jerrym Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 I've been married to my wife for three years. She has always had an amazing figure and has a very gym honed, slim body, but was always quite shy. 18 months or so ago she met a new group of girls and started going out with them a lot, and over that time i noticed a change in her dress sense, with her dressing more sexily and she became more outgoing. I didnt think much of it because i was pleased she seemed happy with her new friends. However, in November last year she seemed distant from me and she finally admitted that she was booked in for a boob job in December, and she hadnt told me because she was going up to a very big size and she thought i would be upset. She had made up her mind and told me she had thought it through, and although when she first went for consultations she was only looking to go up one cup size, she decided she wanted to go as big as she could with her first boob job. Fast forward six months and she is now fully recovered and she has changed so much. Her friends, which has grown to a large group of girls and guys, want her to go out with them every weekend, and she has everything from hair extensions to the fake tan, fake nails and killer heals and tight dresses. I met her out two weeks ago and she is very well known by all the bouncers and VIP's in all the bars and clubs. What are people's thoughts on all this? Am i right to be very worried? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Sounds like she already received and spent her divorce settlement. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 You "met her out" at a club? You two make a habit of going out every weekend without each other? I have to agree with Carhill; she doesn't sound interested in having a marriage with you (as I understand marriage to be), but then again, you don't see too interested in having a marriage with her, either. How long did you date, and why did you get married? Have you been happy for the 3 years in the marriage? Do you tend to openly admire very large breasts? Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Do you really need us to tell you what you already know? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerrym Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 I don't admire massively large breasts and i never asked her or put the idea into her head for her to get the boob job.Sorry, just to clarify my comment about meeting her out in a club. I had been working on the saturday and i knew she was out so the only way of seeing her that night was to go and meet her. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 'You want to enjoy both the security of being married and the freedom of being single' Sounds a lot like what is being shared here. I'm not seeing much teamwork. There was a point in MC when I said those words to my now exW (different circumstances). If you don't have kids at home to care for, move into a hotel for a few days and let her know you're 'thinking about things'. Then go silent. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Something looks very fishy here, Jerry. She's radically modified her appearance in all ways so as to project an overtly sexual image. Which would be less of a concern if it were for your benefit and for hers, and for the two of you as a couple. But from what you've described, it's for the benefit of the new group of friends, and the places she goes with them. Very concerning is that these outings you describe almost never seem to involve you. I wonder if she takes her wedding ring off after she's left the house. Or if her "new friends" even know she has a husband. You should do two things: 1. Start going with her to as many of these outings as you possibly can. Suggest that you do so (without verbally insisting), to see what response you get. Act friendly and upbeat -- "hey, I've been thinking... I'd like to meet these new friends and join you guys when you go out clubbing from now on. How's that sound?" Does she try to dissuade you? Or does she welcome the idea? That should tell you a lot. 2. Start surreptitiously checking her phone when she's in the shower. See if you can check her email and Facebook. You're looking for flirty messages from other guys, and more importantly, if there are any, how she responds to them. Good luck mang... Link to post Share on other sites
Toodamnpragmatic Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 First, how old are you two and how long did you know each other before you got married? Sad to say but sounds like she is with the wrong crowd and may slowly be losing her. She obviously wants and craves attention and unless you sit down and figure it out right now with therapy and counseling I don't hold much hope. I think people above have read between the lines and are trying to blame you for something you have not done. Nothing wrong with other/different friends and being apart 1-2 nights a week, but your spouse is in a haze...... So sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 However, in November last year she seemed distant from me and she finally admitted that she was booked in for a boob job in December, and she hadnt told me because she was going up to a very big size and she thought i would be upset. She had made up her mind and told me she had thought it through, and although when she first went for consultations she was only looking to go up one cup size, she decided she wanted to go as big as she could with her first boob job. You're getting a peak at whats to come. Boob jobs are expensive and that money is combined income; no where near as forgivable as buying a dress without discussing it first. Next she will decide (without your input) to sleep with someone else and not tell you because she thought (knew) it would upset you. And she sounds like she has impulse control problems with that "wanted to go as big as she could with her FIRST boob job". I do hope you caught that part - it clearly shows she intends to spend more of your combined income on something she will not confer with you over to up her sexual lure. Link to post Share on other sites
y2k Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 I've been married to my wife for three years. She has always had an amazing figure and has a very gym honed, slim body, but was always quite shy. 18 months or so ago she met a new group of girls and started going out with them a lot, and over that time i noticed a change in her dress sense, with her dressing more sexily and she became more outgoing. I didnt think much of it because i was pleased she seemed happy with her new friends. However, in November last year she seemed distant from me and she finally admitted that she was booked in for a boob job in December, and she hadnt told me because she was going up to a very big size and she thought i would be upset. She had made up her mind and told me she had thought it through, and although when she first went for consultations she was only looking to go up one cup size, she decided she wanted to go as big as she could with her first boob job. Fast forward six months and she is now fully recovered and she has changed so much. Her friends, which has grown to a large group of girls and guys, want her to go out with them every weekend, and she has everything from hair extensions to the fake tan, fake nails and killer heals and tight dresses. I met her out two weeks ago and she is very well known by all the bouncers and VIP's in all the bars and clubs. What are people's thoughts on all this? Am i right to be very worried? This doesn't sound good. Why isn't she involving you in all this??? The fact that she got surgery to better herself wouldn't be bad if she was still involving you in all these things. But here she is not. It all sounds fishy. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 she finally admitted that she was booked in for a boob job in December, and she hadnt told me because she was going up to a very big size and she thought i would be upset. You have bigger problems in your marriage than boobs.. Your wife buys or agrees to buy a big ticket item and alter her appearance and go under the knife all without you knowing about it or how it will be paid for ? Who was she planning on putting on the surgery forms as her contact person and who was going to take her to the hospital ... one of her friends ? Are you okay with all of that ? Link to post Share on other sites
