missm Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 I dated this guy from Match.com for five months. We have similar values and humor and seemed to want the same things. He was very caring and attentive. He talked about future trips together. We were attracted to each other too. I thought, I had the whole package. He knew from my profile that I was looking for long-term and he said he was looking for the same. He was in the military in the reserves and was down at the base 5 days per week, but would see me on weekends and call me or e-mail every night . We actually live 3 miles away from each other. A week after his orders were completed and he was back home, he e-mailed me to say that we should talk about how things were going and what our future desures are? I knew what was up. I have never had a singel one of these conversations turn out to be happy for both parties. A phone conversation ensued and he revealed that he has really strong feelings for me but is confused about a future together and doesn't know. He kept saying how wonderful I am and how strong his feelings are, but he just felt confused. He told me that there wasn't anyone else and that he thought about counseling. He was sobbing as he broke the news. I told him that since he was having such mixed feelings and doubts that I couldn't continue the relationship and didn't want to try to be friends because I would just wish for something more. It was the worst feeling of loss when I hung up the phone. I am still devastated. I know I did what was best for me, but I am still soooo heartbroken and it has been four months since the break-up. I think about him every day. I would not call or e-mail him because it would only cause me more pain. I had to e-mail him the other day to tell him that I have HPV (virus that causes abnormal pap smear and genital warts), not that I got it from him, the virus can be dorment for years. He took it really well and said he didn't have any odd bumps down there. He said that he hoped I was doing well and he saw my picture in my newspaper ad for my business and liked it. I e-mailed him back to say that I thought we might run into each other around town and that I was sorry that I had to bring him bad news to hear from me and that the time we spent together is still very significant to me. I told him not to feel pressured to respond to the e-mail if he didn't want to. Guess what? He didn't respond. I am so tired of feeling heartbroken. I just don't understand it. How can someone seem so in love with you one day and the next day, walk away and not look back? I don't think I will ever trust anyone's feelings for me again? How many times do I have to hear, 'it's not you, it's me?' What is that all about? Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 How can someone seem so in love with you one day and the next day, walk away and not look back? Because he "seemed" like he was in love, I think you actually convinced yourself that he was in love. Did he actually tell you that he loved you or that he was in love with you? Did you ask him what he consider a long-term relationship to be? Some people consider a long-term relationship to be one that last atleast 3 months. Maybe his idea of a long-term relationship was 3-6 months. Finally, you're expecting his call said everything as to why you find it hard to get over him. You're still hoping something would come between you two. Once you let go of hoping, you'll be on the road to getting over him. Just chalk this one up as one that was as good as it lasted. If it doesn't last, it was never meant to be from the beginning. Link to post Share on other sites
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