Citizen-d Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Last august my wife said she didn't love me but would give me a chance! Well she was cold and after lots of talking and saying lots of times there was no one else she moved to her mums with the kids in February this year! I was devastated and then in march I got into her facebook and found out she was seeing a bloke from work and had lied to her own mum. I told her dad who was gobsmacked and I told her I knew and she called the cops and said I was harrasing her, well we are going through mediation and she is still denying the affair and I'm finding it hard to cope! I'm working on myself and have lost weight and I'm starting a new business but she just won't speak to me and I'm gutted for our kids! I thought she would at least say sorry!! But she is acting really strange, I don't want her back even though I still love her, I just want to understand! any views welcome? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Dude. Forget mediation. Waste of time. Divorce. Get a lawyer and line up your ducks. Then go thermonuclear on her ass. Shock and awe. Show her that her lying, cheating actions have consequences. Link to post Share on other sites
The Great Gazoo Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Regardless of who or what she did -- the gist is that she wants out. You will NEVER, EVER understand what motivated her. Even if she tells you, you won't even know if it's the truth. The only fact that matters is that she wants to be gone. Your job is to concentrate on the kids and move down the new path that you've been put on. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Last august my wife said she didn't love me but would give me a chance! Well she was cold and after lots of talking and saying lots of times there was no one else she moved to her mums with the kids in February this year! I was devastated and then in march I got into her facebook and found out she was seeing a bloke from work and had lied to her own mum. I told her dad who was gobsmacked and I told her I knew and she called the cops and said I was harrasing her, well we are going through mediation and she is still denying the affair and I'm finding it hard to cope! I'm working on myself and have lost weight and I'm starting a new business but she just won't speak to me and I'm gutted for our kids! I thought she would at least say sorry!! But she is acting really strange, I don't want her back even though I still love her, I just want to understand! any views welcome? Answers will not give you the peace your looking for, you will never understand because SHE probably doesn't even understand. It doesn't matter what evidence you provide, she will never admit to the A unless that suits her purposes and hers alone. Been hit by that particular truck myself. The poor souls that find themselves on this board rarely get the apology they deserve. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 Last august my wife said she didn't love me but would give me a chance! Well she was cold and after lots of talking and saying lots of times there was no one else she moved to her mums with the kids in February this year! I was devastated and then in march I got into her facebook and found out she was seeing a bloke from work and had lied to her own mum. I told her dad who was gobsmacked and I told her I knew and she called the cops and said I was harrasing her, well we are going through mediation and she is still denying the affair and I'm finding it hard to cope! I'm working on myself and have lost weight and I'm starting a new business but she just won't speak to me and I'm gutted for our kids! I thought she would at least say sorry!! But she is acting really strange, I don't want her back even though I still love her, I just want to understand! any views welcome? Hi Citizen-d, I may be one of the "lucky" few who did get something of an apology from my exH, but still not an admission of what was happening behind the scenes leading up to our separation and divorce. My exH simply gave me the statement that he was sorry and he knew that he had crossed a line that couldn't be uncrossed. He totally denies that she was in the picture while we were still together; however, I say maybe not in the physical sense, but perhaps in the emotional sense. I truly have no idea how much influence she had on the demise of our marriage and probably never will. The sad fact is, you may never get the answers you are looking for...you will only get the ones that they want you to believe or ones that just leave more unanswered questions. Keep moving forward for yourself and your kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 You've come to the right place for advice. Note I didn't say answers, for as the posts above accurately explain you could get crystal clarity, a heartfelt apology and 100% of the truth and be no better off than you are now. The truth you discover about yourself and how you approach life is far more valuable. Stop looking to her for anything and look inside. That's the key. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Citizen-d Posted May 29, 2011 Author Share Posted May 29, 2011 Great advice everyone I kinda knew the answer, I'm just in alot of pain right now and I'm hurt that my wife who I loved so much has done this to my children and me! Every time I see her It hurts, but I know I need to move on! Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 I feel what your going through mine is acting up again nothing I can do but just get out of the mess and find someone else just take my time doing so. Sure you'll loose those pounds as your hurting deep inside. We men are care about the wives but they don't care back! That's the trouble with these type of wives we have. Link to post Share on other sites
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