My wife had a big boob job and has changed massively

[Ouroboros]

This has all of the infidelity warning signs all over it.

[jerrym]

I'm unsure how to feel about her wanting to sign with an agent and look get some work with him.

 

I questioned how she had met him and she told me he had seen her out a few times and asked her friend if he could be introduced to her. She went to a party which was thrown by him at the weekend and had his range of clients there, and following that i feel she has made up her mind to sign with him.

 

What does worry, and please tell me if i am overthinking this way too much, is what type of work he is looking to get her. Her look - big fake boobs etc, and the fact she wants to go even bigger in the future, would seem in my eyes to sort of pigeon hole her in the porn modelling category rather than glamour modelling.

[Entropy3000]

I'm unsure how to feel about her wanting to sign with an agent and look get some work with him.

 

I questioned how she had met him and she told me he had seen her out a few times and asked her friend if he could be introduced to her. She went to a party which was thrown by him at the weekend and had his range of clients there, and following that i feel she has made up her mind to sign with him.

 

What does worry, and please tell me if i am overthinking this way too much, is what type of work he is looking to get her. Her look - big fake boobs etc, and the fact she wants to go even bigger in the future, would seem in my eyes to sort of pigeon hole her in the porn modelling category rather than glamour modelling.

 

All the holes are exposed here including the pigeon. Pigeon hole? hmmm. So it would be ok if she just dabbled in the porn industry in your mind. You just are concerned she would be limited to doing porn.

 

Wow. Boggles the mind. Unless you wish to be cuckholded further you should run away. Right now.

[Entropy3000]

This has all of the infidelity warning signs all over it.

 

No. No. Only an insecure man who does not love his wife would think anything is going on here.

[jerrym]

I think a poster has read my concerns about her modelling career wrong - my concern isnt so much her modelling topless, it's that her looks may mean she will be pushed into porn and porn mag modelling. That's my great concern.

 

Sorry for the confusion.

[xxoo]

I think a poster has read my concerns about her modelling career wrong - my concern isnt so much her modelling topless, it's that her looks may mean she will be pushed into porn and porn mag modelling. That's my great concern.

 

Sorry for the confusion.

 

It doesn't sound like she is being forced into things. Is your wife interested in modelling for porn?

 

I think it is time for an open conversation about what she wants in her life, what you want in yours, and if those are compatible interests.

[kaculka]

sounds like she is looking for something. you have said she was shy before therefore i belive that a confidence was an issue. I thing she is looking for an attention, admiration and maybee something more than she is receiving in your relationship. Sounds as if she is going a wrong way about it meaning on very superficial level:o.

[Ouroboros]

sounds like she is looking for something. you have said she was shy before therefore i belive that a confidence was an issue. I thing she is looking for an attention, admiration and maybee something more than she is receiving in your relationship. Sounds as if she is going a wrong way about it meaning on very superficial level:o.

She'll eventually realize the flaws in pursuing this lifestyle probably but it might take until her 70's or 80's. That doesn't mean she wouldn't repeat her mistakes given the chance. A large part of life is devoted to repeating mistakes even if one learns one's lesson. Not everything taught is applied.

[Feelsgoodman]

18 months or so ago she met a new group of girls and started going out with them a lot, and over that time i noticed a change in her dress sense, with her dressing more sexily and she became more outgoing. I didnt think much of it because i was pleased she seemed happy with her new friends.

Many a good woman has been ruined by bad company. I've witnessed that first hand. Allowing your to hang out with that new group of "friends", especially in your absence, was a big mistake.

[sally4sara]

Many a good woman has been ruined by bad company. I've witnessed that first hand. Allowing your to hang out with that new group of "friends", especially in your absence, was a big mistake.

 

People are not "good" or "bad". They are capable of both.

Adults are able to be exposed to all manner or behavior and still choose one or the other. Simply being around "bad" behavior will not change a "good" person into a "bad" one.

 

But many people of legal age are not ready for adult logic. I think intelligence has something to do with it, but what keeps someone from maturing to adult reason is never having to face a negative consequence for their behavior.

