July 25th

[smudge21]

Not the day I met the ex, but more importantly the day I realised I had very strong feelings for her. Just remember her leaving that evening and the second she went out the door I felt so alone, empty. I wanted to run after her. I didn't want to get serious over someone so tried my best not to think about it, but she was all I thought about after that date. Now it's only 2 months away and I just know it's gonna' bring up some memories. The worse one being "so yeah, what was I doing this time last year...?".

 

So I guess my question is, what do the rest of you do with those special days. And I don't just mean anniversaries or birthdays, but just certain days that remind you of what you once had. Those days that bring back those feelings of being with someone who you thought was 'the one'.

[Renard99]

I'm afraid I don't have an answer but I'd be interested to see what others have to say as I have one of those dates coming up.

 

On the 27th May it'll be a year to the day that I flew out to Italy with her for a holiday. It was the best holiday I have ever had. It was on this holiday, whilst sat in the glorious sun, looking at her, on an Italian hill top with the rolling country side as far as the eye could see, that I said to myself, 'this is the woman I will marry'. We both fell in love with Italy and as soon as we got back we said we'll go again in 2011. I said to myself 'I will save like mad and propose in Italy'. That dream was shattered 4 months ago.

 

The holiday to Italy marked the moment that I saw a fully formed future and I couldn't have been happier. The same date this year brings an uncertain future and anything but happiness. Amazing what 12 short months can do.

[Ajax]

I've got a few of those dates coming up myself. In a couple weeks it will have been a year since we went on a really fun wine tour together. 4th of July weekend we drove around the lakes and had a picnic. Her Birthday's in a couple months. Then the date which will in infamy.

 

It's not always easy, but not always as bad as you think. I have a few of those special dates behind me too, like our anniversary. There was also a festival we went to together last year and had a blast at. I went with a fiend this year and it wasn't the same.

 

My advice, and what I've tried to so, is let the memories come but don't dwell on them. I acknowledge that they were special days once, but not this year. July 25th is not the same this year as it was last year any more than August 14th (the date I got dumped) will be the same as last year.

 

It might be a good idea to plan something though, to keep yourself busy. Do something with friends or take another trip somewhere else. Or just try to go about your day as you would any other day.

 

When it comes down do it, it's not the date itself that matters, but the memories that get us. Hard as it is, try to live in the moment as best you can and leave the past in the past.

[radiodarcy]

*sigh* july 25th is my ex's birthday. and today is his son's birthday. but the day i realized i was in love with him was february 15th. i had gone to the movies by myself that day - - bought a huge tub of buttered popcorn and watched the wrestler and slumdog millionaire. it was while watching the wrestler that i realized i loved him. i wrote him a long email the next day telling him as much but of course, i got the expected response "i don't feel the same but i certainly do care about you" barf. stupid me hung in there for another 15 months after that.

 

needless to say, when that day rolls around i do my best to forget about it. which isn't hard to do since it wasn't a time in my life i particularly want to remember.

[Renard99]

Hi all

 

Just thought I'd update on how I passed that calendar date that I posted above.

 

I sent a request out to friends to have a meet up, explaining the reason why I didn't want to be alone, and they all made a massive effort to turn up (some of my friends work odd hours and some live a large distance away so we rarely have everyone at anyone time, so for all of them to turn up for me was rather touching!)

 

The night was amazing, as with everyone there, tales were told and jokes were shared. I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt. It made me realise that there is life after out there without her.

 

However.........

 

What brought the night crashing down was upon returning home, having been surrounded by people all night, it made the deafening silence of my empty house seem that much worse. Then, to add insult to injury, literally, as I turned the tv on, the first image to appear on screen was a man proposing to a woman. I was instantaneously reduced to tears.

 

So... a real range of highs and lows for the day but thankfully it's over for another year, and by this time next year, I hope for it not to bother me anywhere near as much.

[domple]

You know what my recent ex has the same birthday as my grandfather who I grew up with so only time will tell if i will even remember but in all honesty I dont even remember the others birthdays or when we got togther as they are not in teh forfront of my memory.

[Billie The Puppet]

I was going to propose in Italy this year myself.

 

The hardest part is as much as I loved her I was also in love with the idea of my proposal / being engaged. It was losing that that hurt the most to me. It's not entirely lost as I could find my "one" and still use it but it wouldn't feel right to do this too that's kind of like giving your new Fiance the ring from an ex it's not custom tailored to your new love rather it's recycled.

 

I was still going to go on my trip to Italy this year without the ex but for financial reasons I put it off for a year to refinish the basement.

 

As for these milestone dates I guess I have small reminders but they don't get to me that much, I guess I see them as normal triggers of things I miss. I suppose it helps that I also need to look at my phone or whatever to see what day it is lol.

 

Seriously VDay came and went up until it's last hour until I finally realized it was VDay.