A good idea to reconcile with my ex?

[Spunge]

Allright, just wanna sort the pessimistic people out here.

People who are like "No contact is only for your own health, and.." yadda yadda, get out. Why are you into second chances anyway? I know that you should ALSO heal, but god damn it, it doesn't have to be the only thing if something is worth saving, so stop spreading your pessimistic propaganda, to people who actually are of the same belief. Of cours epeople shouldn't linger to false hope and relationships which were abusive, but if you're only into heal and move on to the next, and just giving up... Then I feel sorry for you...

 

Anyway, if you're not one of those, you're welcome to read my story.

I started off by sending a no contact message like this:

"Hi, I agree with you about the decision to break up, I really believe it was the best thing for both of us. I have some big decisions to make and I need some time to think them over. I would really appreciate it if you didn’t contact me during this time. I will be in touch when I am ready." over text message, he started out by not respecting it, and sending me a respond "I'm glad that we agree..." but that was also it. haven't heard from him since (directly)

 

A few hours later a friend of his texts me "Sorry but ___ is more or less totally over you.. I'm sorry to tell you..." I was at a very vulnerable state, and sent him some crap I regret sending, but it doesn't matter. All info went to my ex, ugh, and he knew everything he said would go to me. All set, I worked on improving myself and having my own life for the next couple of weeks, he seems really to be moving on.

But I truly believe he hasn't since he:

* Still have our mutual name on FB

* Still have a drawn picture we created together for MSN

* Still have the "I love you, Spunge" on his profilepage

And then he still sometimes "obviously" tries to make me jealous, and seems angry with me. He broke up due to the fact I didn't communicate and open up enough for him, a problem I have worked A LOT WITH. But he didn't break-up due to "lack of love" he truly did love me, and showed in the most sincerest ways.

 

Anyway, then I reached the cap of 30 days of NC, of course I was tempted, had my weakness points, but I never gave in. Haven't contacted him.

For the first time I see him this day, randomly encounting him on the street, on the way home from a museum. When I see him I smile friendly, and nod. And he smiles back, it was clearly not a forced smile, but yet it had some insecurity into it (I know him very well) and he wore the T-shirt I gave him just a week before the break-up as an anniversery gift. He is the type who puts a sentimental value into stuff, not only "practical" he is a very sensitive guy.

 

Well, as far long gone, it's been 30 days, and due to the smile I think he got over the "resentment phase" and I'm far long gone over the "panic stage" I'm at a point where I know I can live without him (though i certainly don't want to) and when I met him, my heart didn't skip a beat. At all. Actually it was really emotionless. I think he noticed my new haircut, new style and everything, I've been doing really well.. Actually a funny thing, the exact same day I met him, his friend who claimed he was totally over me, started to randomly initiate a conversation with me. I had not talked with him since, so I find it a bit weird, but it could be a coinscidence, though. My ex still haven't initiated any form for contact himself, I think he respects my wish, he really is a very respectful guy.

 

However, I'm still unsure how long I should wait for a reconciliation call, what do you think?

I don't want to be impatient, and I can hold out longer. Do you think it's all positive set to go?

By now I think I should just wait another week, and then I'll give him a call. When we were together we were together basically everyday, and when we weren't together, we would be talking over Skype. I'm sure he misses me.

Thanks for your time to read this.

Edited May 25, 2011 by Spunge

[srcolema]

call him, see what he talking about. If you feel your not ready then wait another week but you may let him slip through your hands and then he will be gone.