 

OP, your wife may have paid for this with a bonus from HER job, but the two of you married and marriage is a partnership. If you picked lotto numbers, bought a ticket, and hit the jackpot - would you exclude her from those winnings? A person either thinks like a partner or they don't. I may put in the work to earn a sum of money and that money is mine, but since marriage the definition of MINE is me AND the members of my family. My husband is a member of my family. In what way was your wife thinking like a partner when she received this bonus and chose to use it for something so unnecessary as a disproportionate set of titties? Had you expressed dissatisfaction in the set she was born with? Are they still not satisfactory and need to be larger? If YOU did not express a dissatisfaction for her natural endowment - who was this much larger set for? What is she getting from this set that was not made available with her natural set?

 

Clearly it isn't about a need for more income, she already has enough if she is able to purchase this new set and more at a later date. So what is she intending to accomplish with larger and then even larger breasts? And why should you back this endeavor when any money said "modeling" will bring in will likely also be considered "hers"?

[Feelsgoodman]

People are not "good" or "bad". They are capable of both.

True.

 

Adults are able to be exposed to all manner or behavior and still choose one or the other. Simply being around "bad" behavior will not change a "good" person into a "bad" one.

Not true. "Good" and "Bad" are social constructs. Being "bad" is actually easier than being good, as people are naturally selfish. The only thing that keeps people good is social pressure. This social pressure comes either from ingrained beliefs (the way one was raised) or one's social circle.

 

Hanging out with the wrong crowd (i.e. the type of crowd that does not look down on "bad" behaviour) certainly can turn a good person into a bad one. People seek social approval and validation, so even if they were raised good, they will eventually become bad if that is necessary to fit into their social circle. And as stated earlier, going from good to bad is a lot easier than the other way around.

 

Men these days are too worried about being seeing as "controlling" when it comes to their wives and girlfriends. But the truth is that the difference between a "good" woman and a "bad" one is largely determined by her social circle.

[sally4sara]

True.

 

 

Not true. "Good" and "Bad" are social constructs. Being "bad" is actually easier than being good, as people are naturally selfish. The only thing that keeps people good is social pressure. This social pressure comes either from ingrained beliefs (the way one was raised) or one's social circle.

 

Hanging out with the wrong crowd (i.e. the type of crowd that does not look down on "bad" behaviour) certainly can turn a good person into a bad one. People seek social approval and validation, so even if they were raised good, they will eventually become bad if that is necessary to fit into their social circle. And as stated earlier, going from good to bad is a lot easier than the other way around.

 

Men these days are too worried about being seeing as "controlling" when it comes to their wives and girlfriends. But the truth is that the difference between a "good" woman and a "bad" one is largely determined by her social circle.

 

Yes. That's why I didn't turn into a bigot after growing up in a racially contentious neighborhood, being attacked during a riot by people with a different skin color, and jumped by a group from the same rioting crowd later after knowing people of my own skin color who were bigots for most of my formative years.

Or why I don't beat on my kid despite being abused through childhood.

Our behavior and actions are complete choice beyond reflex. To blame it on the company we keep is the root of ignorance and other "bad" behavior.

[Feelsgoodman]

Yes. That's why I didn't turn into a bigot after growing up in a racially contentious neighborhood, being attacked during a riot by people with a different skin color, and jumped by a group from the same rioting crowd later after knowing people of my own skin color who were bigots for most of my formative years.

Or why I don't beat on my kid despite being abused through childhood.

Our behavior and actions are complete choice beyond reflex. To blame it on the company we keep is the root of ignorance and other "bad" behavior.

On March 24, 1944, Royal Air Force pilot Nicholas Alkemade jumped out of his burning plane without a parachute. After falling 18,000 ft, he not only survived but was able to walk away from the landing site.

 

See where I'm going with this?

[sally4sara]

On March 24, 1944, Royal Air Force pilot Nicholas Alkemade jumped out of his burning plane without a parachute. After falling 18,000 ft, he not only survived but was able to walk away from the landing site.