Afishwithabike Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 There are big red flags all over your post. You have every reason to be concerned. What people don't say and don't do says as much as what they say and what they do. Here she had major surgery without really asking you for your opinion. She spent a lot of money on major cosmetic surgery without really consulting you. Yes, it's her body and she can make changes to it, but a loving partner would ask you and keep you involved in the decision, not just tell you afterwards like you're just a friend to her. Did you even get to go on any of the pre-surgery visits to the surgeon before the operation? Why is she undergoing such a radical transformation? Has anything changed in your lives - a new job? new location? family problems? What are you doing during these times she goes out with her new friends? I think reservoirdog's advice to you is great. Do it. Find out how she'll react to you joining her during these outings. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 You've got BIG problems here. Your W is selfish, immature, and I'd bet the farm there's alot more than friendly banter and conversation going on when she goes out. Seek and you will find the truth. Or just keep your head in the sand and hope for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck1979 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 You both sound young. Cut your losses now and start anew. Sounds like she's transforming herself to find herself a bigger fish, KWIM... If you do have sex with her, make sure to wrap it up. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Ahhh, I remember when my boobs were new. What fun we had! New Boobs can change a woman as far as self esteem or confidence but they should not and do not change your life. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 The things she has unilaterally done to make herself more appealing to men seem strange to me when there is supposed to be one man in her life: you. Link to post Share on other sites
Kriss Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 I wonder if the implants are the only foreign objects that have been inserted in your wife's body. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 My wife had a big boob job and has changed massively Words to remember... Link to post Share on other sites
everlong24 Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 My wife also wants fake boobs. She claims it's for her self but what the heck does she think the guys looking at her are thinking?! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 IMO, it's not the what (breast augmentation) but how (unilateral) and the attendant behaviors of de-prioritization. Be wary of new groups of girlfriends. For some people, at some times of their lives, it's little different than hanging out with a different 'clique' in high school, and sometimes just as unhealthy. I'll bet the bouncers could tell you stories if they already haven't. Good luck. I'm thinking you'll need it. Link to post Share on other sites
OldOnTheInside Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 The only piece of advice I can give you is to grit your teeth and prepare for bad news. Odds are, that's the only kind of news you'll find. Link to post Share on other sites
Entropy3000 Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 I've been married to my wife for three years. She has always had an amazing figure and has a very gym honed, slim body, but was always quite shy. 18 months or so ago she met a new group of girls and started going out with them a lot, and over that time i noticed a change in her dress sense, with her dressing more sexily and she became more outgoing. I didnt think much of it because i was pleased she seemed happy with her new friends. However, in November last year she seemed distant from me and she finally admitted that she was booked in for a boob job in December, and she hadnt told me because she was going up to a very big size and she thought i would be upset. She had made up her mind and told me she had thought it through, and although when she first went for consultations she was only looking to go up one cup size, she decided she wanted to go as big as she could with her first boob job. Fast forward six months and she is now fully recovered and she has changed so much. Her friends, which has grown to a large group of girls and guys, want her to go out with them every weekend, and she has everything from hair extensions to the fake tan, fake nails and killer heals and tight dresses. I met her out two weeks ago and she is very well known by all the bouncers and VIP's in all the bars and clubs. What are people's thoughts on all this? Am i right to be very worried? Why is it ok for your wife to be going out on weekends with guys and girls to bars and clubs without you? That is single behavior. Now add the changes she has made. Bail dude. Bail. This will not end well. Link to post Share on other sites
Ripstar Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I wonder if the implants are the only foreign objects that have been inserted in your wife's body. +++++ Nailed it on the head! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerrym Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Thank you to all the great responses and thoughtful replies, i have found the advice and words given by you all to be very helpful. There's lots of points made that i have since brought up with my wife. I asked her if i could go out with her and her friends, and she was angry at first but then told me it would be fine for me to do so. All of her friends, girls and guys, are good looking and when we were out it was clear she is very well known in all the going out places and there were guys drooling over how she looked. One of her friends told me, after a few drinks, that she is wild, and since her boob job guys can't wait to see what she will be wearing the next time she is out. I didnt pick up upon the 'first boob job' comment until it was pointed out on here. However, i brought it up with her and she admitted that she would love to go even bigger and she had it in mind when having her first boob job. I must stress that she paid for the boob job out of her own money, from a bonus she earned through her job. She told me last week that she has met a man who is an agent in the glamour and porn industries who loves her look and wants her to become his client, and she is considering having a portfolio of shots done and looking at doing some modelling as a side job. We are both 26 for those who asked. Anyway, thanks again for the replies. J Link to post Share on other sites
OldOnTheInside Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 How do you personally feel about this jerry? Link to post Share on other sites
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