out with her friends without him, why is she letting him control her like this???? I gave her all the freedom she wanted. I feel like this is my fault. I think part of problem was my grandfather, who I was very close to, died in December and I kind of went into my own world and kind of shut her out. But instead of her communicating to me if I needed help or she needed attention she went out and cheated on me. I still love her and care for her. I don't want her back in my life right now. I just want to get her away from him he is just going drag her down.

[Brayden]

sorry...minus the cheating.

wow man, that letter really hit home. It sounds VERY familiar. You are doing the right thing in my opinion. Brayden

[Nina]

You can't control other people's behavior. If she doesn't recognize that her new relationship is unhealthy, there's really nothing you can do.

 

I had a similar thing happen to me, except it was my ex and my best friend of 10 years. I felt so hurt and betrayed, at first I wanted to get back together, but I realized that once someone has been that hurtful to you, they have a higher likelihood of doing it again. Be careful.

[Deejette]

You sound like a caring person that could share your love with someone who would really appreciate you. Obviously she couldn't care less about you and has shown it by flaunting this new relationship in your face. Even though you are attached to her, it's better to clear your life from her and find someone who will give you the love you need. There is someone out there looking for a nice guy like you and if you are still tangled up emotionally with this cheater-chick, you won't be available to them. So get yourself free from this toxic situation and move on to better people and the love you deserve.

You can't control other people's behavior. If she doesn't recognize that her new relationship is unhealthy, there's really nothing you can do.

 

I had a similar thing happen to me, except it was my ex and my best friend of 10 years. I felt so hurt and betrayed, at first I wanted to get back together, but I realized that once someone has been that hurtful to you, they have a higher likelihood of doing it again. Be careful.