Being thrown into the "real" working world

[dollface07]

Okay I get no sympathy from my younger sis she's 23 and I am 27 she's been working while going to school since she was 18.

 

I am having trouble adjusting to "real" world working...I say "real" because it's not a real position it's working for a few months (until early August) as a summer desk worker in dorms. I chose this position so that I wouldn't have to pay to live on-campus while I complete the last 2 classes towards my graduate degree.

 

In the Fall I will be in a doctoral program so I don't have to worry about working to support myself since they pay me to do the phd program and provide a living stipend.

 

I don't want anyone to criticize me because you may have been like my sister working while going to school...I am fully appreciating how hard students work but I got the lesson late since before as long as I got good grades I could get scholarships...

 

But now the reality is hitting me hard I have been working while going to school since Feb. this year and that's going to be almost 6 months of working to complete the final portion of this degree.

 

I know 6 months is nothing compared to some students who worked 6 years just to complete a bachelors...but does this mean I am not allowed to vent and express my frustration that this is really hard...not the job itself but I feel strange in this new life of working to support myself and study...

 

I am smart and resourceful but I seem to give off this vibe (like all of my life I have had people tell me) that I just need to marry rich and be taken care of :'( this hurts me so much b/c I feel that I really do have a strong character and want to prove to myself that I can do this on my own :'( I am not a feminist or anything so I am not coming from some sort of defiant perspective

 

I just needed to vent b/c I haven't shared these feelings with anyone except my sister's but they just cant relate and I feel alone and ashamed to say this new life is difficult...

 

Please let me be honest (and PLEASE no rude comments that the princess has been dethroned or something okay b/c I have a good heart and I am a good non-superficial person despite how this post is coming across), just the fact that I can step outside of myself and know how others might view this post is a testament in itself that I am not full of myself :'(

 

 

My grievances since working to pay for school tuition/living expenses earlier this year: :'(

 

I never have the time to get a manicure/pedicure let alone do it all by myself b/c it takes me so much longer than the ladies at the salon

 

never have the time to get deep conditioning at salon I do it myself at home

 

never have time to have a proper good diet and I gained some weight because of this (but it's not irreversible and I am not losing any sort of self confidence due to this)

 

no time to go to the mall, out to cafes/restaurants with friends...or even any time to make/nurture any friendships let alone a relationship

 

I wake up at like 6:45am in dorms to go downstairs from 7am-11am to do the front desk thing

 

dont have time to go shopping (I said that already)

 

Make my own coffee

 

wash my own hair

 

have unpolished nails

 

b/c of no pedicures my feet have become rough

 

no longer wear high heels like almost never...sigh

 

wear casual clothes because no time to pick a nice outfit (lol or don't fit into a cute outfit as a result of prior mentioned diet)

 

NO MAKEUP I am not wearing makeup (too time consuming) and i find myself not caring either since I guess I am thinking I will be out of here in August who cares if they look at me without makeup...before everyone commented and said I looked like a kardashian sister now I feel (joking) that I look like a servant girl

 

I feel my quality of life is suffering and I just cant wait until early-August when I can begin a new chapter and not have to worry about financing everything all by myself...

 

Please tell me will I have some sort of sense of accomplishment and an ingrained feeling of self sufficiency after this whole real world exposure ordeal/fiasco is over? Is there any redeemable quality that will be newly established in me?

 

If you feel there is something I am missing or a lesson I am not seeing would you please tell me sense maybe the anxiety/stress of this experience is blinding me to what I am supposed to be learning from it all...I dont want to learn this lesson after the fact in hindsight I want to keep in in my mind throughout this experience so that I can use it as motivation when I am having days like I am having today...not feeling sorry for myself but just feeling isolated, alone and ashamed of how I may come across to my sisters if I told them how this real world experience is really affecting me...I have worked before but just b/c I wanted to know what it was like not because I had to...right now I am working because I HAVE to in order to feed/house/pay for completing my education...this is a whole other situation altogether

 

I am not out to prove anyone wrong that I just need to be "taken care of" I am genuine in this post and have nothing to prove to anyone whatsoever I am not that superficial I am going through this experience with grace and hopefully dignity too...but it's hard sometimes quitting is not an option b/c I am SO close to the finish line...in my weakest moment I only considered quitting for a maximum of 30 seconds so I am not weak just having a few uncertain weak moments recently...many of my "friends" the real superficial ones just admire me b/c I am working so hard and can't imagine how I am doing it all as they go get their eyebrows done but I don't really have a choice...when I go back to my former more financially stable position in life in the Fall I wont ever take it for granted again ever.

 

Thank you if you read all the way to this point,

 

pouting dollface

[dollface07]

I think it is all hitting me hard because it's summer time when getting a tan, clubbing beach parties etc should be taking place...I am actually losing my appetite and when I am stressed I eat more but when I am REALLY stressed beyond the normal stress threshold I don't feel like eating...so that's how I know that I need some feedback from you all to help me get through this since I am losing my appetite (this only happened to me once before when I broke up with my first doctor bf and lasted only a week) although I do want to lose a bit of weight I want to do so voluntarily not because I am physically not hungry due to my quality of life right now...so yeah any advice/suggestions from the kindness of you all's heart would be very welcomed?

