Having an imaginary relationship in your head?

[xisnotx]

I'll have a relationship with someone in my head. Usually this someone is based loosely on someone in real life. I'll have conversations with her, talk to her, ask her questions, have her ask me questions, answer those questions..and basically have a good time with her.

 

Surely I can't be the only one doing this?

 

I'm not sure whether this is healthy or not.

 

I do it because

1) I can't not do it. I slip into having a conversation with her all the time..just naturally. She gives me insight into things plus she 'gets me'.

2) I consider it good practice for the real thing. I mean..I've done everything from breaking up with her..to asking her to marry me. I try to understand her point of view and can and do reconsider things when she thinks I'm wrong.

3) It's fun.

4) It's a good way to pass the time.

5) If there is a real life girl who I find attractive, but I don't want to talk to, I can just "be in a relationship" with the girl in my head and all is good.

 

I was thinking about it not being healthy because

1) I constantly weigh real life girls against this "imaginary gf" and very few measure up well. I think subconsciously I do this as a way to end attraction in myself to a girl in the first place.

2) I'm a bit too old to be having an imaginary girlfriend.

3) If I told anyone about her, I think I might be considered crazy.

4) Since the girl is usually roughly based on a real life girl, I usually have thought about this girl a whole lot more than she has thought about me. Since I need some facts to base this person off of, I typically recall exactly what this girl said to me in real life..because it's that data allows me to extrapolate what her answers are in "my reality". I think it freaks girls out in real life when I can tell them exactly what they're favorite color is...and list a multitude of her probable responses to my question of "why?".

5) Since I do this a lot..if I ask a girl a question..and she gives me a typical "her" response...I'm already bored with the conversation..(the converse is true...if I ask her a question..and she gives me a response I was not expecting...I'm instantly intrigued..and will probably ask her 10+ more questions..because I was wrong)

 

Still, I don't see myself ever stopping..unless the right girl comes along. My question is..is this sad/unhealthy? and umm...is it just me?

[oldguy]

Still, I don't see myself ever stopping..unless the right girl comes along. My question is..is this sad/unhealthy? and umm...is it just me?

 

Are you replacing real world conversations & relationships with imaginary ones, because if that is the case it's not healthy.

 

Also; you consider it; "good practice for the real thing", that is alright if your preparing to talk but not so much in a conversation where listening is so important. Rehearsing what you want to say is one thing but imagining what someone else will say in return & then your response to that is not so practical.

 

Is this sad? Do you feel sad about it?

Is it unhealthy? anything that consumes you and keeps you from enjoying life could be viewed as unhealthy. I would suggest you try to interact with real people more.

Is this "just" you? No, to some extent it is a little of all of us.

There is a little Walther Mitty in each of us. In fact I believe those who deny that the most may be the ones who are the most unhealthy.

[Ross MwcFan]

Maybe I'm wrong, but it doesn't seem normal to do this, if you are able to get real relationships.

 

Otherwise, if you can't get real relationships, then it's a lot more understandable, and at least it's better than nothing.

[Badenov]

You're just fantasizing, that's all.