 

See where I'm going with this?

 

HE was lucky. It doesn't mean we should all go without a parachute when jumping out of a plane - burning or otherwise.

 

I remained rational despite my situation. Rational though is more reliable.

[Feelsgoodman]

HE was lucky. It doesn't mean we should all go without a parachute when jumping out of a plane - burning or otherwise.

 

I remained rational despite my situation. Rational though is more reliable.

The point is that there are exceptions to every rule. "Jumping out of a plane without a parachute and falling to death" is a general rule that has very few exceptions. "Being a product of one's environment" perhaps has more. Still, the general rule applies for most people.

[2sunny]

I'm unsure how to feel about her wanting to sign with an agent and look get some work with him.

 

I questioned how she had met him and she told me he had seen her out a few times and asked her friend if he could be introduced to her. She went to a party which was thrown by him at the weekend and had his range of clients there, and following that i feel she has made up her mind to sign with him.

 

What does worry, and please tell me if i am overthinking this way too much, is what type of work he is looking to get her. Her look - big fake boobs etc, and the fact she wants to go even bigger in the future, would seem in my eyes to sort of pigeon hole her in the porn modelling category rather than glamour modelling.

 

She told me last week that she has met a man who is an agent in the glamour and porn industries who loves her look and wants her to become his client, and she is considering having a portfolio of shots done and looking at doing some modelling as a side job.

 

 

she told you she's signing on to the PORN industry.

 

get it?

 

open the eyes... your W is about to enter the business of selling her body and soul to the dark side... YOU want to ride along?

 

i suggest getting the quickest divorce possible. get tested for STD's and get out! DO NOT have sex with her anymore! seriously - think, using your BRAIN!

[Feelin Frisky]

She's now totally on her own trajectory and has left you in every way but really leaving you. If I were you I would take this as a sign that you are involved with someone who has an identity complex and therefore she makes it rather impossible to trust or love because she's not "one person" you can trust and figure out. I got very burned by that myself. I think most people fall in love partly with who they think the other person is and partly who the other person really is--and in this can you'd be wrong on both counts and that can feel like a self-betrayal as much or more than an actual betrayal. I couldn't deal with that when it happened to me--I felt so awful that suddenly I was her home boy convenience and number two behind who all else she would be meeting. Good luck man.

[reservoirdog1]

Thank you to all the great responses and thoughtful replies, i have found the advice and words given by you all to be very helpful.

 

There's lots of points made that i have since brought up with my wife.

 

I asked her if i could go out with her and her friends, and she was angry at first but then told me it would be fine for me to do so. All of her friends, girls and guys, are good looking and when we were out it was clear she is very well known in all the going out places and there were guys drooling over how she looked.

One of her friends told me, after a few drinks, that she is wild, and since her boob job guys can't wait to see what she will be wearing the next time she is out.

 

I didnt pick up upon the 'first boob job' comment until it was pointed out on here. However, i brought it up with her and she admitted that she would love to go even bigger and she had it in mind when having her first boob job. I must stress that she paid for the boob job out of her own money, from a bonus she earned through her job.

 

She told me last week that she has met a man who is an agent in the glamour and porn industries who loves her look and wants her to become his client, and she is considering having a portfolio of shots done and looking at doing some modelling as a side job.

 

We are both 26 for those who asked.

 

Anyway, thanks again for the replies.

 

J

 

Gawd, so much going on here that's troubling. Where to begin...

 

The glamour/porn part is worrisome enough (emphasis on the "porn" part, I bet...). Particularly because she's all but decided to do it, without even talking to you about it. That's not something a committed partner just "does" without at least talking to the other partner about it first.

 

And why did she become "angry" when you first suggested going out with her? That's a very weird reaction, if there was actually nothing going on.

 

There is more going on here than you're aware of. I'd bet vital parts of my anatomy on that. Your marriage is in serious trouble. If I were you, I'd keep investigating... and even consider hiring a PI.

