How long doe sit take an ex to get the partying/rebellion out of their system?

[MyHeartHurtsOuch]

I feel like the avg is 3 months....now I think it just happens to be cause that's how long summer is and once it starts getting cooler and people go out less the ex comes back cause they want to snuggle and the holidays mean togetherness and etc.

 

My ex is 31 and before we met he didn't really go out and party he was more in a loner/yet still hooke dup with tons of girls state.

 

while together we would go out and enjoy life...then when my internship started i had to lessen that cause i was always tired...

 

now he's partying (with his 21-24 yr old friends), meeting girls, dating, he's kinda non stop right now....not partying the whole time but definitely out and about...

 

I don't know if he's just trying to figure himself out or if this is all just a distraction...i feel like most guys do this after a break up from a LTR...its like they rebel and need to go over board on doing all they can do-cause they can.

 

and so since my ex now wants LC that's what makes me think no way...i don't want to hear about his partying and great time etc.

 

i wanted a second fair chance at our relationship

[Anna86]

Hi, well I think I can shed some light on this.......

 

My ex was just like that after we broke up. I was so shocked and hurt as I thought he was the most fantastic guy. He had so much respect for women, never slept around, he never even had a one night stand. So imagine my surprise when I find out he is on online dating, flirting with random weird women and pretty much just being a mess......I thought I must be insane if I did not see that coming and really took offence.

 

However, I just spoke to him earlier and for the first time he told me he acted like an idiot. He said he went through this crazy stage after break up where he felt alone and needed to be with girls to fill the void. This is four months later when he finally admitted it to me.

 

He is with someone now, like your ex. But he said its not serious and he enjoys the company of a woman (aka sex and attention). I am sure it's the same for your ex.

 

I think some people have poor coping skills so they act this way.

 

It is much harder to brave it alone........I am trying it this way and I think its better in the long run.

[radiodarcy]

i agree with Anna - - i think some people (men and woman as well) just enjoy the feeling of getting sex and attention from someone new. my ex is 35 and divorced (not from me) and still seems to go in and out of the partying phase. he'll do the loner thing for a few months. then all of a sudden he feels like he's missing out and will go on a full out partying binge - - going out every night; hooking up with women, etc. this lasts for a few months. then he gets tired or disillusioned or both and goes back to be a loner.

 

shortly before he went on his most recent partying escapade, he cut things off with me but wanted to be friends. but i just couldn't do it because i didnt want to hear about all that he had been up to. honestly, i don't ever want to talk to him again. as much as i love him (and always will) dealing with such back and forth behavior is too much of a headache...

[Beeotch]

Don't know...but it doesn't matter. If someone is your ex, then whatever is in their system is not in your jurisdiction.

 

Sitting around waiting, essentially, while this person is out living their life (even if it is a distraction), watching and waiting and making excuses to sit there waiting is a waste of your life! It won't make the person want you, or respect you, but see you as a doormat, always there, ready and waiting for when they're done doing whatever they want to do...it's crazy.

 

I used to watch my exes life and think OMG he never did such things, this is a distraction, blah blah. I never thought I was "waiting" for him to wise up...But I was. In any case, he went on like that for months, getting new gfs on top of it, then "coming back" every so often, promised the world, then disappeared again. Each time he left and went off to party and do outrageous things AND date other women, and then came back, I let him in thinking "Oh maybe he learned this time", "Clearly he really loves me and can't live without me and is just acting out"...LMAO! It's funny now, because the truth is, that is not the case and he did it because I was a nice, security blanket. Now I cringe at the fact that I allowed myself to sit around concerned about his life and what he was or wasn't doing, overanalyzing all his actions instead of seeing the truth that we're broken up....move on....if it is "meant to be" then it will come back around in a MATURE, CONSISTENT, and SERIOUS way. Everyone tries to make themselves the exception to the rule, when 99% of the time that is not the case and something, magical and different won't happen.

 

 

So my suggestion to you, is not to be worried about when your ex will be done doing what he is doing. If he wants to do it for the next 2 years, will you be waiting? For what? No man is your last chance, do NC, not LC and move on instead of being the "fallback girl", the foolish ex who he knows will jump when he says jump no matter how much crap he does.

Edited May 25, 2011 by Beeotch

[plasma]

It takes Years!

 

correct

 

i did a 3-4 year strong run no problem until i got into my last relationship