my husband preformed oral sex on a friend right in front of me!

[lackofrespect]

this story may seem so off the wall and unreal.. but i kid you not my husband gave a married female friend of mine oral sex.

 

 

this is how it began : they spoke online about things i wasnt totally aware of. she has a spanking fettish and he wanted to make her happy. Well... when she came over this last friday night we all began to play a silly game just to kill the night away.

 

it was one of my married gfs and a single one with my husband and i. my husband was dared to preform oral sex on my married gf...... i thought he was joking when he dove under her blanket, but then my single gf who was there with me pulled the blanket up and hello.. he was eating her out. the married gal... also did not say no. i thougth she would have since she had already confessed to cheating on her husband once with an exbf and being unsure who her childs father was for a long time.

 

 

now, i didnt stop it. why ? i was in a state of shock. he had promised me nothing would happen.

 

 

i live in idaho where he is from, but i am from california. we will be married 3 years this october if we make it. we also have a 20 month old son.

 

 

ive told him i wanted a divorce, he wants to make it up to me and correct things... i am so hurt i just want out.

 

 

help me please...

 

 

 

 

 

 

thanks

[missm]

I would not be able to forgive any of them. CAN YOU SAY, NO BOUNDARIES? You not saying anything and kinda going along with the joke shows that you have some boundary issues too.

 

This impulsive behavior on the part of your husband is a baaaaaaaaaaaad sign.

[ThisGirlNameKD]

Take your leave, take your leave, take your leave! Number one, this was premediated. I can understand a heated moment of passion, but this was thought out and acted on, okay? They were talking about have sex long before he dined on her. I do have some questions though: why when he made it verbally known that he was going to perform oral sex on this woman, did you not get up and put an end to this? Did you think his dare was funny? Did you not find that disrepectful? That would have been very disrespect for a husband to even joke about! And why would you trust a woman who's cheated on her husband around your husband emailing each other and everything?

 

Is he truly sorry for what he did, or does he just want to correct things to ease his guilt?

[fredrolin]

if this story is even true, your husband has no respect for your marriage and doesn't beleive you would do anything about his infidelity.

I am sure your husband and this married gf have had sex in the past; he sounds like he was familiar with her "territory".

 

Then again this was a game, he was dared (by who?) to eat her p*ssy and he did it in front of you; maybe he felt it was all just a game.

 

Either way he is a pig.

[Arabess]

Why would she be speaking to your husband online regarding her sexual fantasies? It sounds to me like they set you up hoping for a threesome.

 

I'm not sure how you should handle it. It really depends on your personal views on marriage and if you would be interested in steppin out side of the marriage box and trying something new.

 

If you aren't, and I sure wouldn't be, then you really need to decide if you can forgive him, if he will continue following his own fantasies with or without your participation or if he will put his marriage above those fantasies.

 

No one can really make that call but you. You'll have to follow your heart on this one.

 

I'm sorry this happened to you.....I would be devastated! I would NOT keep her as a friend and would keep an eye on his computer time.

[HokeyReligions]

Premeditated or heated moment it doesn't matter. Your marriage has some very serious problems. Seek help via a counselor and/or a divorce lawyer.

[Goatsbreath]

How old are you. Dare games?, sounds like something you play when you are in high school when all relationships are pretty much unstable anyway. You Shouldn't be playing this type of game if you are unprepared to deal with the outcome. Grow up! Your relationship will always be the things you choose to subject it to.

[Fedup&givingup]

All of these people that have spoken have told you some things you should hear.

 

I say, GET OUT. I'm in the process of doing the same thing...although my husband never did that right in front of me, he's just as nasty and still very much on the same level of PIG.

 

I agree that this was premeditated, this whole game and all. I aslo agree with Arabess in that it was not right for them to be discussing your friend's sexual fantasies with your husband.

 

I know you are hurting, but also be VERY scared,and respect your feelings. We were given them for a reason.

