Author YoungSuccesful Posted April 14, 2004 Author Share Posted April 14, 2004 I have made a point to be faithful... Not to make an excuse I think this is a BIGGER FEELING with this new girl... B/c I have not lost any feeling for my fiancee' I know I know...men like me disgust women...but It not a hook up or a one night satnd I wasnt being a typical guy...I wasnt thinking with my DICK...I was thinking with my heart Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 If you are still want to be in a relationship with your fiancee, you need to stop seeing this girl totally. No chats, no phone calls or emails. After a couple of weeks or months, you may realize that she wasn't as exciting to you as you perceived her to be. If you keep on seeing this girl, even if you don't have sex with her, your girlfriend could still view it as an emotional affair. It would be really no less painful to her than if you admitted you had had meaningless sex with some stranger. You should at least give her the choice to decide if she still wants to be engaged if you have these mixed feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted April 16, 2004 Author Share Posted April 16, 2004 Thanks for all the good feed... Link to post Share on other sites
nitram100 Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 man forget the young chick! Fight the temptation, prove to urself ur strong willed Link to post Share on other sites
Rightlymia Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Don't get married. You are too young and you haven't gotten all the partying out of the way. You need to tell your fiancee and let her move on with her life. Link to post Share on other sites
xxbrokentoyxx Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 What are you doing? You meet some 18 yr old chick and your thinking of blowing it off with the women your engaged with?! You just met this girl, of course things are exciting and new and you cant wait to see her, you just met! Your love for your fiancee is stronger then that, if you were even considering marrying her that means a lot. That 18 yr old girl is not mature. Or she would respect the fact that your engaged. I cant believe you kissed her though. You did say that didnt you? Thats cheating. THe simpliest form but still. You need to tell your fiancee and be lucky if she stays with you. What your doing right now is why 40 yr old men are alone and single. They keep wanting the greener grass on the other side. Females can be the same also. But you need to understand that like you said you also connected well when you met your fiancee, why does this new girl even get a thought because she clicked also? Things arent always as exciting as when you first meet someone, thats life get over it, but if you break off your relationship for this new girl, after about six months you'll bond with another. ITs a never ending search for the perfect person but there isnt one out there. I believe you could be making a tragic mistake. Expecially at the age of 23. Dont ruin you and your fiancees happiness, for a little excitement. Its not worth it. Tell her everything, then plead with her to understand and forgive. ALways Jenn Being loved by someone gives you strenghth, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Link to post Share on other sites
mommy78 Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 I TOTALLY agree with the post above. That is so true. Things are gonna be exciting "at first". It's always like that with everyone. You just cant wait to see her. You always wanna look good for her. You cant do anything embarrassing, etc. Things will always be exciting....but only in the beginning. Maybe things arent as exciting with your fiance right now. How long were the two of you together? I seriously think you should let go of your fiance, she doesnt deserve you at all! You are one of the guys that live up to "all guys cheat" making all men look like cheaters. You know what your doing is wrong. I just can never understand why people say "I love you or I'm in love with you" but still cheat. They're all LIARS!!! Link to post Share on other sites
marriedman Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 I think its natural to sometimes feel slightly attracted to someone else, even if you are married. There are people we will find exciting, and people that your spouse will find exciting. The key is drawing boundries, behaving appropriately, and always having respect for your spouse. Marriage is a long journey, and everything will not always be perfect. I beleive it is in those not so perfect moments that people are weaker and can become attracted to someone else. Those that are truly in love with their spouses (and not idiots) are the ones that can think rationally through the attraction, discuss it with their spouse, and get over it. It is also natural to be scared and questioning when you are engaged (and I think common when you are engaged at such a young age). Marriage is a huge commitment. You should question yourself until you are positive you are making the right choice for yourself. However, it is not natural to kiss someone else while you are in a commited relationship and planning a marriage. It is also not natural to question your engagement to the extent that it appears you are doing. It seems like you are VERY CONFUSED. And it also seems like you are very much a 23-year old guy, young and not ready for a commitment. If you are fantisizing so much about this other girl, and it is not out of simple and normal fear of taking the "next big step", then maybe this is because you are not ready to be married, and your fiance is not the one. Deal with it, be honest with your fiance, and move on. Eventually, you'll be ready to commit, and you'll know because you will be so excited about spending the rest of your life with this person, you couldn't possibly think of anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted April 23, 2004 Author Share Posted April 23, 2004 Originally posted by mommy78 I TOTALLY agree with the post above. That is so true. Things are gonna be exciting "at first". It's always like that with everyone. You just cant wait to see her. You always wanna look good for her. You cant do anything embarrassing, etc. Things will always be exciting....but only in the beginning. Maybe things arent as exciting with your fiance right now. How long were the two of you together? I seriously think you should let go of your fiance, she doesnt deserve you at all! You are one of the guys that live up to "all guys cheat" making all men look like cheaters. You know what your doing is wrong. I just can never understand why people say "I love you or I'm in love with you" but still cheat. They're all LIARS!!! Easy killer Sounds like you been on the short end of the stick a couple times Link to post Share on other sites
faerykissd Posted April 24, 2004 Share Posted April 24, 2004 [color=blue][/color]I agree that it is normal to find others attractive even when you are in a serious relationship with another person. There are a lot of good posts and I have to say I agree with the fact that it comes down to self-control and respect for the person you are with. I don't think that you need to play the field or hook up with more people. If that's what you want to do, fine. But I truly think that regardless this will continue to be a problem for you in future relationships if you do not deal with the real issues, which are respect and self-control. So if you start dating this younger girl, what happens when gorgeous girl C comes along? It will be the same thing over and over. I don't think that just because you found another girl you like it's worth it to throw away what you have with your fiance. Obviously, I don't know much about your relationship with her and I'm making a big assumption here that it is meaningful. So ask yourself if you could see living without your fiance forever. If you can, maybe your relationship isn't all that meaningful (which may explain why you're looking around). At any rate, you need to tell your fiance what is going on. She deserves that much. You screwed up and regardless of what you decide with the relationship show her some decency as a fellow human being and come clean. Good luck. I'm sure it will work out for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah_J_uk Posted April 26, 2004 Share Posted April 26, 2004 ok seriously - stop all contact with her or at least tell your fiancee. trust is so important in a relationship. I know that she would be really hurt to know that you have become close to other girls. She could never trust you again. If you broke with the 18 yr old you could forget but if it goes on much longer you fiancee will notice something is wrong and you could fall apart. why risk this? you obviously think alot of your current partner or you wouldn't have gotten engaged. don't mess things up. You don't even know how things would go if you got together with this 18 yr old maybe it would last a few months but your current partner could last a life time. Link to post Share on other sites
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