contact thru other people

[myname]

Today at my work there is a leaving do for a colleague, which I know my colleague invited xMM to, a while back, before the wife's call and everything.

 

I don't know if he was ever planning to really come along to it, but he's been in touch with her to say he can't come but that I will buy a drink for her on his behalf. I must have had a look on my face like WTF cos then she said he'd said to say that to me and then see what the look on my face was like.

 

I know this is a small and insignificant thing, but I'm fuming. There's the horrible feeling that I'm being laughed at by him, and there's also him stepping into my workplace and creating a connection in people's minds between me and him.

 

Probably also is some hurt that he's contacting other people but not me, even though his last email and text I've ignored and even though I know I shouldn't be even wanting his contact.

[Emme]

SMH... He ain't no good! Wow... keeping tabs on you even though you are not involved anymore. I guess you are going to have to put your guard up...seriously... and try not to interact with the people you know he has a connection to. I'm sorry you have to alter your life because of him but damn... he wants to know what your reaction was... wow. He is still invested in you, feel sorry for him. I tell you some people just can't live without drama in there life.

[myname]

SMH... He ain't no good! Wow... keeping tabs on you even though you are not involved anymore. I guess you are going to have to put your guard up...seriously... and try not to interact with the people you know he has a connection to. I'm sorry you have to alter your life because of him but damn... he wants to know what your reaction was... wow. He is still invested in you, feel sorry for him. I tell you some people just can't live without drama in there life.

 

I ended up not going to the leaving do, after what she said and told me I was so cross, and I just didn't want to be around work people or my colleague who's leaving, it was just reminding me of him, and making me feel angry and anxious with what he might say to other work people, he used to work there and still does do some freelance work.

 

Before when I'd tried to finish things he started to cc me into work emails to other people which said cryptic things suggesting some kind of connection with me, he even sort of threatened to make it obvious at work that he'd been with me... and he's the one staying married.

 

I wonder if he was trying to make me angry enough to phone him up and ask what's going on? It came close to working. His last text was irritating too, suggesting at a work meeting he knew I was going to that I should steer the conversation in a way that suited him.

[Emme]

Oh boy... This man is really trying to get under your skin. Can you block him change your phone number? His aim in the end is to get you angry and it's working. The only plus is that you have LS to vent. He wants you to break NC. He wants you to be angry and sad as he is. I don't know how affairs are in the work force but when he's using it to sway your judgement... that's going too far. Maybe someone with a similar affair can give you pointers on how to cope. I would curse him out once to let him know how pathetic he is but that's adding fuel to fire. You just have to ignore him... that's all I can come up with. Hopefully someone else has tips for you. Keep that chin up.

[myname]

Oh boy... This man is really trying to get under your skin. Can you block him change your phone number? His aim in the end is to get you angry and it's working. The only plus is that you have LS to vent. He wants you to break NC. He wants you to be angry and sad as he is. I don't know how affairs are in the work force but when he's using it to sway your judgement... that's going too far. Maybe someone with a similar affair can give you pointers on how to cope. I would curse him out once to let him know how pathetic he is but that's adding fuel to fire. You just have to ignore him... that's all I can come up with. Hopefully someone else has tips for you. Keep that chin up.

 

Thanks, it is working, and it's not just anger that comes along, there's a whole mixed up range of emotions.

 

I already cursed him out about two weeks ago, less than a week after it was all over after getting an email from him, and in the end it made feel really rubbish.

 

Just got to ignore however hard that feels I think, and I reckon everyone at work at the very least suspects there was something going on, so he can out us if he likes, he's the one with a wife.

[Emme]

Focus on your career and do the best you can. He's drama and he enjoys every minute of it... ignore. If anything when he's expecting you to lash out at him just say to yourself... I'll pray for you. I would tell you to tell him as a response but that will only make him dislike you more because he can't have you. Pray on it and let it go.

[2sure]

I dont have much to offer except some empathy. Back when I was OW if any MM did anything to enter or effect my life outside the "box" that was the affair...I would end it. Total Deal Breaker - Back in the Box Jack!!

[myname]

I dont have much to offer except some empathy. Back when I was OW if any MM did anything to enter or effect my life outside the "box" that was the affair...I would end it. Total Deal Breaker - Back in the Box Jack!!

 

Thanks, don't know how to get him back in the box now the affair's already ended though!

[waytogo]

Mymame, I agree with the other posters who said he is trying to get under your skin. I don't know your whole story, but I'm guessing you finished things with him.

 

I know it's hard when the meaness comes from someone you once felt close to AND it touches your livelihood; but really try not to let him get to you. The more you can shrug him off, the more you "win" this game he is playing.

 

Good luck!