[sassygal]

You have got to be kidding me. NO WAY!!! I can't believe you sat there and did nothing while this whole act went down. I'm afraid I would have lost it right there!!!

 

O.k., I'm still stunned about this.......... You all were playing a game and he was dared to go down on this chic right? An act like this shows that he has no respect for you. Is this the first time he has done something like this in front of you?

[Fedup&givingup]

Originally posted by sassygal

You have got to be kidding me. NO WAY!!! I can't believe you sat there and did nothing while this whole act went down. I'm afraid I would have lost it right there!!!

 

O.k., I'm still stunned about this.......... You all were playing a game and he was dared to go down on this chic right? An act like this shows that he has no respect for you. Is this the first time he has done something like this in front of you?

 

Hey, I've had some strange stuff happen to me too. I just froze up at the time, and I'm level headed and sharp about things...when you are IN it, it's a different story. Everything seems surreal, and you just can't even believe it's happening. Things happen in an instant , and we aren't always on our guard and prepared for them.

[SoleMate]

Yeah, that is surreal. I would also have been stunned and in disbelief. If there's anyone at LS who could have just coolly asked the two of them to cut it out and laughed it off, I would love to hear from them...

 

I don't think you need to rush to divorce. You have a kid, and your relationship has been good otherwise, right? So now it's time to haul out the big guns - COUNSELLING! And http://www.marriagebuilders.com.

 

he had promised me nothing would happen.

I hope the counsellor will help the two of you agree on some serious boundaries and safety measures - like no more seeing the woman he "did", no more sex games or jokes with third parties, no more online sex talk, no more inviting over "friends" whose behavior you consider loose or suspect.

[Fedup&givingup]

Counselling CAN work if.....

 

 

BOTH people recognize that there is in fact a problem

[morrigan]

Unless you already have an open marriage and openly indulge in swinging with other partners (this woman included) how on God's green earth could your husband have thought you would tolerate any of this BS? I would feel humiliated, devastated. At the least your husband and your "friend" should apologize.

 

I agree with Arabess about the threesome ploy. It would have been far more appropriate for your husband to ask you honestly what you thought of having sex with other people, rather than suddenly forcing you to see him perform a sexual act. It's good to have an open mind about things, but not so open that your brain falls out!

 

It's your decision on whether you can accept your husband's sexual behavior, or if you feel that you can no longer trust him.

[LRT]

Stunned or not, I probably would have ended the night in jail.I would have f*cked up one or both of them like nobodys business.Thats just me though.

I have this thing about oral sex.Too me it is more personal and intimate than anything else you can do.If someone cheated on me and it was just regular old traditional sex, I would be more likely to be open to working things out.But if a man of mine gave another woman oral, hell no I would be livid.

[befuddled11]

Okay, I'm lost.

 

*WHO* was it, in this little game of sorts, that dared him to go down on her? It obviously wasn't you. It obviously wasn't him. So was it HER, or the single friend who was there? The minute this "dare" was uttered, why didn't you freak out on whoever suggested it? Had it been me, I'd have flipped..mind you, I wouldn't be married and sitting around with girlfriends playing "games" of this nature either.

 

And this stuff about him "diving under her blanket"......what was she doing lying under a blanket? HUH? And unless, at this time of year, she was wearing a skirt with no panties, wouldn't it have taken him some TIME to get her pants/panties down so that he could do the deed? So, that being said, wouldn't that have been the big tip-off that something WAS 'going on' down there, giving you the time to rip off the blanket and put a stop to it?

 

Jerry Springer, are you reading this?

[fredrolin]

Originally posted by LRT

I have this thing about oral sex.Too me it is more personal and intimate than anything else you can do.

 

 

 

I can understand that.

 

With me it's kissing. I have to really like the chick to be able to tongue kiss her.

 

when I used to do one night stands or sex with women I didn't have feelings for I used to hate to kiss them, it felt gross.

 

Kissing is for lovers....

[lackofrespect]

thanks all for your comments, it has helped me believe it or not.

