Zeze Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 My husband had an on and off affair with woman since 2008. I recently found out by reading his personal and work emails, and from what I could tell in his personal emails, they broke up 7 months ago for the last time. A couple of weeks ago, however, one of his co-workers contacted her because a job opened up as my husband's assistant. She said no to the job. It was a full time position and she's apparently a stay-at-home mom. The girl emailed my husband's direct employee, the one looking for the replacement (since he's too busy) a few days later, to thank the employee for considering her. The employee emails back saying that she had just talked to my husband about her and mentioned that the other lady had reached out to her. She then says "if this became a part time position, would you be interested?". The girl says no, claiming it's because she won't look for a job until the end of the year and will be looking for a FT position, but if the position is still available then, she'd of course consider it! Here's the thing: it was a position working part time for one dept. and part time for my husband! After my husband heard what she said, he turned it into a part time position for the other dept. only! And he's no longer looking for an assistant!! He had the email trail with the girl forwarded to him by the employee, even! There were also a few comments in other emails about how difficult it would be to not have an assistant there (when he made a decision to turn that position into PT, for the other dept.). In other words, he is making other people work harder to save the job for her! Am I right to think that he's saving that position in the budget until the end of the year to bring her back?! Isn't this a little suspicious? (By the way, he makes all the hiring decisions and chooses which are part of the budget, the hours, etc.) I am thinking about waiting until then to see if he really wants her and if I'm right, then see how it goes. If it's really over, I would forgive him, but I'm also considering counseling, but not telling him right away. Am I right to assume he had that reaction because he wants her back? I would appreciate your honesty because I can't discuss this with anyone at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Just out of curiosity, how old is this child that she stays at home for? Have you confronted your H about his EMA? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zeze Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 The child is not his. The affair started after she had him, it started over emails and he saved them all so I read them. No, I haven't confronted him. As I said in the q, I want to see if he really wants her back first. I think he does, but he hasn't actually hired her. As I also said, I might forgive him if it's over for good. Link to post Share on other sites
Kristi can't sleep Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Hi Zeze, I am confused. If this is true, omg, I don't how you can stand it... He doesn't know that you knew about the original affair? IMHO, offering her ANY position after she voluntarily left the company is proof enough that he wants to resume the relationship. Otherwise, i cant imagine he would risk having her back in the office if for no other reason than fear she might tell someone about the affair, and that it would get back to you. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but I would absolutely tell him you found out about the original affair, ESPECIALLY IF YOU PLAN ON STAYING WITH HIM! Once he hires her back, 'firing' her may not be an option (legally) so even if you confront him and he ends it - with them working together, how would you ever know if it was over or not? Wow. What a horrible thing to endure. Sorry your in such a painful situation. Link to post Share on other sites
nordic Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Hi Zeze, I am confused. If this is true, omg, I don't how you can stand it... He doesn't know that you knew about the original affair? IMHO, offering her ANY position after she voluntarily left the company is proof enough that he wants to resume the relationship. Otherwise, i cant imagine he would risk having her back in the office if for no other reason than fear she might tell someone about the affair, and that it would get back to you. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but I would absolutely tell him you found out about the original affair, ESPECIALLY IF YOU PLAN ON STAYING WITH HIM! Once he hires her back, 'firing' her may not be an option (legally) so even if you confront him and he ends it - with them working together, how would you ever know if it was over or not? Wow. What a horrible thing to endure. Sorry your in such a painful situation. read the post kristi. she wants to know what he will do. only way to do that is to not blow her cover just yet. makes sense. but leave him if he goes back to her, or you will feel very very low. Link to post Share on other sites
dyiosah23 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 In a relationship, communication is always the key to success. Try to talk to him nicely you don't have to be suspicious all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
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