[Gotti25]

Theres nothing wrong with improving looks. She's still very young and trying to enjoy her life. I disagree with some posts on here. At least she let you go out with her and her friends she could have easly said no. As for the porn & modeling thing she may be very excited that she has been approached by such proposition and it makes her feel very special.

[2sunny]

Theres nothing wrong with improving looks. She's still very young and trying to enjoy her life. I disagree with some posts on here. At least she let you go out with her and her friends she could have easly said no. As for the porn & modeling thing she may be very excited that she has been approached by such proposition and it makes her feel very special.

 

then you marry her!

[Ouroboros]

At least she let you go out with her and her friends she could have easly said no.

She almost did and that's when you know something is really wrong. She's trying to hide something and it is bigger than what has been revealed so far.

[OldOnTheInside]

I'm particularly perplexed at how you are taking this jerry. With such a large amount of unsolicited changes in such a short period of time, I would expect many husbands who have been placed in your position to freak the **** out.

 

But I am curious...how do you intend to proceed from here?

 

Is your wife involved in this future that you see?

 

Are you involved in the future that she sees?

[jerrym]

I'm unsure the next step to take to be honest with eveyone.

 

I spoke to her last night and asked her how she things developing over the next few months and what direction she wants to go in, and asked her to be honest with me.

I raised my concerns i have with which type of modelling she will be lined up to do, glamour or porn, and she has told me that her agent feels the porn mags will be very interested in her, and it would be her preference to. So this will mean you will become a porn star, i asked, and she told me 'it's only a job'.

 

She told me it's just a matter of time before she does have another boob job, and her agent has even suggested paying for it for her.

 

I've asked her where this all positions me and she told me that i had to realise she had changed and since meeting her agent it had all started to happen for her and she was going to grasp the opportunites that come along and that there was nothing wrong with that.

[reservoirdog1]

That seems to tell you pretty much what you need to know. In a fairly short space of time, you're going to be married to a porn star. Given her attitude towards it as conveyed to you, it strikes me as unlikely that she's going to stop at just photos. She's going to bang other guys for money, and it doesn't sound like she's even going to do you the courtesy of letting you know before she starts. Hell, for all you know, she's already been on the "casting couch" with her "agent". In fact, there's probably a LOT here that you don't know.

 

Some people are okay with being married to porn stars. Are you one of them? That's the real question you need to answer.

 

Oh, and you should get checked for STDs. Immediately.

[crazyd]

I'm unsure the next step to take to be honest with eveyone.

 

I spoke to her last night and asked her how she things developing over the next few months and what direction she wants to go in, and asked her to be honest with me.

I raised my concerns i have with which type of modelling she will be lined up to do, glamour or porn, and she has told me that her agent feels the porn mags will be very interested in her, and it would be her preference to. So this will mean you will become a porn star, i asked, and she told me 'it's only a job'.

 

She told me it's just a matter of time before she does have another boob job, and her agent has even suggested paying for it for her.

 

I've asked her where this all positions me and she told me that i had to realise she had changed and since meeting her agent it had all started to happen for her and she was going to grasp the opportunites that come along and that there was nothing wrong with that.

 

Yikes! Reading your story, it reeks of selfishness on her part. The final paragraph you posted (quoted) reveals that. I'm in no place to tell you what or what not to do, but I'm concerned this is going to end badly for you, at least immediately. She doesn't seem to be taking your concerns seriously, and is enjoying the attention that she's now receiving.

 

If you haven't yet, set up hard boundaries, and don't let her cross them. Stand your ground. Stand up for yourself, and for your principals. Unfortunately, what you both want aren't compatible any longer, and as has been asked already, how would you really feel being married to a porn star if it comes to that.

 

Once again, stand up for yourself, and for what you believe in regarding this marriage. If not, she's going to continue to disregard considering you in her decisions. If you don't have children, and are still young, you may need to consider jumping this ship. This situation is NOT going to end well the way it seems to be going, and you deserve someone who will listen to your concerns, and take them seriously; and not disregard them for the feeling she gets from the newfound attention she's getting.