 

 

 

may 5th i fly to cali to stay with my family, from there i am going to make a decision on whether we will continue to stay married or not.

 

 

3/4 of me feels like its just time to divorce and 1/4 of me is unsure... i need my time away from him and i know then i will make a clear choice.

 

 

i have read i should have kicked them, i should have called the police, i should have this and that. however, until you are in the weird azz situation its really almost unreal to think of or understand.

 

 

MY MOTHER SAID THIS WAS SOMETHING YOU SEE ON A JERRY SPRINGER SHOW... i TOTALLY AGREE... hehe someone said that....

 

 

well thanks all and off i go- rosalyn

[Fedup&givingup]

Originally posted by lackofrespect

thanks all for your comments, it has helped me believe it or not.

 

 

 

may 5th i fly to cali to stay with my family, from there i am going to make a decision on whether we will continue to stay married or not.

 

 

3/4 of me feels like its just time to divorce and 1/4 of me is unsure... i need my time away from him and i know then i will make a clear choice.

 

 

i have read i should have kicked them, i should have called the police, i should have this and that. however, until you are in the weird azz situation its really almost unreal to think of or understand.

 

 

MY MOTHER SAID THIS WAS SOMETHING YOU SEE ON A JERRY SPRINGER SHOW... i TOTALLY AGREE... hehe someone said that....

 

 

well thanks all and off i go- rosalyn

 

GOOD luck, and something tells me you will end up divorcing him. You sound like you are in good spirits...good for you!

[lackofrespect]

Ref to Hubby / oral sex on EX friend Post: 17 | Quote:

 

thanks all for your comments, it has helped me believe it or not.

 

 

 

may 5th i fly to cali to stay with my family, from there i am going to make a decision on whether we will continue to stay married or not.

 

 

3/4 of me feels like its just time to divorce and 1/4 of me is unsure... i need my time away from him and i know then i will make a clear choice.

 

 

i have read i should have kicked them, i should have called the police, i should have this and that. however, until you are in the weird azz situation its really almost unreal to think of or understand.

 

 

MY MOTHER SAID THIS WAS SOMETHING YOU SEE ON A JERRY SPRINGER SHOW... i TOTALLY AGREE... hehe someone said that....

 

 

well thanks all and off i go- rosalyn

[Kelly67]

In this world some husbands just try to see what they can do and get away with. My husband (soon to be ex) sits and watches "Girls Gone Wild" commercials with his 12 year old son then lets him look at his SWANK magazine. Because after all he says "Boys will be boys and he's at that age...".

 

Of course I'm divorcing this loser for other reasons besides this. He invited me to go to a beach house that his mom rented last summer - I didn't know until after we got there his mom's friend was staying there as well. This "Friend" of mom's had previously taken my husband out for drinks then performed oral sex on him in the car. Of course it was before we started dating and got married but how do you think I felt ending up being at this beach house with a woman who'd gone down on my husband?

 

And other weird things have happened along the way so don't ever be surprised what men and women will do...nothing surprises me anymore.

 

I'm just at the point I don't trust men period. I've yet to know a man (married or single) who can remain faithful to one woman.

[virginia70065]

[color=red]I think if I would have seen this, I would have died of a broken heart!

But not until after I smashed his face against her coochie with my superhuman adrenalized rage and suffocated him! S*h*i*t, they would have had to surgically remove his nose from her cervix after I got through with him! And HER! Don't get me started on that heifer![/color]

 

Aaaah, now I'm finished venting...Seriously, you must divorce this a**h*** who couldn't respect his own wife and stifle any sexual curiousity. If you take him back, hell, that gives him a muff-diving license for sure! Just think, if he's eating at the Y in front of you, then what does he do behind your back?

 

Any time you feel weak, and feel like you want to take him back, just conjure up that image of him going to town under that blanket, eating god-knows-how-it-smelled stranger coochie. YUCK! What a nasty bastard!