[denise_xo]

Is there any redeemable quality that will be newly established in me?

 

Well, it might be useful for you to get used to not having extensive amounts of time for all those things on your list sooner rather than later. A PhD is quite time consuming. Even if you find the time during your PhD, there will be a time when you will enter the world of work again (unless you are planning to be a SAHM), and then you would need to deal with 8-9 hour work days. On the other hand, people do a fair amount of the things you list (put make up on, see friends on a regular basis or have a relationship) even though they have full time jobs, so maybe you will also learn to become more efficient and prioritise your time better. Both of those are valuable skills.

[Els]

Eh, we all only have 24 hours in a day. When you take on extra responsibilities, it is natural that others will have to fall by the wayside. With you working AND studying full-time, you shouldn't be too hard on yourself for not being able to do all the things you listed. Consider them a necessary sacrifice. Choose a few that are really important to you and then prioritize those. I would suggest prioritizing food and friends.

[tman666]

Part of the "lesson" of accomplishing a difficult task is proving to yourself and, in this case, your university that you have the time management skills, focus, and determination needed to get your stuff done and still keep your life in some semblance of order. Yes, your social life will suffer, and may even be completely eliminated for a time. Your health may suffer IF you don't make time for it. But you should know by now that NOBODY gives a single f**k. Not one. "Real life" is similarly brutal, if not more so.

 

You'll feel extremely accomplished after YOU put in the blood, sweat and tears needed to cross the finish line, against the naysayers and those who tried to stand in your way. You might get lucky and get a hand out here and there, but a mantra of self reliance and personal responsibility needs to resonate with everything you do. Many times, you'll be presented with situations that require you to cut your losses. Prioritize everything.

[applefruit]

I know what you mean.I'm a 27 yr old girl too, soon ill be 28 tho so i might be a yr older. but I know what you mean at this age you want to begin to be accomplished and be who you are.

and I know wat you mean with being a girl and people telling you to marry a rich accountant and be taken care of.Lots of girls do that but we have a choice in 2011 to be something.In the 1940s most women were inspired by betty crocker or lucile ball.who can sew or bake better LOL

 

NOW WE ARE EMPOWERED. theres 25 yr olds that got married to a rich dude and so they sit home, paint their nails and shop and they are 25 yr old housewives and dont want to do anything with their life.

I know wat you mean with wanting to do and accomplish something,make your mark on the world and im sure you have more potential than watching qvc and creating the best brownies recipe.

my own mother was a housewife so she is no role model to me at all. she also got married at like 23 to get away from home because she lived in a small apartment with 3 younger siblings.

 

I know how it is to be lasy, im sure men are lasy too. i wish i could sit home and have a money tree in the backyard and win the lottery. if i could stay home for a week munching on food and playing video games and watching movies i wouldnt mind that much, but its not my dreams or goal in life

not why i studied hard in school and have potential and talents

 

but you are stronger than me, im too lasy and also i have alot of things to deal with so i never finished college and i do not have a job. my parents financialy support me which makes me feel like a loser but its not my fault. and i dont have money for everything i want. its only small spending money for basic things like food,basic clothes,toothbrush etc

i dont have money for a nice purse or bracelet or to get my nails done or dress very nice because i dont have a job and my parents wont give me alot of money. just what i need to survive

i also feel depressed like giving up and being lasy and i feel worthless so im not as strong as you.

i also dont wear fancy clothes, makeup or do many fun things but thats because i have more important things to focus on.which are scary, things got in the way of me having a regular lifestyle now

 

so be glad your in school and dont put yourself down, you have any job which is better than many people

 

reach for the stars but dont criticize yourself if you are still not 100% accomplished yet

[SpiralOut]

Hey there,

 

I really think that the things worth having are the ones that you need to work hard for. I worked while going to school. The first few years it was for pocket money and because I wasn't sure how long my savings (I had a lot in savings) would last. It wasn't until my last year of school I NEEDED to work or there was no way for me to afford school or afford my apartment.

 

I had to live on a tight budget which meant not buying myself nice clothes, books, video games, and I hardly ever got haircuts. There were days I was so tired I wore no makeup and had to wear dirty clothes because there wasn't enough time to do laundry yet that week. I guess for me it wasn't a huge sacrifice since I have always been frugal to begin with. After a while it did get to me and made me feel crazy. Whenever I walked by the plants section I would feel sad that I couldn't afford to buy myself some flowers or a pretty houseplant. I think the hardest part though was not having much time for myself. I hardly had time to even sleep.

 

Just remember this is temporary. Afterwards you are going to have so much more appreciation for everything you have and you will have proven to yourself that you have it in you to persevere. And even if you can't do everything you want to do, you can still pick a few things that matter to you and make time for them. See if you can set aside one night a week where you do something nice for yourself. Oh, and making a homemade smoothie might help with your appetite. They are soo good