joseph Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 Ok, here's the situation, I d appreciate any thoughts/tips/advice. My ex and I were together for 4 years and we broke up about a week ago. For the first 3 and a half yrs of our relationship things went relatively smooth. Other than the occasional fight that every couple has. Then we moved in together away from our hometown to go to school; and I embarked in a very demanding program, she on the other hand has a somewhat lax program. Anyway, this lead to me studying all the time, and her be more available to have more fun, and she most likely felt alone due to this. and I acknowledge that I kinda blocked her out, and was blind to the fact that our relationship was failing. I realize this now, and I also realize how stupid I was. So by me wanting this education so bad, I forgot what was so important, and took her for granted. So for a while before the relationship ended, she was unhappy, and so was I, and when it ended, she moved out..and thats what gave me time to think where it all went wrong. I also realize that its not only the fact that I took the relationship for granted..but I think it stemmed from this, and other things just kept compounding because we were so detatched. I fully understand that she had her part in this too. So Im able to see my faults in the relationship; unfortunately a little too late. Just recently, (9-10days after it ended) I called her and she agreed to meet for a coffee; and I told her basically how I felt and and where I thought things went wrongs..I got to that fact that I wanted to reconcile. She didnt play around at all, and refused. She said that she thinks that its best that we both take time to be alone... she said she doesnt want a relationship with me or anyone else at this time. I do respect that..its not what I want..but I can respect that. She also said that time will tell if were meant to be together, and if later on after weve been apart for a while, and even perhaps dated other people, we will know if we have strong enough feelings for each other to pursue another relationship. Im hurting and I cant stop thinking about her and the fact that Ive lost an amazing part of my life. Im aware that right now, its not possible to get back together, and im not harrassing her, Im just leaving it be..but does someone like me deserve another chance down the line Link to post Share on other sites
sienna Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 Joseph my husband has been working all the time and barely spends time with me Im married twenty four years and for the past two years he has been doing this to me. Its a horrible feeling and thanks for pointing out to me he is taking me for granted......Maybe you two should get together after school ends. She probably thought it was the next best thing to being married and found out different....oh well finish school and do your best cause its what makes you happy and you will be able to support your family one day the way you want. My old boyfriend told me he had no time. Be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author joseph Posted April 14, 2004 Author Share Posted April 14, 2004 Glad I was able to point that out Sienna: because it isnt right at all. Its just that it seems like it happens without even realizing it..and hopefully your husband can come to realize this before its to late. As for my situation, any sort of advice or anything else would be greatly appreciated. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
sienna Posted April 15, 2004 Share Posted April 15, 2004 Do what u need to do to improve your life work hard at it. Try to date the girl. Dont get involved you have no time. Just date. I have a 24 year old son and I tell him to sow his royal oats lol . As for me, yes it just happens I know my husband loves me and I think Im going down the shore this weekend with him on this days off. Do good in school, keep your life as a husband one day in mind and being able to support them. Dont marry a girl for her money. I bought a newer car and boy am I getting watched by all men lol why because of my car. lol A real man doesnt do that. lol nope not in my books.......... Link to post Share on other sites
Author joseph Posted April 15, 2004 Author Share Posted April 15, 2004 thanks sienna..I like think im an independent person..thats why Im out to get this education, so I can have a good life one day.. Im just kicking myself because I took it a little to seriously probably. I mean, ya, it's important. but there are other things that mean alot to me too..such as my ex... I havent had contact with her for a few days now..and I dont plan on contacting her anytime soon, as she has refused to try things again right now. I dont want to push her away. So not seeing her these past few days, I find myself feeling not as bad. I think this is the best way to go..and perhaps down the line we will bump into each other and we can rekindle our relationship.. Does this sound like the best way to go everyone? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
sienna Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Got your reply and it seems good that u came to that conclucsion. lol Rock on! Link to post Share on other sites
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